


Waiting for November

by Turtle_ier



Series: Turtle's MCYT AUs [18]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Blow Jobs, College, Coming of Age, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Dry Humping, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enthusiastic Consent, First Dates, First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Grinding, Idiots in Love, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love Triangles, Multi, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Porn With Plot, Recreational Drug Use, References to Depression, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Underage Drinking, tags for post ch6:, tags for post ch8:, tags for post chapter 12:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:34:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 61,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28918425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turtle_ier/pseuds/Turtle_ier
Summary: Sapnap's in college, and college was supposed to be different, right?So why does it feel almost exactly the same? Almost everything, that is, apart from the two people who keep bumping into him, who apparently know one another but are more interested in knowing him. Even though he's studying theatre, Sapnap at least had some hope that most of the drama would stay on the stage. But as the longing he has for home gets weaker as Thanksgiving break comes closer, nothing ever seems to go his way.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Turtle's MCYT AUs [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875367
Comments: 118
Kudos: 684
Collections: smp stuff





	1. Chapter 1

Yep, it was happening again. 

Everyone had said college would be better, for some reason, and yet here he was, getting stared at and whispered about in his very first class. Those two in the corner, very obviously childhood sweethearts or something that had decided to come here together, banking on getting accepted into the same course, wearing denim and leather jackets respectively, and were looking straight at the side of his head. He could deal with it, he’d dealt with it for the past… god-knows number of years. Sapnap could deal. This was fine. 

The teacher, or whatever they were supposed to be called (Lecturer? Professor? Probably professor), handed out the scripts for their upcoming production, one he had no choice but to be involved in, but had a choice in what part. The chair he sat in squealed as he crossed his ankle over the opposite knee. People were already rustling their papers, looking through for the different characters, the lines, set pieces, and Sapnap’s eyes lingered on the title. 

_Heathers_.

It seemed fitting, somehow, that the two at the back of the room were laughing quietly as he read it. 

Kingston was a university town in south-west Montana, or a college town if you were being pedantic about that sort of thing, and Sapnap could feel the unusual heat in the air every time he went from his dorm to class and then back again, as the summer heat continued into September like it needed to be reminded to leave. No one had spoken up about it yet, just sweated in their hoodies and opened the safety-locked windows further than they should to let in the breeze. He had the unexpected advantage of having his dorm room on the second floor, and although he had to share, it wasn't a bad place. 

His roommate wasn't bad either, even if he insisted it was his nickname, and he took to calling Sapnap ‘Sappy’ as if it would make him seem like anything but a loser. He wasn't tough, just quirky, and so long as he stopped ‘tidying’ all of Sapnap’s stuff away, he thought it might work out. 

“It’ll be okay,” Bad said to him, “I know I can be a bit nit-picky but I promise I’m not that bad. Besides, you seem like the kind of guy who can look after himself.”

Bad was standing on his bed, struggling to put up a poster for the programming society on the wall with sticky tape. Sapnap knelt on the floor to look under his bed. He pulled his phone charger from a box before shoving the suitcase further under, and he spoke up. 

“I can,” Sapnap assured him as he tucked his shoe box, with no actual shoes inside it, under the bed and let the covers fall over it. “And I think we should set, like, a couple of ground rules for both our sakes, yeah?”

“Like what?”

Bad asked it like he had never been told ‘no’ before, but Sapnap had accidentally met his parents already. They were the stuck-up type, the straight A type, and Bad had seemingly grown up to fit the same shoes. Bad had been told no plenty of times in the past, it seemed, he’d just stopped asking instead. It meant Sapnap needed to be at least a little careful if this relationship was going to work. 

“Just, general stuff. I know I can be a bit messy but I’ll try and keep it contained, and I feel like we should warn one another before inviting people over.”

“Oh! I won't be inviting anyone in, well, in _that_ way,” Bad assured him, but Sapnap waved his hand.

“No, just in general. Like if you’ve got a headache after class and you come back to me holding a study session on the floor or something. I’ll let you know if anyone comes over, regardless, and you’ll do the same yeah?”

“Of course!” Bad chirped, “I’ll let you know, Sappy. So long as my phone is charged.” 

“Cool, uhm,” Sapnap stopped for a second before barrelling on, “I’m actually meeting this person on my course, Puffy, tomorrow in the library if you want to come. It’s a casual thing, she’s… technically not even on my course.”

“Technically?” Bad asked, stepping down from the bed, and Sapnap recognised the raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah, she’s on the costuming course but working for the same production as me. She wanted company outside of her class to do some work, so, well, here I am. I’m sure she’d love to meet you. She’s– “ quirky “–nice. Really nice.”

Bad put a hand to his chin to think, and did people really do that? Sapnap mentally shrugged to himself, letting Bad mull it over, before the other man spoke up.

“Okay!” he said, “But only if I can bring Skeppy.”

“He's on your course?”

“No,” Bad said easily, “He does media management.”

“And you know him?”

“Not really.”

Sapnap didn't question him. Some things were best left alone when it came to eccentric roommates. 

His parents messaged him that night, the standard ‘How are you's and tales from the workplace, but Sapnap was busy. He wasn't busy. He was on his laptop, scrolling endlessly through whatever website had caught his fancy and he had the room to himself. Bad was at one of the clubs he had joined, possibly chess or checkers, or whatever board game had caught his fancy, and he was sitting in his bed with his sheets over his leg.

Checking Facebook, he had a few messages, a couple new and a couple old, and three friend requests. Sapnap accepted them without looking, and closed the webpage immediately afterwards. His phone was still on the bedside table, no new messages, and he closed the curtains looking over the quad without looking out. 

Down the hall, people were making noise, but that was fine. He didn't plan on joining them, and his headphones hid most of it away. 

It was a sunny, breezy Thursday when Sapnap took his script to the library. He brushed off the fine layer of dust which had settled on it in the week he didn't look at it at all, and he slipped it into a plastic folder before making his way across the campus. He got take out from the student-run café, which wasn't bad, per se, but he wanted to drink the coffee in peace and without someone talking too loudly, saying, ‘Samantha, you’ll never guess!’

Bad was meeting him later, along with this mysterious ‘Skeppy’, and so was Puffy. She was a costume designer, working specifically for theatre more so than movies, and the course was gearing up to help them on the set since it would be fairly easy for the freshmen to get involved. Bad was just there to hang out, his computer-science degree meaning nothing to the two of them, but he was nice enough. Like Sapnap had thought when he first met him, he was just a bit quirky. 

Puffy was quirky, too, as he had thought to himself. She seemed like just another brown haired, nerdy, artsy student, and that was enough for Sapnap to not feel bad calling her that. At this rate he wouldn't have said anything to anyone in the college but would have formed an opinion on them anyway. 

As he approached the library he threw his empty coffee cup into a nearby trash can and looked up at it for a moment before continuing inside. The library was a large, separate building from the rest of the college and as he went through the front doors Sapnap felt like the building was swallowing him whole. He blinked away the bleary dots in his vision, which swam around like moths, but as his eyes adjusted he was able to ignore the anxious butterflies in his stomach and move further into the building.

Not a lot of people were around, since it was still so early in the year, but with the script he needed to memorise as quickly as possible weighing down his backpack he knew it was better to get ahead than to lag behind. 

The bones of the building, or whatever the beams were called, were exposed between each of the skylights and were gathering a nice mixture of posters and dust, advertising the college’s mascot – a sandhill crane, talons out in a way it would never do in real life – and the fact that books were both a thing and fairly good. The building was separated into three floors, with a central atrium area amplifying every sound and doing exactly what everyone in the library didn't want, but the old building was filled with modern additions, like an elevator and LED lighting. Sapnap moved from the front of the library, taking in the shelves on the bottom floor (mostly with massive medical textbooks) and the various study areas before he found one free. 

Five chairs, three plug sockets, and a fairly easy location to find, Sapnap took the seat that faced out into the rest of the library and so that his back was against the wall. All of the larger desks were between shelves, in a circle so that it was more of an enclosed, group study area rather than in the middle of the library. The table was covered in bits of paper – leaflets and advertisements for fraternities and sororities, clubs and out-of-hours groups, and Sapnap just brushed them aside to set his backpack on the table. He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket and set it beside his bag.

It wasn't cold in the library, but with his laptop keeping his hands busy he could feel the chill creeping in, and it made sense – old buildings like the library tended to be a lot cooler than outside, but since it wasn't cold anyway, the staff hadn't turned the heating on. His jacket, one worn down in the elbows and greyed where his shoulder straps rubbed it in high school, was one of his oldest possessions, and definitely the oldest he brought with him. It had seen him through things, which he couldn't say about his boots, which damn near gave him blisters when he was walking across the quad. 

Time passed, as it does, and someone pulled a chair out from next to him.

“Hey,” the guy said, and Sapnap glanced up at him, “You’re in my theatre class, right? With Ms Collins?”

Sapnap blinked at him for a moment, taking in the awkward smile and brown hair the guy had, and Sapnap realised that this was the guy in the denim jacket from his class, the one who seemed like an ex-popular kid from high school turned awkward when his support bubble disappeared. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Sapnap answered, “You’re doing ‘ _Heathers’?”_

“Uh-huh,” the guy said, and without asking he sat down, “What part are you going for? Oh, and I’m George, uh, by the way.”

“I’m Sapnap,” he said, “and I’m hoping just to be a stagehand or something. I used to do lights.”

“Oh, sweet, I was going to go for lights, too. You learning the script or something now?”

“Yeah, meeting with someone soon, too. She’s in the costuming department.”

“Jamie?” George asked.

“No, Puffy.”

“Ah, I don't know her. Jamie came up to me and my friend Dream on the first day and introduced herself. Do you think Puffy would know her?”

“I don't see why not, seeing as it's the same department and all.”

“That’s cool. See, this is the thing,” George put a hand on the table between them, his neatly trimmed fingernails contrasting with the various fliers and bits of paper beneath them, “my fraternity invited Dream and I over tomorrow night, apparently they’re having a party or whatever, and they said we could invite whoever we want. I think it’s going to be chill.”

Sapnap raised an eyebrow at him, and while he was trying to go for ‘unamused’ since George had straight up invited himself to his table, he couldn't help the quirk of his mouth with the motion. George fiddled with the lapels on his jacket, and his bag was crushed between his back and the chair, but he didn't seem nervous, necessarily. There wasn't really a way to put it, but it reminded Sapnap of all the weird, nervous girls in his high school, yet George had come across as an ex-popular kid in Sapnap's mind. Maybe he was wrong when he made his assumption. Maybe George was more so a nervous one than a popular one. 

This was college now anyway, and he knew from, like, every teen movie that relating college to high school was a no-go, so he left the subject alone for now. 

“Well,” Sapnap said, “If that’s an invite, the best I can say is ‘maybe’.” 

George seemed disappointed, but he didn't let it show too far though his expression and he just moved on with the conversation.

“It’s in the Wildfire Delta frat house, you know the one on the west edge of campus? Really close to the football field. If you do end up going, I think quite a few people will be there.”

“Really, thanks for the offer but I can't say for sure.”

George still smiled at him slightly, the corner of his mouth turning up and Sapnap could see that it affected how open his eyes were. Genuine, then. Good to know. 

“Well, if you do decide to go, here’s my number.” 

George slid over a piece of paper with a string of numbers on it, already written out neatly in purple ink, of all things. Sapnap picked the paper up, but all he did was slip it into the pocket of his jacket instead of putting it into his phone, and it seemed George got the message. He stood up from the table and tucked the chair back in, and with a smile, he said his goodbyes.

“If you do end up going, hit me up, yeah? It would be cool to get to know everyone on this course a bit more.”

“Sure,” Sapnap said, “I’ll let you know.”

“Alright,” George said and turned his back, “See you around.”

Sapnap didn't say anything as he watched the other man go, instead letting out a slow, shallow breath through his nose as he counted down from twenty. He wasn't the best at meeting people he’d already decided were out to cause trouble for him – call it a survival instinct, if you will – but it was nice of George to take notice and invite him anyway. He just had too many flashbacks to high school, of being invited places out of spite and then being left hanging, to make his own way home and pretend he had a great time. This time he wouldn't need the excuses since he wouldn't be going in the first place. Insulted once, twice shy. 

It was difficult not to carry around the guilt and pain of his past sometimes, even if compared to a lot of people he had it easy. No stressful parents, no workplace accidents of meeting your crush at the burger place, and no instances of getting way too drunk at a party. The insults still stung though.

“Hey,” someone said and threw their bag on the desk. 

Sapnap blinked out of his haze, looking up at Puffy. 

“Oh, hey,” he said.

“Been here long?” She asked, pulling out her sketchbook, “I got a killer sandwich on the way here, so I'm later than I was planning on being. Sorry.”

“It’s cool, don't worry too hard.”

“I got you a soda,” she said, handing him one from her bag.

“Don't worry at all. You just made my week.”

“Damn, okay,” Puffy teased, “I didn't know you were so easy, Sapnap.”

He smirked, cracking open the can of coke to take a sip.

“Don't go spreading that around, I had enough of that elsewhere.”

Puffy nodded, her brown hair bobbing up and down with the movement, and he could see Bad and a guy with blue-black hair enter the library over her shoulder. He waved, and as Puffy turned around to look and wave too, he wondered if he was taking this new personality of his too seriously. No one knew him here. He was everyone, anyone, and no-one at once. 

There was a dangerous kind of freedom chained to the realisation.

It was still warm, but the nights were getting shorter in Montana and Sapnap was wrapped in his blanket, watching Bad figure out his project due in the next week, and watching Puffy sketch up a draft for a couple of costumes. Apparently everyone was expected to produce costumes for the two leads – Veronica and J.D. – and Puffy was working on an adaptation of what she had seen in the 80’s film. It was all lines and scabs of fabric to him though, and Bad’s was a collection of data and attempts to explain it away. Skeppy was on his phone, apparently messaging his dad; it was the first time he had shut up in the past 20 minutes. 

“You shouldn't be so cold, Sappy,” Bad said as he cut around some notes he’d printed, “It’s still September. Not even cold outside. Maybe your circulation is bad.” 

“I’m just not moving,” Sapnap said, “And plus, this is like, my third can of coke tonight. It’s probably the caffeine.”

“Didn't you say you were tired?” Puffy asked, not looking up from the scrap of fabric she was gluing down.

“I’m always tired,” he said and she stuck her tongue out at him. 

“You know what I mean. Maybe if you’re going to stay awake and not go to bed like a weenie we should go to the store just outside campus. I checked their place out yesterday, and it seemed pretty cool.”

“They’ve got a deal on. Three for two on Twizzlers,” Skeppy said, finally looking up from his phone.

He was an odd one, specialising in media management and being unable to get off it, but when Bad had introduced them both, Skeppy had smiled, waved slightly, and spoken freely about anything and everything that was not what work they were trying to do. It was a wonder how Bad had managed to get talking to this guy despite them not being on the same course, and not even on the same floor of the accommodation building. Sapnap suspected that there might have been something else, something more going on between the two of them.

Bad was looking at Skeppy as if he was waiting for him to say something else about the deal, Puffy spoke up before he had the chance to even try. 

“Twizzlers are terrible,” Puffy said with a grimace, “They’re just liquorice pretending to be better than they are.”

“But they’re three for two. What’s better, cheap candy or no candy?”

She tilted her head to the side slightly, as if to say ‘okay, you got me’. 

Sapnap buried his head in his blanket, rubbing at his eyes. It was too early to be like this, too early to be considering what thanksgiving break would be like and how nice it would be to eat torta and pho, and green beans and mashed potatoes when he got back home. It would be pretty nice though, when the trees turned from green to rust and the air smelt of a mixture of smoke and rain. Seattle was a wonderful, evil city, and Sapnap couldn't wait to be back to trailing its suburbs. Montana was pretty cool so far, and the town, Kingston, was cool too, but there was nothing like the charm your home town held, and Sapnap knew he would dream, as he did the night before, of his creaky staircase and attic room. 

Skeppy spoke up though, asking them a question without looking up from whatever was taking his attention on his phone. 

“Hey, are you guys going to that party tomorrow? The one at the Wildfire Delta house?”

“Oh, I heard about that,” Puffy said, “A friend of mine is going, so I figured I’d tag along.”

“Maybe, but I don't have anyone to go with,” Bad put a piece of carefully cut out paper on the floor.

“Come with me,” Skeppy said, “And if Puffy’s there I’m sure she’ll, you’ll, be willing to stick together, yeah?”

“Of course! What about you, Sapnap?”

He startled slightly, blinking away the tiredness which had seeped into him when he wasn't paying attention before looking down at Puffy and the other two. Skeppy was looking at him now, the cord from his hoodie in his mouth, and Bad seemed startled with how hard he came back to reality. 

“Uh,” he said, “Yeah, I’d heard about it. I wasn't planning on going, though.”

“Oh, really? Why? I mean, you don't _have_ to tell us, uhm.” 

Bad was trying to cover for himself without letting Sapnap reply, but thankfully Puffy butted in. She didn't butt in with something useful though.

“Would you drive us then?”

Sapnap blinked at Puffy, confused.

“I don't have a car,” he said, but she was already waving his concern away.

“You can drive my van, I don't mind, but since it’s the other side of campus…” she shrugged with a smile, “It's cool if not though, it’s just, like, if you’re not going you won't be drinking, so then, yeah.”

Sapnap just shrugged. He had his licence with him, and even had a car back home, he just hadn't brought the latter with him, so he nodded and Puffy smiled at him. But then Skeppy spoke up again, putting his phone in the pocket of his jacket and looking around the dorm room. 

“Can we get snacks?” he said, “I know we mentioned going to the store, so, like, do you guys want to?”

Bad nodded without any hesitation, and both Sapnap and Puffy spoke up in agreement.

“Yeah, sure.’

“Alright, yeah.”

Maybe a walk in the warm night would be good to him. It was only just sundown, but Sapnap couldn't help but wonder whether the sights of abandoned streets and leaves in the wind would help him remember or forget the place he’d been for his whole life. Adjusting to college life in Kingston wouldn't be easy, and it would be hard to adjust to a busier town, but this was a new beginning. No one knew him here, no one knew about him being under five foot until he was fourteen, and no one knew about him badly kissing the popular girl behind the bleachers. Everything was behind him, and it scared him.

It scared him a lot. 

Two Am. Hardly the latest hour known to man, but Sapnap felt like a zombie when he first entered the twenty-four-hour general store. He didn't know the name of the place, or at least couldn't read the sign, since the fluorescent light that was supposed to be behind it was broken. Puffy went in first, then Skeppy and Bad, and Sapnap trailed in afterwards while dipping his head, trying not to trip up the metal slider holding the door in place. Bad disappeared down the sub-par snack aisle immediately, smelling out the three for two Twizzlers Skeppy had mentioned earlier like a bloodhound on the hunt. Sapnap blinked in the light of the store, which wasn't really that bright, and took his time to take in his surroundings. 

The store was small, cramped, with white turned grey walls and lights that did their products no favours, but the floors were clean and the person behind the counter seemed more awake than what Sapnap would have been if he was in the same situation. Sapnap took his time wandering over to the fridges at the back of the store. There were some essentials, like notebooks and light bulbs along the aisle, but Sapnap could see the holy grail through the glass of the freezer – the frozen fast food. Along with ice cream and sweet corn, the chicken nuggets called his name. 

He took a second to look at them when he reached the far wall with the fridges and freezers, and he glanced to his left. Mr Ex-popular kid, the one who had been hanging out with George on their first day together, was standing in front of the fridges and debating between which of the three brands of iced coffee to get. Mr Popular, admittedly handsome, six-foot-something and in a leather jacket, the other half to George's duo; Sapnap’s mind supplied it, his instant judgement holding some amount of water so far. The guy’s jeans were rolled up and over the tops of his split patent boots, one of which was untied, but he didn't seem to care. Why would he? It was two in the morning and he was Mr Popular, or ex-popular. He shouldn't have to care, even if he did. 

George had been alright actually, coming across as a bit of a social butterfly and like someone who was trying to maintain the reputation he had before and his mention of being part of a fraternity, or at least associating himself with one, wasn't lost on Sapnap. Their college wasn't ‘one of those’ kinds, but then again, it wasn't necessarily ‘not one of those’ either. 

Some people tended to take their new, self-imposed identity a bit far at times, and Sapnap could only hope that these two he’d seen around wouldn't be the same.

Sapnap went forward to grab a bag of chicken nuggets as Mr Popular perused the drinks selection, and Sapnap could see the can of Monster on one of the shelves, waiting for him to grab it and be done, but he paused, just looking at how he’d need to stand almost next to the guy to grab it, and for a second he considered another option. The can of Monster called his name, however, and he moved quickly. 

Mr Popular was still staring at the drinks, and Sapnap forced himself to look away from him as he grabbed a can of the blue one. It might have been raspberry, plastic or battery acid flavoured for all he knew, but the energy was the important part. 

But the energy, the shock, that he got from Mr Popular was almost the same.

“Oh, hey. You’re in my class.”

Sapnap stopped in his tracks, pausing on the linoleum before turning around with the bag of chicken nuggets and the can of Monster in his hand, and he forced himself to smile slightly at Mr Popular. His nose was straight, which was an odd thing to notice first, but Sapnap wasn't really one to pay attention at all. 

“Uh, yeah. So you are. Or we are. Uhm.”

“I’m Dream,” the guy said, and he put out a hand.

Sapnap shuffled his things so what he was cradling the bag of frozen chicken nuggets like a baby, and he put out his other hand as well to shake. Dream drew his hand back, putting it into the pocket of his leather jacket, and Sapnap finally managed to find a coherent thought. 

“Yeah, I’m Sapnap.”

“Good to see you,” Dream said, thankfully at least a little more competent at conversations than Sapnap, “are you enjoying the course so far?”

“It’s alright, just… getting to grips with the material and all that. I’m not used to there being so many written lighting instructions, you know?”

“Oh are you doing the lighting?”

“Yeah, got the part just yesterday.”

“Yeah, I'm a stagehand, actually. Who knows, we might be working together.”

“Maybe.”

Sapnap shifted where he stood, turning his head slightly to look over his shoulder, and while he could tell Bad and Skeppy were still looking over the snacks as if they were the world's most difficult puzzle, Puffy was looking at him, almost as if she was worried Dream was some big bad monster. He turned back to look at Dream as he spoke up again. 

“I’m going to that party tomorrow at the Wildfire Delta house,” Dream said, but it wasn't a question, “So I guess I’ll see you around, yeah? If not there then at the next rehearsal. It was good to meet you, Sapnap.”

Sapnap stepped aside as Dream made his way to the cash register, and he was glad Dream was already half gone when he said his name, because the shiver definitely wasn't from the fridges and the frozen chicken nuggets. He watched Dream’s back, and as Puffy moved out the way for him to go past, she and Sapnap made eye contact. She raised an eyebrow but he could only shrug. There wasn't any good response to that kind of eyebrow raise. 

No longer Mr Popular, then, but just Dream.

Sapnap didn't see him again when they eventually left the store. 


	2. Chapter 2

Sapnap spent the first half of his Friday in waiting.

He had waited for his alarm clock to go off after he’d already been woken up by Bad going to class. He had waited for the hot water to boil for his noodles, and had waited for the elevator leading to Puffy’s floor in her building, waiting for someone to call him out and say he wasn't supposed to be in the Alpine Alpha Sorority building, but no one did. 

And, to be honest, he was sick of waiting for things to happen. People had said college would be better, that he’d have more autonomy and be able to make his own decisions, and, yeah, Sapnap decided that making his own decisions would be pretty nice for once. 

“You know, Puffy, I might go to the party after all,” Sapnap said, his leg dangling off her bed. 

Puffy looked over to him in surprise, her hair curlers letting off some steam as she pulled the brown strands this way and that, but she quickly turned back to the mirror when she realised that piece was done. 

Her room was almost the same as his and Bad’s, the only real difference being the sheets on the bed and the en-suite off to the side. She and her roommate Niki paid slightly more for their accommodation, but it wasn't a significant upgrade. They still had to share a room for starters, not to mention a kitchen with everyone else, and Niki was ultimately a stranger. She was specialising in psychology, given the posters all over the walls and the calendar on her side of the room with certain classes written on it, but Sapnap couldn't tell who the Sci-Fi posters belonged to. Puffy’s bed had her onesie thrown over it, one that looked like a sheep, but she hadn't moved it before Sapnap declared he was lying down, so it might have been his sheep hoodie now. Whoever lies, rules. 

The lampshade had a scarf thrown over it – purple, magenta and pink. It also had a keychain with a fox hanging off it, but he suspected that wasn't supposed to be there since it was hidden near the bulb. 

“Okay,” she said, looking in the mirror again, “What changed your mind?”

He looked over at her, and through the mirror she glanced at him. She looked sort of ridiculous with her hands all over the place like that, but he had already seen the finished product once, not to mention the frizzy mess that was the starting point, so it was worth it. 

“I just… meet new people, you know?”

She paused for a moment before saying slowly, “Uh-huh…”

It was a nod for him to continue, and almost as if he had to, he did. 

“Just… Yeah, and I’ve not had, like, the ‘college experience’ yet, and going to a party for the first time seems like, the _thing,_ if you get me? Besides, I won't be drinking, I can still drive you there and back and whatever, it’ll be chill. So long as you guys are willing to leave before, I don't know, two.”

“Yeah, yeah of course,” she said, putting the hair curlers down and flicking off the switch at the wall, “we have that thing tomorrow, the, what’s it. The library session.” 

“Or just a work session, so… yeah.” 

“Yeah, that’s fine. Just don't, like, get totally drunk so that we all have to walk home and then I have to go pick up the van tomorrow.” 

“Of course.”

“And Sapnap,” she said, turning around to look at him, and he leant up on the bed.

There was an unexpected tense moment between them, where Puffy was looking at him with as much of a serious face as she could muster and with Sapnap trying to keep his head upright without compromising his comfy position on her bed. After a few seconds, she laughed slightly.

“Don't fuck anyone in my van.”

Sapnap laughed too.

“As if Bad and Skeppy won't already be doing that by the time I bring anyone back.”

“As if I’m not planning on doing the same thing,” she said and stood up, “Do you even have anything to wear? You’re in jeans and a hoodie.”

He looked down at himself and then back to her. She was wearing jeans too, although admittedly quite nice ones, and a maroon top with a V-neck. 

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” he asked, “I’m comfortable.”

“There’s literally a ketchup stain where your nipple should be.”

Sapnap looked down at himself, again refusing to sit up, and Puffy just sighed as she went over to her dresser near to the bed. There wasn't a stain that he could see, he realised, and lay back down with a sigh, but before he could close his eyes a piece of fabric was trying to suffocate him. He sat up, ripping it off his face.

“That might fit you,” she said, walking back to her mirror to tie her hair, “and if you're, I don't know, self-conscious you can go into the bathroom.”

Sapnap looked at the shirt, then at Puffy.

“This is a blouse,” he said.

“It’s not. Besides, it’s better than your third-nipple hoodie.”

“My hoodie is cool.”

“It’s literally got your high school basketball team on it,” she said, pinning up a curl, “now please, at least try it on, and if you hate it, tell me it doesn't fit or something.”

“I hate it,” he said, but he was pulling off the hoodie without leaving the bed. Puffy held a hair tie between her teeth as she worked on her hair, but Sapnap wasn't looking at her, instead looking at the wine-red button down she had presented him with. It looked like something a boyfriend of hers may have owned in the past, but Sapnap just shrugged and put it on, taking the time to undo the cuffs and roll the sleeves up, and then to button it up part way. He intentionally messed with the collar of it a bit, moving the edge of one so that it pointed upwards instead of lay flat just to be a bit annoying. 

Puffy didn't say anything when she turned back to him though, and she just put a hand to her chin and looked at him sitting on the bed for a second. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“You know, I was right to steal that from my grandad’s house. It suits you.”

“You stole this from your grandad?” Sapnap asked, looking at her, “Won't he miss it?”

“Oh no, he’s dead. Anyway, it suits you. You should wear that instead of the third-nipple hoodie, and,” she moved over to the hoodie, picking it up, and she threw it into her laundry basket. 

Sapnap didn't comment, but as she grabbed a bottle of perfume she turned back to him to continue.

“Isn't that much nicer? All you need is something to cover up the third-nipple hoodie stench and you’ll be all good.”

Sapnap put his arms out either side of him, looking at her without an expression on his face. She held up the bottle of perfume.

“Go for it.”

Wow, he hated this.

The music was too loud, the people were too drunk, the weed smell was too strong and Sapnap’s drink was too weak. He wasn't supposed to be getting drunk or high or even get talking to someone in _that_ kind of way, because he was the designated driver, but Puffy had pulled a face when he mentioned crashing in her van until they were done. 

Puppy eyes were not limited to puppies, it seemed.

He could smell Puffy’s, his, stale perfume on him as he walked away from the two-sided, three-person conversation he was having with Bad and Skeppy, and the drinks table looked promising, aside from the jungle juice in the plastic mixing bowl at the centre of the table. He just grabbed one of the unopened cartons of cranberry juice, pulling back the foil and pouring it into his already claimed red cup, before he reached over to the vodka. Two or three drinks wouldn't affect his ability to drive, and besides, it wasn't like Puffy, Bad or Skeppy were planning on leaving at that very moment, anyway. 

The house was loud, dark, and he could feel his shoes sticking to the floor as he adjusted the bottle of vodka in one hand. It was sticky, too, like someone had spilt the orange juice but hadn't bothered finding the kitchen so that they could fix it, but Sapnap just poured it anyway. He wouldn’t be caught dead here in the day, and it was fortunate that I was dark now. No one knew him, and he was so, _so_ glad for that fact.

The building had people in every corner, talking, dancing, singing, crying, being ill or generally too drunk, or even too high, and Sapnap just tried to focus on the end goal, of appearing like someone who wasn't a total shut in and had some semblance of a social life outside of his roommate and someone he met on his course. He looked up and around, but his vision swam. It wasn't the vodka, at least not yet, but he wasn't planning on getting that far. 

Someone was a bit too close to his back for comfort, but just as he put down the bottle of vodka he recognised what he was seeing. 

“Hey!” George yelled over the music, all smiles, “You came!”

Sapnap nodded, smiling back but hiding it with his cup. 

“Yep,” he said, “Last minute. I changed my mind.”

“That’s cool. You with someone?”

Sapnap looked back to Bad and Skeppy, then to George and shrugged. George seemed to get the message and shrugged back with a smile. Sapnap slid around the table so that he was standing right beside George, who was wearing an unbuttoned blue flannel shirt with a black T-shirt underneath. Sapnap’s mouth felt dry, which was probably just the cranberry juice, but he took another drink as George spoke up. 

“You settling in alright?”

“Yeah,” he said as a bass-y song came on, and he repeated it louder. “And you?”

“Yeah, getting a hang of things. What are you up to tomorrow?”

“Chillin’, you know how it is,” Sapnap said it, and then realised something.

“Hey,” he said to get George looking at him, “I met Dream.”

George leaned back slightly, blinking at Sapnap, but he only asked, “What?”

“I said, I met Dream.”

“Oh!” George said, seemingly surprised, “Oh, he didn't say. Did you guys chat?”

The bass in the song paused, but people’s voices swam into the space just as easily as it had left, and Sapnap leaned closer to George so that the other man could actually hear him clearly. He could feel George’s breath near his ear, but the phantom wind of it had no sound as another song picked up. He hardly recognised it, being churned up by the cheap speakers, but he was fairly certain it was ‘Pumped Up Kicks’. 

“Yeah, he asked me how everything was going. He mentioned he would be here, actually. Have you seen him?”

“Yeah, yeah. Uhm,” George seemed to pause for a second, and Sapnap pulled his head back so that he could actually see the other man. 

His eyes were looking elsewhere, however, further into the house. Sapnap tried to see where George was looking, but the swaying bodies and red cups, along with the smells, the music, the sour taste of the cranberries in his mouth all distracted him from whatever George was seeing. George turned back to look at him, and Sapnap could see the forced smile on his face. 

“I don't know where he is now,” George yelled, “I’ll go find him, see if he wants to talk, okay?”

“Okay.”

But George didn't wait to hear Sapnap say it, too busy disappearing into the mass of bodies in the frat house to listen. Sapnap watched him go, and after blinking, there was no more blue flannel to see. He shuffled on his feet, taking another sip of his drink, and went to find Puffy. Bad and Skeppy were still too busy with one another to notice him missing, and he went to the stairs at the side of the house, taking his time to squeeze past people, and he saw her curls of brown hair at the top, talking to Niki. Really he saw Niki’s pink hair before Puffy’s, but when she saw him she waved. 

“Hey!” she said, and Niki smiled at him, “what's up?”

“Just hanging out,” he said over the music, “what about you two?”

“Getting bored,” Niki said, looking off to the side, “I’ve seen, like, two people throw up so far. It’s gross.”

“Yeah, it’s not great here,” Puffy said, but she still smiled at him, “You wanna stay for a bit longer?”

Sapnap shook his head. 

“God, no. Someone’s here that I don't want to see and I didn't realise it.”

It was a cheap excuse, a lie that Puffy seemed to see through immediately as she raised an eyebrow as she took a sip of her drink, and as she lowered her own cup she asked.

“Making enemies already?”

“You know it. Can we get Bad and go? What time is it, anyway?”

“About one, I think. We’ve been here a while, to be honest.”

Puffy was finishing her drink as Niki said it, and she put her empty red cup on the banister without caring if it fell off and onto the people below. Niki just put hers down on the floor, and Sapnap took his with him as they went to retrieve Bad and Skeppy from downstairs. They weren’t in one another's mouths again, thank god, and Puffy dug her nails into Bad’s arm as he reached for another drink. Skeppy just followed where Bad went without questioning it, and a few moments later, they were outside. Sapnap threw the rest of his drink into the bush outside the house, and maybe a little on top of the person laying on the grass, but they didn't wake up. It was fine, they’d just have a bit of cranberry to contend with, it wasn't like it was the end of the world or anything. 

“You sure you’re good to drive?” Puffy asked as she poured Bad into the back of the van, and she almost closed the door on Skeppy as he crawled in after him, “You had a couple of drinks in there.”

“I don't feel drunk,” Sapnap said with a wave, “and besides, I only had two. It’s across campus, not across the country.”

Puffy rolled her eyes but didn't comment. 

They dropped off Bad and Skeppy first, the latter of whom actually lived on the floor below Bad and Sapnap, but he followed Sapnap into his room when he dragged in Bad. He didn’t wait to watch Skeppy climb into Bad’s bed with him (fully clothed, he might add), hearing the two of them giggle uncontrollably. Then he drove the van over to the accommodation building Puffy and Niki were staying in. 

“Yeah, there should be a spot down the road,” she said, “There’s a bunch of parking spaces for the college, you know where we picked the van up?”

“Uh-huh,” Sapnap said, “I’ll give the keys back to you tomorrow, okay? Don't wait around for me.”

“Alright, don't do anything stupid though,” she teased, leaning back out of the window. Niki was waiting behind her, her arms crossed as she looked up the road and she didn't comment on Puffy’s protectiveness of the vehicle. Sapnap just waved at them as he turned it around, and they went inside before he disappeared down the road. 

It was a short drive, only taking a couple of minutes or so before he saw a spot along the pavement and began the terrifying parallel parking that he’d perfected at high school. It wasn't terrifying because he had to do it, it was just terrifying doing it in a van he’d never really driven before. Taking a breath, he sighed to himself and put the van into reverse, looking at his own eyes in the rear-view mirror out of habit, since it was impossible to see through the rear window, before he edged it backwards. 

That… thunk wasn't supposed to be there. 

Sapnap made a noise like a dying dog as he pulled his seatbelt off, and he ripped the van’s door open to get out onto the street. 

“Oh god!” he yelled, “Oh, you, oh my god. Are you okay?”

Dream held his head, blinking up at Sapnap as he pushed himself up from the asphalt.

“Oh, oh. Uh, I think I hit my head,” Dream was talking quickly, “but I don't know if it was the floor or the van – “

“I don't think it matters,” Sapnap said, hissing in worry at the nasty scrape on Dream’s forehead, “oh Jesus. You might have a concussion.”

“Can you drive me to the hospital?” Dream asked, looking up at him, and Sapnap gave him his hand. 

Dream stumbled to his feet. Sapnap guided him around the side of the van so that he was in the passenger seat, his head leaning against the car seat. He was coherent enough that he put the seatbelt on by himself, and even though he seemed fine, aside from the developing bruise on his head, Sapnap’s worries didn't cease. His hands flexed on the steering wheel, looking out the windscreen as if it would answer the problem, but all he saw was the car parked in front of him.

“Okay,” Sapnap said with his teeth pressed together, “here’s the deal. I don't feel drunk, but I was at that party at the Wildfire Delta house, and I had like, three vodka-cranberries in there. So, you could have a concussion, and if we go to the hospital I could get a DUI, and this isn't even my van.” 

Sapnap took a breath through his teeth as Dream looked over to him, his head still bleeding very slightly from the bump. He went into the glovebox for Dream, going through the spare pairs of gloves and old receipts until he found a packet of tissues which he handed to Dream. The other man looked at him, half his face obscured with his arm touching the wound, but just as Sapnap thought the guy was going to punch him, Dream smiled.

“Neat excuse for me to spend time with you,” he said, “just make sure I don't pass out and we’re good.”

“Okay, well,” Sapnap watched as Dream took off his seatbelt, and feeling foolish, he pulled his hands from the steering wheel, “Do you want to lie down? This is my friend’s van, or, well, it belongs to someone I know. I’m sure she won't mind if we crash here.”

“Did she leave you with the keys?”

“Uh-huh. She just wants them back tomorrow.”

“That’s nice of her,” Dream said, leaning his head back on the seat, “And you’re sure she won't mind? If I go in the back, I mean?”

“I’m not sure, but she’s not here now,” Sapnap said, “So long as you don't get blood on the mattress or something, I don't think she’ll even know. I don’t plan… well, if you don’t need to go to the hospital then I don’t plan on telling _anyone_ , thanks.”

Dream seemed to consider it for a second before he shrugged and crawled into the back. Sapnap watched him go, settling into the sheets and on the mattress with little care about whose bed it was or who might have been there before. Sapnap remembered Bad and Skeppy being there earlier, curled up with one another as if nothing could pull them apart, and decided against telling Dream that. Instead he undid his own seatbelt and crawled into the back of the van as well, sitting against one of the metal walls and looking down at Dream. His head seemed to have stopped bleeding, the scrape only being light, but it looked like it would still bruise a heavy purple before the night was over. 

“So,” Dream said, “Drinking and driving, huh?”

“Shut up,” he said, “it’s not like you can talk, Mr ‘I’ll walk behind this moving van’.”

“I didn't see you,” Dream laughed slightly, “I don't make habits out of stuff like that, I promise.”

“You better not.”

Sapnap and Dream stayed in silence for a while, the distant sounds of people outside coming through the doors of the van, but with the keys still in his pocket, Sapnap knew they wouldn't be disturbed by any passers-by. 

“What brought you to the party?” Dream asked.

“Huh?”

“I thought you weren’t going?”

“Who said?”

“Never mind, I might have misheard.”

“No, no, I mentioned to this guy, George,” Sapnap said, “he invited me, or, at least told me it was going on. Do you and him talk?”

“Yeah, we do.”

Dream closed his eyes for a second, but just as Sapnap was going to make sure he wasn't falling asleep, they opened again and looked over at him. With Dream’s hand behind his head and one of his legs propped up with the knee in the air, Sapnap watched Dream’s dark eyes (it might have just been the light, really) track over his body and around the roof of the van. There was a set of fairy lights across the ridges, turned off, but Sapnap got the impression that if they were on it would make everything feel more real. The three vodka-cranberries that he hadn't felt earlier were in his system now, and while he still wasn't drunk, the loose-limbed feeling of it was affecting him. This might have been occurring in his sleep, and he’d wake up tomorrow without any of this happening.

But it was, unfortunately, real. He could feel the texture of his denim jeans, and he hadn’t realised how cold it got at night.

“What’s he like?” Sapnap asked, for lack of anything better to say. 

Dream blinked slowly, almost like a cat. His blonde hair fanned out behind his head, some of it stuck to his face a little bit, but the careless, or rather, carefree look wasn't lost on Sapnap.

“I don't want to talk about him, I’m more interested in you,” Dream told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is already written, and chapters 4 through 5 are planned out. I have a question though;
> 
> Would you prefer this story stay with a T rating, or would you be okay with a potentially NSFW chapter later on, changing the rating to E? I understand many people in this fandom are quite young, and that they wouldn't (or shouldn't) read it with an E rating, but since this is an 'adult-ish' story I thought it might be fitting for something like that to happen. 
> 
> As usual, please let me know what you think! I've loved the feedback so far, and I'd be interested to hear what you think :)
> 
> (in addition, and some exciting news, this chapter puts me at over 500,000 words of fanfiction on ao3!)


	3. Chapter 3

Sapnap paused for a long time before even attempting to answer Dream’s bombshell, looking down at the other man as he lay in front of him, which, under any other circumstance, might have been considered an invitation. His eyes were heavy lidded, not at all sleepy though, as Dream looked at him he raised the hand that wasn't behind his head and he put it on Sapnap’s leg. 

“Huh?”

“Tell me about yourself, Sapnap,” Dream said to him, “I wanna know you.”

Sapnap looked at Dream for a moment, at his dark eyes, yellow hair and smile like someone who had never heard the word no, and he remembered his initial impression of the man. There were people like this, not just in college or in work places, and Sapnap, unfortunately, knew them. And now he guessed he knew Dream, too, even if it was too early to tell if he was one of  _ those _ people, but the thought of being trapped in a car with him until either Sapnap sobered up or Dream was definitely okay was terrifying. Well, maybe not terrifying, but annoying. Something he wasn't looking forward to. 

“What about me?”

Dream seemed to understand his hesitancy, and his smile fell slightly so that it was less like a cat that had found a cannery and more like someone who was trying to comfort him, and Sapnap hated it. The wind outside was picking up, sounding hollow and loud outside the walls of the van, and Sapnap could see some of the leaves being picked up and thrown about outside. No one was outside, and the music had stopped when he wasn't paying attention.

“Where are you from?” Dream asked. 

“The middle of nowhere,” he dismissed, “You?”

“Much the same, really. What made you come to MSU?”

Sapnap ignored the clique-y use of the college’s acronym and replied, “It accepted me.”

“Did you not apply anywhere else?”

“No, I did, just…” Sapnap trailed off for a moment, debating whether or not he should tell his reason, his  _ real _ reason, to this person who he didn't really know. 

“I got out,” he said, quietly, “I wanted to get out of my town, to somewhere where people couldn't just come up and visit me whenever, and here I am.”

He put his arms up in a shrug as he said it, and Dream nodded slightly as if he understood. It was hard to believe that he really and truly did, but Sapnap could appreciate the act he was putting on regardless of whether or not it was genuine. The amber street lights outside fed into the van as if they were trying to show them off to the world, but they were hiding in the back, sitting and lying down on the mattress just out of sight, and Dream spoke up. His hand was still on Sapnap’s thigh, his thumb rubbing up and down in a way that was supposed to be soothing, he assumed, but all it did was make him twitchy. 

“Huh,” Dream said, nodding like Sapnap had told him something mildly interesting. 

“And you?” Sapnap asked out of curiosity.

“I applied, and this, well, this was one of the places that both George and I got accepted into. I didn't expect him to pick this one, and yet here we both are.”

“There’s that name again,” Sapnap said, glad to have something other than his own past to focus on, “Are you sure you don't want to talk about him?”

“No, I know him. I don't know you.” 

Dream was looking at him again, and Sapnap just sighed. 

“What’s up?” Dream asked him, “Feeling tired?”

“No, you?”

“No.”

“Good. Can I see your eyes?”

“Any time, baby.”

Dream said it with a cat-like grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners and Sapnap had to struggle not to sigh again at the pet name. He was really starting to regret hitting this guy with the van, or even better, regretted not running him over entirely. Dream leaned up on his elbows and Sapnap touched the roof of the van to turn on the light, before he reached down so that he could pry Dream’s eye apart slightly. His pupils were deep, wide in the relative darkness that still lingered in the van, even with the lights on, and Sapnap could feel the other man’s breath slide down the sleeve of the maroon shirt Puffy had lent him. He felt absurd, almost, with how the evening had unfolded, but still he looked into Dream’s eye, then into his other one, and the man’s closed mouth pressed against his wrist. 

“How do you feel?”

“My heart’s beating really fast and I can't take my eyes off you,” Dream told him, and Sapnap moved on.

“No dizziness? Or a headache or anything?”

“No, but you’re giving me heartache with the way you’re looking at me.”

Sapnap let Dream’s face go, and the other man fell back onto the mattress with a light chuckle, his eyes still half-lidded and dopey, and Sapnap crossed his arms. The wind kicked around some stray leaves like an angry child, but the autumn wasn't far enough along for it to do much more than reshuffle the few that were there. A couple of leaves fell from the trees that lined the street, their shadows looking like snow through the windscreen of the van, and Sapnap reached up to turn off the light. Dream’s eyes were on him still, and now that Sapnap knew they were green the memory wouldn't leave him alone. 

“Are you cold?” Dream asked quietly, like, ugh, there was a  _ moment _ or something.

“No.”

“Your wrist felt cold.”

“I’m fine.”

“Here,” Dream said, already taking off his leather jacket, “Put this on.”

“I’m  _ fine.” _

Even with Sapnap’s refusal, Dream balled up the jacket and handed it to him, but when Sapnap didn't make any movement to take it from him Dream threw it at him instead. Instinctively, Sapnap put his hands out to catch it, and what do you know, it was his now. 

“Put it on,” Dream said, and his bare arms looked almost as pale as snow, “I’ve got this neat blanket that I’m not supposed to get blood on, but you’ve still got your party shirt on.”

Sapnap rolled his eyes, stating, “it’s not even  _ my _ shirt.”

“Your boyfriends? Or, or girlfriends?”

He ignored the way he said it as he put it on, gripping the maroon sleeves to stop it from riding up underneath the jacket, and once he had both of them safely inside he put his arms back into his lap, looking down at Dream again.

“You’re annoying,” Sapnap told him.

“I know. Whose shirt is it?”

“Puffy’s, she leant it to me.”

“This ‘Puffy’ friend of yours seems like a real keeper.”

“I’m not into her,” Sapnap said, “and besides, she literally told me she stole it from her grandad’s house.”

“You’re in an old man’s shirt,” Dream laughed, his face getting close to Sapnap’s leg, “Now I know your dressing secrets.”

“Ha ha. Whatever,” he said, looking away.

Sapnap shivered, but he wasn't entirely sure if it was from the temperature in the van. The air  _ was _ colder than the night before, although it wasn't enough to make him feel it in his fingers and toes, but he suspected that it wasn't to do with anything outside the van. He wanted to be in bed, sleeping off the alcohol with nothing on his mind, and yet here he was, babysitting Mr Ex-popular himself who was concussed, out of his mind, and looking at him like he was the prettiest girl at prom He recognised the look, unfortunately, from far too many incidents in school. He had been looking forward to replacing those memories with better ones, but here he was. Who had told him this was better? He wanted to have a word with them personally, if possible. 

It was still too early to tell if it  _ was _ actually better though, and it seemed like he just had a bad hand at it so far. 

Dream was looking at him from beneath his lashes, and Sapnap had to press his chin to his chest to actually see what the other man was doing. This was college, and he had been drinking, and this guy was obviously flirting with him. There were a million and one horrible things that could happen in any other situation and Sapnap had heard the horror stories, but he just waited to see what Dream would say.

“You look good in that,” Dream ended up saying, quietly.

“Why?” he scoffed, “Because it’s leather?”

“No, because it’s mine.”

Sapnap didn't say anything in response to the lie. He looked out the window but didn't register what he was seeing, and the green, digital clock in the dashboard read that it was almost four in the morning. He blinked, and the clock didn't change. 

“Can I kiss you?” Dream asked, his hand still loosely gripping Sapnap’s leg, and he jerked. 

“What the fuck?” he said, “No!” 

Dream didn't say anything again, for a moment, and as Sapnap kept an eye on him he moved his face away from his leg. Dream’s eyelashes were long and orange, defined in the light of the streetlight outside, and Sapnap could see the slight discolouration on his skin where freckles, or maybe sunspots, waited just beneath the surface of his skin. His hair was wavy, almost loosely curled in the way a hairdresser might call ‘beach waves’ and if Dream was from California, he wouldn't be surprised. Not everyone could be so lucky. 

The other man turned his head and pressed his lips to Sapnap’s clothed knee.

“What the fuck?” Sapnap repeated, “What. The. Fuck.”

“Did you say no because you hate me?” Dream asked, pouting like an idiot.

“No, it’s because you’re potentially concussed and I’ve had something to drink.”

“You said you don't feel drunk.”

“I don't, but you’re still trying stuff that you really, _ really _ , shouldn't be.”

“Sorry.”

“I hate you,” he spat, drawing his knees back.

“Sorry.”

Dream said it in exactly the same tone as someone who was definitely not sorry, the same tone as a bunch of ‘sorry’s he’d heard before. Sapnap huffed, inching away from Dream and towards the backdoor of the van, and the other man didn't move. The leather jacket, the fucking leather jacket, squeaked with the movement and the van rocked like a boat on a wild sea, but Sapnap still moved and tried not to look at the body stretched out before him. It was like god, Zeus, whoever had decided that he, yes he, was going to be dealing with this shit today and Sapnap did  _ not _ have the time for it.

“How are you feeling?” Sapnap asked after a long moment, hoping the answer was ‘great thanks, I’ll be on my way’. 

“You asked me this earlier.”

“I know, I was hoping something had changed though.”

“Like what?”

“Like you feel fine? Like you had a text and someone else is willing to babysit you?” Like he was willing to drop everything and walk out into the night, never to be seen again? Like he was going to vaporise into mist? 

“Aw, I thought we were having a great time.”

Dream said it with a sickening, recognisable grin. Sapnap buried his face in his arms, his knees still pressed up as close to his chest as they would go, but Dream lay around the van like he owned the place.

“I hate you,” Sapnap muttered, and he wished Dream knew how deeply that ran.

“I know, baby. I know.”

Maybe it wasn't hatred. Maybe it was jealousy, envy, or any other synonym of the word. Maybe he knew Dream’s type, or maybe he could imagine it so well after years of experience, and maybe he was sick of seeing it. He hadn't met Dream, not properly at least, until now, and his initial assessment seemed to be correct. Sapnap just wished they were the insults he knew well and could deal with rather than this false hope he kept falling for. A new breed of insult.  _ God. _

Dream’s head was rolling from side to side as if he was trying to see where Sapnap had gone, but Sapnap just kept his knees to his chest and watched him, not speaking up for a minute or two as Dream oriented himself (or at least he assumed that was what he was doing). 

“Can we walk to my dorm?” Dream asked, “It’s, I don't know, like ten minutes from here. I think things are getting a little heated in here, don't you?”

Sapnap clenched his jaw and struggled not to snap at Dream who, by all accounts, was pretending he hadn't just implied what he was thinking he implied. He squeezed his eyes shut too, hard enough that the little pinpricks and dots of whatever it was swam in front of his vision like clouds across the sky. A walk might do him good, but walking with Dream? A nightmare, pun unintended. 

He wished, wished, wished he hadn't agreed to go to the party. He wished he hadn't talked to George in the library, and he wished Dream hadn't talked to him in the store. He wished he hadn't roomed with Bad, chosen theatre as his major and he wished he hadn't gone to college at all, because if he hadn't done any of those things then he wouldn't be sitting there in the van, with Dream and the cold.

And he  _ was _ cold. The conversation had drained the life out of him and without the goal of sustaining himself he just wanted to curl up into a ball in bed and disappear for a few hours. Or days. Maybe longer. He was shivering. Dream wasn't looking at him. It was a blessing and a curse that the other man didn't care about the silence, even if Sapnap could tell that he was still awake. He put his hands in his own hair and gripped it, closing his eyes again.

“I’m sorry,” Dream said quietly.

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

Yep. He was freaking out. This was perfect, wonderful maybe, and he would definitely not rather be anywhere else in the world right now. He could still smell his own sweat and Puffy’s decaying perfume on his skin, lingering in the fabric of his shirt and now in Dream’s jacket, and at the memory of him still wearing it he flinched. The situation wasn't even  _ that _ bad, it was just his thousand thoughts a minute making it so, and he cringed at the thought of Dream remembering this in the morning. 

Just breathing through everything that swam around his head, Sapnap didn't say anything. Unfortunately, Dream did.

“When I was a kid,” Dream said, “I ate a bug and I insisted I had to go home.”

Sapnap didn't say anything. He looked over to the man on the mattress, and he realised he could hear his own breathing. 

“I ate it willingly, and this is gross, I’m sorry, but I just thought of it because I really wanted to go home since it was Spanish class, which is why I ate it. The teacher, Mr Scott, wouldn't let me of course because it was just a fly or something and he saw me pick it up and eat it, but I always remember thinking about how unfair it was, and how much I disliked Mr Scott afterwards because of it. It was like, I don't know, I made a mistake, no, it wasn't even a mistake. It’s like I did something, got embarrassed, and then tried to pin it on someone else.”

Sapnap kept looking at him, his hands still in his hair but not gripping so tightly, and he closed his eyes again. Dream kept talking.

“So, I remember other people in that class remembering it too, but this is the thing, I moved around a lot when I was a kid, and so I didn't meet any of those kids ever again. It makes me wonder what they think of me, or if they even remember me, since I hardly remember their names, aside from Sam, but he was my friend at one point so I guess I would remember him more than the others.”

The wind outside was making a low, intense sound against the sides of the van, and almost like rain, Sapnap could hear the leaves being blown against the windscreen. Their shadows danced.

“There were tonnes of schools I went to, both east and west, north, south, and bang in the middle of the country. I remember when we moved to Canada that I thought it was really cool, because it was  _ Canada _ , you know? It was different, since it wasn't the USA, but then three months later, boom, we were in Pennsylvania. I didn't have a hard time making friends though, that was always one of the small blessings I encountered since I had been pretty open about not taking shit from day one.”

Sapnap took a deep breath, then a few more, and he crossed his arms over his chest to grip his own shoulders. He moved his legs slightly further out, his toes nudging the mattress, and he thought of being back in his room, with Bad no doubt snoring his heart out after he and Niki had dragged him up the stairs. Skeppy had walked, thankfully, but Bad wasn't so helpful. 

“But yeah. I had friends and stuff, but my parents stopped moving around so much when I got into high school, or really they did, but they let me stay with my aunt. She’s pretty cool, is part of a sewing club and she, well, she actually made this shirt for me, actually, There’s a label inside that she made herself, and it says something like, ‘I made this, don't stain it’, which is pretty cool, but I always feel bad for wearing it just, you know, around. But if I don't wear it when I’m doing whatever I’m worried I won't do it at all. How are you feeling now? You were kinda freaking out back there.”

Dream asked the last question without hesitance, and almost out of shock Sapnap looked up at him. In the darkness, the only feature on Dream’s face he could see was the bow-like shape of his mouth, but he didn't doubt that he was looking straight back at him.

“Fine,” he forced himself to say. 

Dream nodded, his hair bouncing along with the movement of his head. 

“Do you want me to walk you back to your accommodation?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

He didn't know why Dream was being so careful all of a sudden, why he cared about how tightly he gripped his shoulders and how much he shook in the wind. There wasn't a logical reason. 

But behind it all, Dream could have done something awful, but he hadn't. He could have said something awful, but he hadn't. Sapnap could have kicked him out at any point in time, but he hadn't. Dream could have called George (even if he mentioned not wanting to talk about him, but that wasn't anything important, right?), or his roommate, or even an ambulance if he felt like he really needed to go to the hospital, and he hadn't. Sapnap hadn't called Puffy, who had already told him he could call in emergencies, and he hadn't walked Dream home. Something was up, and throughout it all, green eyes, invisible, watched him in the night. 

“You’re a creep and I hate you,” Sapnap said, but there was no fight, “so I’ll walk you to your place and you’ll leave me alone, okay?”

“Of course, Sapnap.”

And, oh, he hated how softly Dream said his name. 

Then, movement. 

Sapnap pulled at the lock in the back of the van, the keys still in the pocket of his jeans and he stepped out into the crisp night. He breathed in deep, smelling the long-smouldered bonfires and cigarette smoke of the town, the faint scent of rain in the wind and something he could only describe as ‘wet road’. He held the door open for Dream, who slid out of the van feet first, and he almost smacked his head on the roof as he straightened up. Sapnap put a hand out for him when he wobbled, but Dream stayed upright and gave him a thumbs up when he quirked an eyebrow. 

All of the fight in him was gone when he noticed the thinnest sliver of lighter sky on the horizon. It was hardly noticeable, but it announced the upcoming daybreak better than any crowing cockerel or alarm clock could, and Sapnap could only sigh at the sight of it. Dream, wordlessly, was beginning to make his way up the sidewalk towards where Sapnap assumed his dorm was. Reluctantly he followed along. He had to make sure Dream didn't fall over, even if he did seem like he was doing better than he had been before. While an hour or so had passed since he’d been hit there was still a chance he could keel over and lose his balance. 

The morning was cold, and while Dream didn't comment, the goosebumps on his arms suggested that he must have felt it more than he let on. Autumn really was getting closer, and with it, everything Sapnap was looking forward to. He didn't think about it now though, the tiredness and weariness holding his mood down, and he didn't want to have another episode of listening to Dream’s life as he tried to calm down again. He’d managed to avoid tears of frustration and stress the first time, and it was fine, or maybe even cool. He could deal. 

They turned up to a path that went through a grassy patch, with benches and small maple trees on either side, and Sapnap could see the accommodation block at the end which they were heading towards. It wasn't too far from Sapnap’s own dorms, actually, but the problem was getting there if you were driving. Puffy’s van was good and all, but for getting across campus it was a bit of a pain in the ass. 

Dream finally turned to him as they reached the paved area just outside, a courtyard or something, and even with a bruised head his smile was genuine.

“Thanks for making sure I didn't die,” Dream said, “and for what it’s worth, I really am sorry. I think I was, like, sleep high, you know? I get that it made you uncomfortable and I’m not gonna do it again.”

Sapnap, however, just nodded.

“Make sure you stay awake until you can figure out if you're concussed or not. Do you have a roommate?”

“Yep.”

“Ask him to keep an eye on you, too.”

“You seem to know a lot about this,” Dream said, putting his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and he smiled. He had dimples. 

“My mom’s a nurse,” Sapnap waved off, “Have a good night, Dream.”

“You too, Sapnap. Stay safe.”

He heard Dream scan his card to get into the building as he walked away, and as soon as he heard the latch to it click he let out a deep breath, as if all the air in him had been fighting to get out for the past hour. Sapnap put his head in his hands, standing still in the courtyard and wishing he had just stayed at home, but then he realised something.

“Fuck,” he said, looking down at the leather jacket he was still wearing. 

He turned to look back at the building, but there was no other way inside, and it wasn't like he knew Dream’s room number anyway. With another weary sigh, Sapnap shoved his hands into the pockets of Dream’s (or his now, he guessed) jacket and stalked across campus, wanting nothing more than to take his shoes off and crawl into a deep, dreamless sleep. Pun unintended. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO SHOUTOUT TO THE COOLEST OF DUDES @Sheepfriend for Beta reading this chapter! it was a little muddled and confused, so hopefully that's all sorted now.
> 
> if you're wondering why Sapnap dislikes Dream so much off the bat, well, that'll be revealed in a later chapter ;) 
> 
> Thank you for reading, as always, and please let me know what you think! The next chapter should be out sometime this week
> 
> EDIT: Forgot to say this when I posted it, but in regards to my question with the last update, thank you for all the responses! I've decided that the rating will remain at T for now, but there will be an E rated, and possibly an M rated chapter later on, and the rating of this fic will change when those chapters come out. I'll also include a disclaimer at the top of those chapters that they will be NSFW, but ultimately the rest of this fic will be basically T rated, with the exception of those (potentially) two chapters. From what I've planned, the NSFW content will affect the rest of the fic after that point, but it won't contain explict sexual content after that point. It's looking that chapter 8 or 9 will be nsfw. Again, thank you for the feedback, and I really appreciate everyone's responses :)


	4. Chapter 4

Skeppy was there. 

Sapnap noticed him when Bad was trying really, _really_ hard not to wake him up but failed anyway, and Skeppy was blinking blearily, sitting up in Bad’s bed with the covers pooled in his lap. All three of them were in the same clothes as the night before, and Sapnap felt the red marks in his skin from where the buttons of his shirt and the zipper on the leather jacket had dug into his stomach while he was asleep. Skeppy had the string of his jacket stuck to his face, the other one tucked into the hood. Bad had one shoe on, which he was toeing off as he rummaged through his drawers.

“What?” Sapnap asked, and although his voice was quiet, Bad almost hissed at him.

“Headache,” he said, going through his belongings, “Skeppy, you want one?”

“Uh-huh,” he said, and he pulled the covers over his head, “Ugh, this is the _worst_.”

Bad pulled out the packet of Tylenol and cracked the foil over the top, and with a bottle of water he must have filled from the kitchen, he took them both. He threw the packet on top of Skeppy, and the lump in the blankets didn't move. It was only when Bad picked them back up and pulled the covers back did Skeppy reluctantly sit up again to take a couple of tablets. Bad offered the packet to Sapnap, but he waved his hand to refuse and accepted the bottle of water instead. 

Bad didn't seem to care about sharing his bed with Skeppy, and he only shoved the other man aside as he got back under the sheets, pulling them up. He leant against the headboard, and Sapnap watched him from where he was laying on his stomach on his own bed.

Beneath the curtains, he could see some of the morning sunlight seeping through and onto the wooden floorboards in the room, illuminating the dust in the air and making all the other corners of the room seem darker. The air smelled stale, and Sapnap made a note to open the window later, let some fresh air in, and to maybe invest in an air freshener or something. When winter came, the last thing they’d feel like doing would be to air the room out with the cold air outside. The heater on the far side of the room came on, and Sapnap pressed his face back into his pillow, hearing the clang of the pipes in the wall and the creak of the leather jacket. 

Skeppy was back to sleep when Bad spoke up.

“You came home late,” Bad said, “Did you have trouble parking?”

“No,” Sapnap whispered back, “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“It’s fine. I was hardly awake, really, just enough to notice the light and the time.”

Bad leaned his head back on the wall, his eyes closed and mouth slightly ajar. Sapnap looked over at his clock on the dresser and winced slightly at the time, and remembered the time he had come in last night. He came in at about four-thirty, and it was almost one in the afternoon. He picked up his phone from the bedside table and scrolled through the messages on his home screen, one of which was from Puffy, asking for her keys back before Monday and cancelling the study session they had planned. He had what was left of that day, along with Sunday, to get them back to her. The message had been sent at eleven that morning. 

Sapnap looked over at Bad, and even with the afternoon sun streaming through the bottom of the curtains, he looked rough. Dark circles under his eyes, mouth slightly ajar, and eyes half-lidded. 

“I thought you weren’t drinking?” Sapnap said.

“I thought you weren’t going to either?” Bad looked over to him and raised an eyebrow, and Sapnap turned his face away. 

“I didn't have many.”

“You were driving.”

“And I felt sober,” Sapnap dismissed, “Look, I get that it’s not great or whatever, but it’s happened now and everything’s fine. Besides, that party was shit so I’m probably not going to go to another one.”

“Language.”

Sapnap looked at Bad, actually taking his head off the bed to stare. Bad was looking away, embarrassed, maybe. 

“What?” Sapnap asked, but Bad didn't say anything. “Did you just ‘language’ me?”

“Force of habit.”

“Habit for who? You said you didn't have siblings.”

“I don't, just – “ Bad looked up at the ceiling, and Sapnap could tell the other man’s headache must have been wearing off since he was getting louder, “Ignore that. Sorry.”

It was probably just a repercussion of strict parenting, he realised as Bad ignored his attempt at eye contact. Sapnap watched him for a second, and Skeppy shifted beside Bad so that he wasn't facing the wall anymore, and he threw his arm over the other man’s waist as he settled back into his mid-afternoon sleep. Huffing, Sapnap finally leaned up enough to drink from the bottle of water Bad had handed him earlier, and he shucked off the leather jacket. Bad eyed it as it hit the floor, but Sapnap wasn't paying attention, instead getting up and going over to his dresser to find something more comfortable to wear. Bad turned his eyes away when Sapnap took his shirt off, and a few moments later he came back to his own bed, a soft grey t-shirt and pair of sweatpants on, and got back under the covers. 

“It’s cool,” Sapnap said, “I’ll try not to swear around you.”

“Alright, thank you. Are you going back to sleep?”

“Uh-huh, I’m going to try.”

Bad put his head on the wall again.

“I’ll try not to wake you up.”

“Thanks.”

Sunday.

Arguably the worst day of the week, just because Sapnap used to hate going to church with his aunts and uncles. Now, without the threat of putting on his Sunday best and being ferried to grandma’s house, he felt a bit like his distaste for the day was unwarranted. 

It was a beautiful day, too, with brilliant sun streaming through the occasional cloud, warming the concrete and grass that made up the quad and all the other buildings around campus. Sapnap was walking to the Alpine Alpha Sorority house, the one Puffy and Niki were a part of, and he had both Dream’s leather jacket and Puffy’s keys on his person. Wearing the former, holding the latter in his hand which was shoved into the jacket’s pocket. He wasn't wearing Dream’s jacket because he liked it, it was in case he saw him or George so that he could hand it back and, well, he’d look like a fool if he carried around one jacket while wearing another, and wearing it was just the best way of carrying it anyway. 

He didn't _want_ to be wearing it. It just made sense to. 

Sapnap walked the concrete path beside the science building, his image reflected in the glass wall to his left, but when he turned the corner at the end he saw his goal in sight – the Alpine Alpha sorority building, and to add to that, Niki’s bright pink hair standing outside in front of it. He saw Puffy too, but he had a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn't have noticed them so soon if it wasn't for Niki’s unusual hair choice. Well, maybe he would have, since they were both in their pyjamas despite it being near to noon. 

Puffy noticed him coming across the walkway and smiled at him, and even Niki raised a hand to wave at him, her cigarette between two of her thin fingers. Sapnap came closer, stopping just outside of their circle, as if he was waiting to be invited in. 

“Hey,” Puffy said as Niki raised the cigarette to her mouth again, “Do you have my keys?”

“Safe and sound,” Sapnap said and pulled them out of his pocket to hand them to her, “Did you guys wake up with a hangover yesterday? Hopefully not too bad, if you did.”

“Only a little,” Niki said, before she smiled at him, “you?”

“Not really. Just tiredness, you know?”

Puffy nodded in understanding and put the keys into her pocket. She kept her hands inside the pockets of her onesie, and Sapnap eyed how her hair was long beside her face. She looked like she had gotten out the shower and hadn't used a hair dryer, since it was frizzy at the ends and unruly in places, but it was by no means unpresentable, and she was wearing mascara for some reason. 

“It’s a shame about the party. It could have really been something.”

“Just means we’ll need to get the next one,” Niki said, and she stuck out her tongue.

However, when she looked over at him again she paused. Sapnap tried not to shift under Niki’s gaze, and as Puffy noticed her silence, she looked over at him as well. Something seemed to click within them at once.

“Hey, since when did you get that cool jacket?” Puffy asked, “it suits you.”

“It’s always been mine,” Sapnap said before he could think of another excuse, “just haven't worn it out yet. It’s only been like a week.”

“Yeah, it suits you,” Niki said, and somehow, hearing it from them made him believe it. 

“Thanks,” he said, “But I’m going to go now, okay? What time is your class tomorrow?” 

“Ten until two,” Puffy said with a groan, “I’m not looking forward to it. I’ve already messed up my sleep schedule, which, ugh.”

“Want to meet afterwards? I’ve got something from twelve to two.”

“What is it?”

“ _Foley and Lighting in Classical Theatre_ ,” Sapnap said, making air-quotes with his fingers, “the class last week was boring but we’re doing practical stuff tomorrow, messing with instruments and whatever. It might be better.”

“Hopefully, but yeah. Meet me near the stationary place again?”

“Okay,” Sapnap said, and he raised his hand to wave again, “see you two around.”

“Bye, Sapnap.”

“See you.”

He turned his back and walked off, the new goal of getting a coffee and decomposing under his bedsheets in his mind, and he walked past the science building again with a newfound appreciation for the little coffee hut in the squad. It was always there, always busy, and always with shit coffee that tasted like it was burnt, but at least it was cheap. There were not many places that you could go and spend fifty-eight cents not only to be caffeinated but to also be given some sort of disease in one fell swoop. It helped that the guy behind the counter hated conversation more than he hated the pigeons that hung out on the roof, so it was a bonus for any socially awkward or brain-fried student. 

But when Sapnap made his way into the grassy area of the quad, where two paths ran diagonally across the square with the coffee place in the middle, someone caught his eye. 

George was under a tree, headphones plugged in and the script for ‘ _Heathers_ ’ in his hand. His hair caught some of the sun that trickled through the leaves, and he sat on top of the denim jacket Sapnap had started to associate with him. His legs were crossed at the ankle, one foot bouncing up and down in time with whatever he was listening to, and he blinked slowly through his eyelashes as he read. 

Sapnap’s walking had slowed, but he didn't stop as he made his way to the queue outside the coffee place, and he finally came to a standstill behind the girl with the pink bag over her shoulder. George turned to the next page of the script.

He was maybe only fifteen feet or so away, close enough for Sapnap to see his features clearly, and his heart stopped as George looked up. At him, he thought to add, as the other man waved. 

Sapnap went from foot to foot for a second before he waved back, and then, before George had an opportunity to look back down at the script, Sapnap pointed to the coffee place and mouthed ‘Coffee?’ to which George mouthed, ‘you sure?’, and Sapnap nodded. George nodded too, a grin stretching across his face. He turned back to place his order, or, well, their orders. 

A little while later, he walked across the grass and towards the tree George was leaning against, and as he approached George looked up and smiled at him. He removed one of his pink earbuds and spoke up.

“Hey man, what do I owe you?” he asked, putting the script to one side so that he could accept the drink. 

Sapnap handed it to him gently, keeping his own steady as he sat down.

“Nothing,” he said, and George looked over at him. 

George pulled the lid off his cup to inspect the contents, and Sapnap put some packets of sugar on the grass between them, keeping two to himself and he pulled the lid off his own.

“Are you sure you don't want anything for this?” George asked, putting in one sugar, then two, and then three into the latte.

“Nah, it’s cool.”

“I’ll get you another one next time. What did you get?” 

“Just black. Is a latte cool for you?”

“I usually get a mocha, but this is great. Thank you.”

George said it as he raised the cup of coffee to his lips, and he smiled before he put his lips into the foam for a drink. Sapnap averted his eyes. 

Putting his latte in the grass, George opened his mouth to ask, “Did you see Dream at the party? I tried to find him but I don't think he showed up.”

“No, I only saw him afterwards.”

Sapnap had expected him to say something more on the matter – a comment about Dream’s behaviour, whether it was normal or not, about how Dream had met him at the store the night before, but he didn't know whether to feel relieved or upset. 

“Do you want… do you want to ask me about it?” Sapnap asked, “it was a bit weird, him saying that he was gonna be there and not showing up.”

George seemed to consider it, but ultimately he shook his head, his hair going into his face before he tucked it back behind his ear again. 

“Nah,” he said, “How are you doing?”

But Sapnap wasn't having it.

“What’s going on with you two?” he asked, covering his accusatory tone with a laugh at the end, “I mean, I saw him on Friday night, after the party. He said he didn't want to talk about you, and now you don't want to talk about him.”

George smiled, awkward, and Sapnap cursed at himself internally at making him uncomfortable. 

“It’s not that I don't want to talk about him, it’s that I don't know you, and I’m more interested in figuring you out.”

Sapnap considered this, remembering Dream’s own statement early that Saturday morning. _I’m more interested in you_. Maybe, just maybe, Dream was having the same motivation as George was. 

“And Dream only does that if he really wants to talk about something else,” George said it in a teasing, general way, but it felt targeted at Sapnap’s heart like an arrow, “Whatever he wanted to talk about must have really piqued his interest. Piqued? Peaked? There’s two ways of saying that and I never get it right.”

“I think it’s pee-qu-ee’d.”

George laughed at his horrible pronunciation and said, “yeah, sounds about right.”

“What have you been up to, then? Other than studying and whatever.”

Sapnap pulled at the grass around them, and a piece of it went into his coffee, floating on the surface of it like a boat. He tried to fish it out with his finger but the liquid was too hot, so he let it sit. 

“Trying to get a job, trying to have a social life, trying to stop eating Subway for dinner every night. You?”

“Subway for dinner? Every night?” Sapnap laughed slightly, “George, if you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me, man. I won't make fun of you.”

“Oh, shut up,” George laughed too, “It’s not like it’s unhealthy.”

“Didn't the European Union declare it’s bread cake or something? Because of how much sugar there is in it?”

“Maybe,” George said, “but seriously, what have you been up to?”

Sapnap paused before answering, sighing heavily, and George looked over to him.

“My roommate and someone he knows are already doing the ‘will-they, won't-they’ thing and I hate it.”

“Is that it?”

“No, there’s trying to have a social life, trying to study, and trying not to walk in on them when he’s sent me the ‘he’s come over’ text.”

“It’s been like two weeks since orientation,” George was smiling, having raised an eyebrow, “he must have game.”

“He _doesn't_ though. He’s just awkwardly inviting this guy places and making moon eyes. He only shoots me the text because we agreed to, even if it wasn't for, you know.”

“I get you. Wish I’d set something like that up with my roommate. He’s such a prep, invites people over constantly. He hangs his jumper around his neck and everything.”

“Ugh. What’s your roommate called?”

“Wilbur, majoring in music theory. Yours?”

“He usually goes by Bad. He’s doing computer science.”

“Speaking of game though,” George said as he pulled his legs closer to him, and their knees brushed as he crossed them, “I can see you’ve acquired a new wardrobe item.”

Sapnap furrowed his brows, then he looked down at himself. 

Right. Yeah. He blushed and tried not to let it show, but there was only so much he could do about it considering, well, George was smiling at him, properly this time. With teeth. 

“It’s not mine,” Sapnap said, pulling the zipper on the leather jacket down.

“I know, it’s mine and I gave it to Dream. The asshole never gave it back.”

“Here,” Sapnap said as he took it off.

But before he could fully free his sleeves from it, George was reaching forward to pull it back on. His knuckles brushed against Sapnap’s chest first as he drew it in front of him again, and then the edges of his fingers brushed his chin very slightly, before pulling back. He missed the warmth. 

“It suits you,” George said, then added, “which is almost impossible because it suited Dream well, and it almost suits you _better_ , if that’s possible.”

“Is that possible?”

“I think so. You’re here, aren't you?”

Sapnap didn't stop his mind before he blurted, “are you calling me handsome?”

“I was gonna say cute,” George stuck his tongue out at him, which, oh no. 

Oh no, no, no, no. 

This was high school all over again. The popular kid, or ex-popular kid, was going to pretend to love him, and then he was going to pretend to date him, and then he was going to make fun of him behind his back like an asshole but really it was _his fault_ for being such a loser in the first place and – 

“Do you want to hang out with me on Tuesday, maybe? We have that rehearsal on Thursday and I’m not feeling up to speed with this.”

George said it like it was simple, picking up his script and throwing it back down onto the grass to emphasise his point. It snapped Sapnap out of it though, back into reality where the sun was warm and the grass was loamy and soft, and he nodded without thinking about it too hard. The leather jacket was cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and more than three people had said it looked good on him, even with the worn-out band T-shirt beneath it, apparently. 

“Can do,” Sapnap responded eventually, “When and where?”

“We could just go around here? There’s the cafe in the main building, the one that does hot chocolate? I won't lie, I could really go for some hot chocolate when it gets colder, and we’re supposed to be getting more northern-ish winds soon.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Sapnap said, “really good. It’d be good for me to not be in my dorm all the time.”

“With Bad mooning over whoever it is?”

“Yep. I’m surprised you remembered his name, actually.”

“Do you remember mine?”

“Uhh, hmmm, you mentioned the thing around his neck…” he trailed off, putting his hand to his chin, and as he had hoped George grinned, “Donald Duck?” 

And success. George laughed, and Sapnap smiled along with him at the sound of it. It might have been a terrible idea to base his social interaction skills with others on how much he made them laugh but it wasn't like he could help it. It got him through middle school and beyond, helped him keep his job in the summer, and now he was making at least one friend who had some of the same classes as him. So long as George was laughing with him and not at him, and Dream kept his hands to himself, it wouldn't be a problem. 

George being friends with Dream might have been, and Sapnap still having his, George's jacket was definitely one too, but he would work with it. He could, he would, and he should. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter has accidentally become 2k over my word goal. Help. 
> 
> Thanks again for the great comments guys :) someone pointed out that this is the second fic where I've injured Dream for dramatic affect and... yeah :p   
> he deserves it xx


	5. Chapter 5

Monday’s class was boring too, despite what Sapnap had hoped for, and he waited just inside the Theatre and Arts building for Puffy to be done with whatever class she was having. 

Workshop or something, if he remembered correctly, maybe her  _ History of Fashion _ class she’d been forced into taking to get enough credits to pass. Her teacher was known for overrunning and being an asshole when reminded of the time, but it was fine. Sapnap had patience, he was fine standing in the hallway really close to the entrance of the building where anyone could see him, and he was fine with people looking at him, glancing at him, and probably making snap judgements about him as they dripped water from outside all over the floor.

Which was fine. He literally did that same thing, making snap judgements, all the time. It was fine.

The Theatre and Arts building was echoey, even more so than the library, and because of it being newer than a few of the places on campus it was mostly made of concrete and glass, making the blue-grey stained sky outside seep into everything inside the tall windows too. Even with his red jumper beneath his (Dream’s, George’s) leather jacket, he couldn't help but shiver with the knowledge that soon enough he’d be out there getting soaked in the rain, too. 

But just as he was going to take out his phone and send her a fourth message, he spotted her among the crowd. Nothing about her was what he recognised specifically, more so her whole person coming up to him and poking him in the side. 

“Ah! Don't do that,” he said, but she just laughed. 

“You good? You were kinda staring into space there,” she said, “like you were thinking about, I don't know, ham.”

“Ham? Why ham?”

“Just because,” she shrugged, “seems like the kinda thing you’re into.”

“Ham.”

“Yes.”

Sapnap sighed at the sight of her smile, shoving his hands into his pocket with his phone, but he couldn't help but smile slightly in return at her teasing. 

“Guess I’m the ham guy now, huh?”

“Yep. Where do you want to go by the way?”

Sapnap and Puffy both looked out of the window, staring up at the dark sky outside. The downside to his (Dream’s, George’s?) new jacket was that it didn't have a hood or anything, so the rain that poured down from the heavens was going to get him soaked regardless of where they went. There weren't really any good meeting spots in the Arts building other than rooms that they had to book in advance, so their options ensured going outside, one way or another. 

“Do you want to come around to mine?” Sapnap asked, looking over to her, but she just shrugged. 

“Or we can go to mine?” she said, “you certainly made yourself at home when you were last there.”

“The options were to sit on your bed or Niki’s and I figured if she walked in and saw me on her bed she wouldn't be too pleased.”

“I’ve heard a few nightmare stories about male dorms though. I’m not sure I want to get into that.”

“It’s not a frat house.”

“No, but it’s a  _ male only  _ dorm.”

Her point, unfortunately, held water. The building had a party on the first floor the night prior, directly below his and Bad’s room, and while Bad was still too traumatised by his last experience with alcohol to go anywhere near it the bass coming from the floor below was enough to keep them both on their toes. Sapnap was just thankful he hadn't roomed with Skeppy, whose roommate was not only as filthy as a pig but insisted on living like one as well, aside from when he was too immersed in his video games to notice who came and went from the room. He wasn't a bad guy – Sapnap had actually met him on the Sunday when he went to return Skeppy’s shoes, which he had found under his bed for some reason – but he seemed… awkward. Not socially, but just to live around. It didn't help that he had the build of a football player with the nuance of an uncooked carrot. 

Nice enough though. 

Sapnap’s silence spoke volumes to Puffy though, and she decided for him, “How about we grab coffee and head to the library, or we could see if they have Wi-Fi there? You can share my umbrella.”

“Which coffee shop?” he asked, “the one on the quad is closed, they’re doing a deep clean or something.”

“There’s one sort of near this other dorm building, North side of campus? It’s not too far from where you parked my van the other day.”

Sapnap closed his eyes at the memory of that night, but opened them again soon afterwards. It was a horrible, rainy Monday afternoon, and there was no way she meant the same place that he was thinking of. 

“Near to it, you say?”

“Uh-huh. Why? You know which one I mean?”

“No, just… I know the area, I just didn't see it the other night.”

“Oh, huh. They must take in all their tables when they close or something, since Niki said it was fairly obvious. Does that sound good though?” She asked, looking over at him, “if you really want to we can see if any of the rooms here are available.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Should we get going then?”

He and Puffy looked out into the rain, at how it came down straight and interrupted every mirror-puddle on the ground, and how a couple of the puddles were filled with leaves, both orange and green. She seemed to sigh to herself, and while he turned back to look at her, she just kept looking out there.

“Yep. After you.”

The rain hadn't eased by the time they reached the place Puffy had talked about across campus, and contrary to what Puffy had suggested, this one wasn't owned by the college and was actually a diner, just a short walk from the university grounds. They had to walk down a side street to get there, but when they did they could see the main highway leading east to west, and the same road Sapnap’s parents had pulled off of on his first day there. He hadn't seen the diner, which was where Puffy had referred to, and he took in the sight of it. 

It seemed pretty popular with both the local people and with the college students who took the short walk out there, but it definitely seemed like more of a junior or senior hang out than a freshman one, but regardless they made their way over to the front doors which, at least to Sapnap, seemed like the only part of the exterior they cleaned. 

Puffy shook off her umbrella as Sapnap walked through the door, but no one looked up from their pancakes and coffee as they came inside, and he didn't mourn the loss of the cold outside air when they closed the door behind them. The floor was white tile, the countertops black, and the walls were filled with old photographs of the town’s heydays. Someone emerged from the kitchen, of college age and with a neat brown bun, and smiled at them as they came up to the counter. 

“Heya,” she said, “If you two would like to stay you can take a seat and I’ll be right over.”

“Do you guys mind if we do some of our college work in here?” She asked, “If it’s alright, of course.”

The woman pointed to a sign on the wall, with the Wi-Fi password and login details, and smiled, “Go for it. We don't usually get so many people here working in the day though.”

“Alright, thank you,” they said, and made their way over to one of the booths by the window. 

The rain hit the glass in streaks, skidding across the surface and dripping down when the weight got too much to bear. They could clearly see across the parking lot and onto the highway, but since it was quiet, the pine trees behind the crash barriers were the only moving things in the window frame. Coffee, or at least the smell of it, floated through the air as Sapnap and Puffy sat opposite one another, and to him it felt a bit like going back in time. If it wasn't for the phone weighing down the pocket in his jacket and for Puffy getting out her laptop immediately, he might have questioned where he was or if he was dreaming. Leaving home was doing a number on him, it seemed, and he almost had to shake his head to disperse the cotton-wool feeling that had settled inside his brain. 

The woman came over, taking their drink and food orders before leaving again. Sapnap’s coffee, black, made Puffy raise her eyebrow.

“I mean, I get having coffee with pancakes, but  _ black _ coffee? Do you at least have sugar?”

Sapnap just shrugged, retrieving his phone from his pocket with a slight smile on his face before he responded, “Maybe.”

“Disgusting.”

“Says you. You got a breakfast plate instead of the waffles.”

“Yeah? And?”

“I really pegged you for a waffle kinda person.”

Puffy scoffed. “For shame, Sapnap. For shame, making assumptions about me like that.”

“Do you really not like waffles that much?”

“No, I do, but just,” Puffy grimaced slightly, waving her hands side to side as if she had seen the kitchen before coming into the building, and Sapnap raised one of his eyebrows at the display. 

The waitress came over again, dropping off one black coffee and one godless abomination of caramel and whipped cream which, apparently, also had coffee inside it. Puffy, without asking, pushed over the pourer of sugar to him and made a motion with her hands as if to say ‘go ahead’, but Sapnap made no move towards it.

“Seriously?” She asked, but he shook his head.

“Maybe in the second or third one of the day, but the first is here to wake me up, right?”

“It’s two-thirty in the afternoon.”

“And I woke up two and a half hours ago, give or take, so it’s whatever.”

Puffy huffed, shaking her head, and she returned to her laptop to hit the keys a bit too hard and a bit too fast. Sapnap was pulling out his notebook too (he preferred to take notes by hand, even if they were filled with spelling errors and abbreviations) when he looked over to the counter where the waitress was standing, looking through the window into the kitchen and talking with one of the chefs. He couldn't quite hear the conversation, but recognising the body language, it seemed there was a problem or at least a discussion about something happening. 

“What are you working on?” Puffy asked him, not looking up from her typing. 

Sapnap pulled his eyes away from the counter, looking back down at his notes and remembering why he was here at all. 

“Just,” he sighed, “I don't know. There’s plenty I need to do but it’s, like, figuring out what. Everything is important.”

“And the most important?”

“Anything. Everything. I don't know.”

Puffy looked up at him, her long fingers with short fingernails pausing on her keyboard and just resting there, like birds on a telephone wire, ready to move at any moment. She raised an eyebrow, like she was trying to be funny, before asking him a question.

“What’s your usual process when you get stuck?”

“Huh?”

“Like,” she paused to pick up her drink but she didn't sip from it yet, “when you were in high school and had exams and whatever. How did you prioritize what to study?”

“Whatever was closest, honestly.”

“And how did it go?”

“I don't know,” Sapnap looked at the pines out the window, at the rain coming down diagonally and their fine, evergreen leaves waving in the new wind, “I think I got through there more with luck than skill.”

“That’s a mood. I only passed because my girlfriend at the time knew all the techniques for getting me to study,” Puffy said as she put down her drink, “Maybe you just need your motivator.”

“Yeah, but – “

Sapnap was cut off by a waiter, not the same woman who was behind the counter, coming to the table and announcing the plates of food. 

“The full breakfast?” he asked, and Sapnap looked up at him.

“Oh yeah, that’s me,” Puffy moved her laptop as Dream, yes Dream, put down the plate of food, and Sapnap’s blood went cold as the other man looked over to him. 

His head was still bruised, a mottled yellow, green, purple combination that looked to be healing pretty quickly, and he was wearing a red shirt. It didn't suit him, but it matched the rest of the diner, and Sapnap could hardly see it beneath the grease stained apron he was wearing on top of it. 

“And this must be yours,” Dream said, without registering that it was Sapnap, “enjoy!”

“I will!” Puffy said, but Sapnap just watched Dream disappear back into the kitchen, his dumb blonde hair tied up in a pony tail (it seemed too short to be in a bun, thank god) and his jeans too tight. 

But when Sapnap turned back to his food, Puffy was looking at him. It wasn't a good look.

“Checking out the waiter?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” he said, but before he could elaborate, she was talking again. 

“He was cute, maybe you should write your number in his tips or something.”

“ _ No, _ god no. You know how at the party I said that I wanted to leave because I saw someone I knew?”

Sapnap knew it was a lie, but it was a white one, as pure and harmless as anything else that was white. Snow, salt, doves, whatever. Puffy, thankfully, seemed to understand without him needing to elaborate, and her shoulders drew closer to the table as she leaned over to him, almost as if they were sharing a deep secret.

“You know that guy? What was up with him?”

He grimaced, leaning back at Puffy’s question and she seemed to realise something. 

Without him replying, she asked, “Is it that thing?”

“What thing?”

“The thing where you judge people without knowing them properly. Wait,” her eyes widened, “he was the hot guy in the store?”

She framed it like a question, but Sapnap just looked away again, feeling out of place among the people in the diner. There were still plenty of people in there, of various ages and genders, but Sapnap still felt like he was an imposter, a stranger in a way Puffy or anyone else wasn't. He didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent. 

“He was the hot guy,” she said, less as a question and more as an answer, “why do you think he’s weird? Did he say something at the party or something?”

“No, I – I just. I don't know. I get a feeling from him.”

“Disgust? Anger? Hatred? Lust?”

“ _ Not lust,” _ he hurried to say, “no way. Just. Can you keep something quiet for a sec?”

Puffy didn't say anything, but she nodded. 

“I bumped into him when I was driving the van back.”

“You said he was at the party.”

“Yeah, and I bumped into him when I was driving the van back. You know, alone.”

“Wait, wait,” Puffy waved her hands around to get him to stop, “did you bang him?”

“Huh?”

“In my van?”

“What! No.”

“Just checking!” 

She put her arms up defensively, and for a while they didn't say anything to one another. Puffy just scrolled through her laptop and Sapnap ate in silence, occasionally wishing he had got the waffles instead. Bacon and pancakes were pretty good, admittedly, but something about the people further in the diner enjoying theirs made him wish he had ordered that instead. It might have just been the strawberries on top, actually. He made a mental note to check out the store again, to see if it had any fruit or something since his diet recently was… not great. Coffee wasn't exactly a substitute for vitamin C. 

“What happened after you bumped into him, then?” 

Sapnap sighed when Puffy asked the question, but she didn't try and draw it back or change how she said it, and he did, admittedly, feel a little bad for not telling her the whole story straight away. It was obvious that she was dying to know, and the background noise of the rain, wind, and other customers at the diner were not enough to dissuade her questions. 

“I bumped into him with the van. Like… literally.”

“You hit him?”

“He walked behind me when I was trying to park!”

She stared at him, but thankfully, didn't say anything. 

“And I was like, he might have been hurt, but I couldn't drive him since, like I said then, I had a couple of drinks even if I didn't feel drunk – “

“And you were in  _ my  _ van,” she reminded him.

“-Yep, and it was your van. So, I uh, I wanted to make sure he was okay so I took him into the van.”

“Sapnap,” she asked, her voice calm like an anticipation of a storm, “did you have sex with him in my van.”

“No,” he said it a little too loudly, and she leaned back as he said it like she was pleased, but then he continued, “but he gave me this jacket and – “

“The jacket? It’s his, not yours like you said?”

Sapnap nodded.

“He was coming onto you, then.”

Puffy leaned back as she said it, like she knew the answer to whatever situation Sapnap had found himself in even if he hadn't explained it properly yet, and he frowned at her. All she did was raise an eyebrow though, and he had to give it to her, it did seem like an understanding eyebrow. 

“I think we should see if he wants to sit with us,” Puffy said. 

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Sapnap opened his mouth and closed it again. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and he could see one of the pin badges on her jacket was sticking into her arm slightly, which mustn't have been comfortable, but she didn't seem to care about it at all. Puffy just looked at him, her food going cold, and Sapnap took another bite of his pancakes. 

“He might not be going on break soon.”

“But he  _ might _ . Besides, do you really have anything against this guy or did you just assume stuff about him like you did with me, and Bad, and Skeppy, and Niki… and also that other guy – “

“I did, but then he proved me right.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Sapnap closed his lips and grabbed his coffee, immediately wishing he didn't have such a terrible habit of blurting things out without thinking about it, and as his mom always said, it kept getting him into trouble. Puffy’s face became confused, then she paused, and it morphed into realisation.

“Did he hurt you?”

“No, just – “ Sapnap took a breath, he asked if he could kiss me, and I said no, and he kissed me knee, and then I started freaking out – “

“Sapnap, it’s alright,” Puffy reached a hand across the table and put it on his, “Did he hurt you?”

He paused, then said, “No.”

“The pause means…?”

“Okay,” he broke, “look. I knew a guy.”

“Uh-huh.”

“He was an asshole.”

“Right.”

“And he looked like Dream.”

“Dream?”

Sapnap realised his mistake as soon as Puffy said it, and based on the confused look on her face she wouldn't just let it go. 

“His name.”

“This guy you knew before coming here, or the, you know.”

“The dude who works here.”

“Ah.”

Sapnap took a deep breath, looking down at the surface of the table, but he made eye contact with himself in the brown-black liquid of his coffee. It was probably cold at that point, and he pushed it to one side so that he couldn't see into his own eyes, at his own face with his too-long hair and too-round chin. He should probably shave.

“So this guy you knew, was he important at all? Had an impact on you?”

“Yep. I don't want to get too far into it though,” Sapnap said, and thankfully Puffy at least let that part of the conversation.

“I still think it’s too early to call him an asshole though,” she said, taking a sip of her drink before continuing, “and if he was injured he might have been concussed or something, so he might have been really out of it when he was trying to make a move on you. Did he say anything like ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I won't do it again’?” 

Sapnap thought back to the plethora of apologies Dream had given him, coming from his mouth like a waterfall but doing nothing for Sapnap in the moment as he freaked out. They seemed genuine, but that night, or rather morning, felt centuries away in that moment and he couldn't remember if he hadn't accepted them because they were not good enough or if he just couldn't focus on them properly.

“He did.” 

Without asking for him to elaborate, Puffy seemed to calm down a little, breathing out a slow breath and chasing the food around on her plate with a fork. She put it down and looked over to him again, her face serious. 

“If something like that happens again but it’s, you know, more serious or whatever please tell me.”

“Of course. Same for you.”

Puffy nodded, accepting Sapnap’s answer easily, and despite the reassurance that he wasn't necessarily wrong or incorrect to feel that way about Dream instinctively, he couldn't help but linger on the nagging feeling that he acted too quickly, made too many assumptions before he knew the guy. For all he knew, that might have just been Dream’s sense of humour, shitty though it may have been, and he had reacted badly from it by projecting his history onto him unfairly. There was no question in Sapnap’s mind that Dream was different from anyone else he knew in high school, and even with what little he knew about the man, there were some good things about him already. Him being friends with George was a simple indication that he might not have been all bad. 

“Hey,” Sapnap said before he had more than a second to think about it, and Puffy, unfortunately, looked up. He couldn't back out of it now, so he swallowed around the lump that had appeared in his throat and continued. 

“If you see him again, invite him over.”

“Huh?”

“I wanna say sorry, but, like – “

“You’re a coward,” she nodded, “got it.” 

“Sure, we’ll go with that.”

Puffy nodded at him again and they finally returned to their food and coffees, and as Sapnap had expected, his was cold. The pancakes were still the same as before, other than the temperature, and he savoured the salty sweet combination of the bacon and maple syrup to distract himself from the problem he had got himself into. As he swallowed his mouthful, it felt like sand going down his throat; the coffee, strangely, was much the same. 

The woman from earlier, the one who had been behind the counter when they’d arrived in the diner, appeared again and was talking through the window into the kitchen. Sapnap saw Puffy glance over to her, and then their eyes met, but since she was done eating she returned to her laptop without comment. He took the time to move their plates across the diner table, making space for his notebooks. Suddenly, to avoid conversation, the work he needed to do for his  _ Theatre Unions and Ethics _ class seemed very, very appealing. 

And he was able to disappear into his work for a little while. He took the time to handwrite his notes from their scrappy, rough state to their fuller, informative state that was in his neat notebook. The black pen glided across the page, and he took his time in dotting his ‘I’s and crossing his ‘T’s, completing the swoop of each ‘G’ and ‘Y’, and finished each sentence with a punctuation mark. Writing wasn't necessarily his strong suit, but Sapnap could say that with his many years of fucked up handwriting behind him, he liked the finished product just fine. He suspected that when he moved up into the second or third year at university he’d have to start typing them like Puffy was already doing, but as it stood, by hand was his best option. 

But then the plates at the end of their table were being pulled away, and Sapnap refused to look up or towards the end of the table until Puffy spoke up. He felt sick. 

“Hey, this is awkward, but are you Dream?” Puffy asked, and Sapnap found what little willpower he had to turn to the entrance to the booth. 

“I am,” the other man said, but then he saw Sapnap, “Oh, hey.”

He didn't sound awkward, or rude, or ill-meaning, but just a little surprised. Puffy, either ignorant to the atmosphere in the air or ignoring it, continued. 

“Do you want to come sit with us if you’re going to go on break anytime soon? Sapnap said you're on the same course as him.”

“Puffy!”

She glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. Sapnap closed his mouth, but Dream looked between them, his face concerned. 

“Are you sure? Like, both of you?”

Puffy nodded, and without a word, Sapnap did too. Dream didn't seem convinced, but he nodded anyway. 

“The end of my shift is in five. Do you want me to get you guys some more coffee or anything?”

“Can we get the same again?” Puffy asked before Sapnap could say no, and Dream left with a smile and without another word. 

“Fuck,” Sapnap whispered, sinking in his seat, and he could see Puffy’s slight smile before she covered it by drinking the last of her coffee, “Don't laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you,” she said, “but you’re acting like you would if he was, I don't know, your ex or something. Was that what the dude in your high school was?”

“ _ No,” _ Sapnap said too quickly. 

Silence stretched on, but even if the world had been ending, if the windows broke and his skin was bleeding Sapnap wouldn't have been able to hear it. Puffy, wordlessly, motionlessly, watched him. He was an ant alone in a test tube, a rat in a cage, at the mercy of her next action or question. 

“Okay,” she said. 

The rain hit the glass, gentler than before, but the pines across the highway still shook in the wind and ditched their needles everywhere they would stick, including against the diner’s windows. Sapnap refused to look at her, but then Dream came over. 

He was still in the red shirt and jeans that looked a bit too tight, but he had ditched the apron in favour of a denim jacket – George’s denim jacket, as a matter of fact – and he put the three drinks down on the table. The bruise on his forehead was the same as before, but Sapnap tried not to look at it this time, unlike Puffy who seemed to notice it more. Dream slid over the whipped cream, coffee and thirteen pounds of sugar to Puffy, and then the cup of black coffee to Sapnap, before picking up the third in one hand and standing up straight. 

“Do you wanna sit down?” Puffy asked.

She was already moving her bag. Sapnap didn't move his, and Dream slid into the booth diagonally from him. Dream didn't hesitate in getting the conversation over with, which Sapnap both admired and hated him for. 

“What’s up?” he asked. 

“I’m sorry,” Sapnap said immediately, “I freaked out on you, even if what you were doing wasn't, like, awful, and I said I hated you a bunch, but you didn't deserve it.”

Puffy looked between them, but before she could say anything Dream was putting up one hand and tried to wave his worries away.

“It’s cool,” he said, “I was being an asshole too. I shouldn't have kissed your knee or forced my jacket upon you, or anything like that. I think I was just… over tired, maybe feeling dizzy or whatever and then thought it would be funny. But it wasn't.”

“He doesn't mind the jacket,” Puffy said, leaning with one elbow on the table and her hand on her face, “look.”

And Dream did, as if he was noticing for the first time Sapnap was wearing it.

“I’ve been meaning to give it back to you,” Sapnap said, “But you’re only in my stage class. I was gonna give it back to you on Thursday, since I thought, you know, we have that class-”

“So he’s been wearing it around all week, hoping to see you.”

Sapnap put his face in his hands, but Dream just smiled awkwardly. He had dimples to match the freckles, because of course he had, and Puffy laughed at him. 

“You phrased that so weirdly,” Sapnap groaned. 

“It’s true though.”

“Is it?” Dream asked, and Sapnap raised both his head and his hands to shake them from side to side. 

“Not like that!” 

Dream laughed a little then too, pulling the edge of his paper cup awkwardly, and Sapnap looked over his knuckles at Puffy.

“You. Ruining my life already.”

“Someone has to.”

“And here I was, thinking it was already me,” Dream said, but Puffy stuck her tongue out at him.

“So are you two better now? No more long, awkward and meaningful glances?”

“I’m good if you are,” Sapnap said, ignoring the latter half of her sentence.

“I’m good too. Can we keep it up with the meaningful glances though? It’s a real ego boost.”

Sapnap did laugh then, a horrible snort into his hands as he tried to hold it back, and Puffy laughed at him as he tried to hide his face against the table and his arms. Dream was chuckling too, but unlike her it felt more so out of awkwardness and at the situation rather than at Sapnap himself. But then he pulled his head back, and he could see in both the glass of the diner window and the coffee below him that his face was flushed red. He couldn't focus on it too much. Dream’s face was flushed from the laughter too. 

“Alright,” Dream said, “I’m glad we talked but I do need to go. I promised George I was going to call him, so I need to get back and do that. But yeah, good to talk.”

Dream stood up from the table, but before he could grab his bag and walk off, Sapnap was pulling his arms out of the sleeves of the leather jacket. 

“Hang on,” he said, “I’ve been meaning to find you all week and give this to you.”

“No, no,” Dream said, holding up a hand, and Sapnap looked up at him. 

Dream was tall. Taller than him standing, definitely, but even more so when Sapnap was still sitting down. He continued, his face still rosy from his laughter earlier.

“I meant what I said the other day.”

“Huh?” 

Dream raised his coffee cup to his lips as he said it, but Sapnap could still see the way his lips pressed against the rim of it, and more importantly, his very slight smile as he said it. 

“It looks good on you.”

Sapnap eased back into the booth. Without another word, Dream was out of the door and into the rain, taking a turn down the side of the diner and back the way Sapnap and Puffy had walked down earlier. When Dream had disappeared, he turned back around to Puffy and wished he hadn't bothered. 

She looked unimpressed, but the quirk at the corner of her mouth spoke volumes about who or what she was thinking about. Unfortunately, it wasn't anything useful.

“He’s into you.”

“No.”

Sapnap didn't say anything else as he put some sugar into his new coffee, and he grabbed one of the little wooden stirrers to agitate the liquid. His reflection was gone, but Puffy could still see him.

“He is.”

“He is not.”

“Slight quirk of the lips, the acceptance and counter apology, the swoop of his hair – you notice how he untied it at the end of his shift right? So he got the beach waves? – the insistence that you should keep the jacket, the fact that you _ kept the jacket _ – “

“Puffy, he’s not into me. That was literally the third time we talked.”

“Three times is enough for him to say you look good, might I remind you, in  _ his clothes _ .” 

Sapnap scoffed, turning to look out the window. He regretted the next words before he said them, but he said them anyway for the simple pleasure of getting to see the look on her face. 

“He said that I looked good in his jacket the second time, actually.”

She gasped.

“ _ Sapnap! _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter may take a little longer than the rest of these have, since I no longer have a backlog waiting for me to post :p  
> hopefully the fact that this chapter is TWO-THOUSAND WORD LONGER than intended makes up for it.   
> Thanks for reading, and also for helping this work hit 100 kudos and 1000 hits! you guys rock! 
> 
> Let me know what you think! your comments have been brilliant so far, and I love coming back to re-read them, even if I hardly reply.


	6. Chapter 6

The world woke up on Tuesday and apparently it chose to be passive agressive, since the internet in the dorm was out and he hadn't messaged George about what time they wanted to meet up that day.

He’d only remembered the night before, after an eight-hour YouTube binge which started with the original musical production of _Heathers_ and ended on, for some reason, ear wax cleaning videos, that he was going to meet up with George the next day. Naturally, he’d immediately forgotten and went onto videos of carpet deep cleaning instead. But that morning, at the ripe old time of ten am when Bad tipped over Sapnap’s shoes trying to get out the door, he looked at his phone and realised he hadn't. 

So he sent a text, waiting with no internet for about three hours and biding his time by reading the back of his shampoo bottle, before he received a reply. They were meeting at five pm.

The roof of the science building, he’d been told, was windy at the best of times and still at the worst. 

The smell of the fume cupboards inside were noticeable up there when the wind had gone and the sky was clear, smelling of all sorts of things, but mostly the arid and noxious smell of sulphur. George had warned him to bring a blanket, and with his black and white snowflake one folded neatly inside his bag, along with the script to _Heathers_ , he found his way inside and avoided eye contact as much as possible. He didn't need to in the end, since he looked up at just the right time to see George leaning against a wall, his (Dream’s?) blue denim jacket which Sapnap had started to associate with him on his back and his hands in its pockets. Sapnap could feel the leather of his (Dream’s?) jacket on him as well, noticing every movement more now that George knew it wasn't his, but before he could think about taking it off and stuffing it into his bag, leaving him only in his scarf and shirt, the other man looked up at him and waved. 

Sapnap came over without waving back, but George smiled anyway as he came over. 

“Hey,” George said, “how’s it going?”

“Not too bad, you?”

“Yeah, could be better, could be worse. Do you want to go outside?”

“Sure. How do you get up on the roof, anyway?”

George smiled at him, sort of in the same way a cat does when it's pleased about something, and without another word he started leading Sapnap towards one of the staircases at the edge of the building.

The majority of the students must have used the elevators rather than the stairs, since they were almost empty, aside from a few people further up in the building, but they encountered no one as they made their way up the three floors. They reached the final floor, the one Sapnap knew mostly had offices and storage, before they made their way out of the stairwell and onto the floor. Over the tiled floor, and alongside a large window looking over the quad, Sapnap and George made their way to the back of the building. While they saw a couple of people as they went, no one stopped them, and at the end of the hallway George pulled him through a single, windowless door.

It looked to be a janitor's closet, with all of the mop buckets and brooms along the right wall, but right at the very back, disguised by a shelf, was another door. Nothing on the frame indicated that it was alarmed, and George fished out a key from his pocket. 

“How’d you get that?” Sapnap asked, his voice soft as if they were going to get busted at any given moment. 

George shrugged slightly, his shoulder going up and down beneath his denim jacket as he slotted the key into the lock. He twizzled it around slightly as he struggled to get through the double-lock they seemed to have on all the doors around campus, and as he did he spoke up.

“You know my roommate? Wilbur? He got it from someone. I think he and his weird friends come up here to smoke.”

“And he gave it to you?”

George snorted, but as he withdrew the key and turned the handle, the door opened easily. He turned back to look at Sapnap, who was still loitering near the door to the closet and raised an eyebrow. 

“He wouldn't give it to me if I offered him a million dollars. Good thing he’s forgetful, huh? I don’t think even he remembers where he left it. Anyway, are you coming?”

Sapnap stepped forward wordlessly, following George out of the door and onto the flat roof. 

The first thing he noticed was the breeze, filled to the brim with fresh air that reminded him of all the falls of his past. Although it was still September, feeling the wind against his face brought out the redness in his cheeks and woke him up, tussling his hair about like the hand of someone close to him. He blinked in the sunlight, which was interrupted by the occasional fast-moving cloud, and looked out over the expanse of green and yellow that made up not only the campus but the surrounding town. In the distance he saw mountains, high and imposing like buildings of his city back home, but here instead of seeing concrete he only saw their rocky faces and forests littering them like stubble. 

He pulled the scarf he wore further up his neck as he took in the sights of the buildings surrounding them, of his own dorm, which he recognised only for its brick exterior and small windows, then the Arts building, the library, the other dorm which he had escorted Dream to that night and finally the building which disguised the diner behind it. Sapnap blinked rapidly, walking in a tight circle around the entrance to the roof and looking off the two sides which were immediately visible, but before he could remark on the view, he came back to look at George climbing up one of the metal ladders leading to another flat roof. 

Following him, Sapnap clambered up too, unhooking his backpack when it got caught on the raw iron of it, but when he reached the top it was worth it. 

The other side of the town was bathed in gold, the small houses, streets, stores, traffic lights all glowed. Everything it touched made the unremarkable suddenly inhuman, like applying a chrome paint to a normal car, and Sapnap just blinked as a formation of geese flew overhead. 

The air was cold, his lungs could feel its tightness, but the sun was warm. George smiled at him with teeth, and he spread his arms open wide, like he was going to try and fly after the geese and migrate back home. 

For the first time since getting there, his mind whirled and he stayed silent. His eyes watered. His chest hurt. Sapnap thought of a distant poem he read in an old, forgotten English class and wondered if George felt like home. 

“Well?” George yelled over the sound of the wind, which wasn't really that loud, but it was like he was trying to announce to anyone below that they were untouchable, “What do you think?”

Sapnap breathed, smiled, watched George walk around the roof and peer over the railing. 

“Yeah,” he said, almost to himself at first and then louder so that George could hear him, “Yeah! It’s windy, huh?”

“Oh, on the lower part it’s alright,” George was saying as he came back over to Sapnap, and he stopped just a bit too close to him for it to be considered friendly. 

Sapnap couldn't think of anything to say, so he just smiled at George, returning the expression he had been wearing before. He could hear the faintest sounds of traffic, but overwhelmingly it was just the wind and his own heartbeat in his ears, and the emerald mountain line of what Sapnap assumed were the Rocky Mountains in the distance were all he didn’t see. He saw George. On the horizon to his right were plains, outside of the town (Kingston, he kept forgetting this wasn't some nameless backdrop to his own life) and the flat land went on for miles and miles, disappearing into the murky grey-blue line that signalled the end of the perceivable world. 

George walked off when Sapnap looked back at him, and he climbed down the ladder and back onto the lower part of the roof, his feet clanking on each rung. Sapnap followed after a moment, taking in the sight of the middle-distance once more before following. 

“Here,” George said, and pulled out a worn looking rug, or maybe a picnic blanket, from his backpack.   
He laid it down on the concrete surface of the roof, enough of a distance away from the door that they wouldn't immediately be seen should someone come through it, but also near enough that they’d be able to tell if someone did. The AC fans lead out around there too, but given the time of year, they were off and free of excess drips and puddles. George shoved the blanket over the concrete, some of the far corners rolling back in the breeze, but Sapnap pulled off one of his shoes to hold it down. George did the same with the other side. 

“I brought this,” Sapnap said, and pulled out the blanket from his backpack.

“Oh, cool! I brought one too, so do you wanna use yours over our legs and put mine around our shoulders?”

Sapnap opened his mouth, but perhaps selfishly, he thought better of it. The idea of using their own blankets, you know, _separately_ wasn't as appealing after hearing George’s option.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

It took them a second to get comfortable, but eventually George was pressed a little too close to him and held both sides of the blanket in one hand, while Sapnap held his script, annotated in green, out on his knees. George was at an angle, with Sapnap’s upper arm pressed partly against his chest, but it meant that they were both still warm even with the wind going past them. The air smelt a little arid occasionally, mixing noxiously with the freshness of the air, but it was manageable considering the better distraction of George’s hands so close to his chest. 

“-And I think,” George said, “if we were to turn the lighting to a warmer tone here, it might work with, you know…”

“The fact that it’s, like, a funeral?”

“I was thinking more like, you know, sunlight through stained glass.”

“Do you think the director would let us use a stained-glass affect? We’d have to use a filter on the light,” Sapnap said, putting the end of the pen into his mouth.

“Maybe. It would be worth asking.”

Sapnap pulled the pen from his lips and scribbled down a note, and then he put it back between his teeth. George pulled the blanket around them tighter. 

But Sapnap’s mind was elsewhere. Not on the script they were editing to try and make sense for their joint role in the lighting booth, not on George’s body being pressed up against his side, and not on the view in front of them. It was beautiful, or at least two of those things were, but Sapnap still couldn't focus. 

“Hey, uh.” 

George’s head shifted slightly, no doubt trying to look up at him despite their heads being in totally the wrong position to do so. Sapnap drew back a fraction, just enough so that he could actually see where George was, even if he could feel him just fine, and he waited for George to respond.

“Yeah?”

“Like, I feel like a broken record at this point,” Sapnap said, letting the script lie flat against the top of his knees, and he looked away from George in order to find his words.

“Broken or not, music is pretty cool,” George said, pulling the blanket around their shoulders a little more as a breeze flew over the roof, “So what’s up?”

“What are, eh… What’s going on between you and Dream?”

George snorted slightly, “Well, we’re friends…”

“Just friends?”

He could hear the smile in George’s voice before he even asked, “Why? Are you interested in him?”

“No, it’s just… You two seem close enough to mention one another a lot but you don't seem, like, I don't know. I haven’t seen you two in the same room with one another since the first day when you two were laughing at me.”

Sapnap realised his mistake as soon as he said it, but George was quick to soothe the wound.

“We weren’t laughing at you,” George said, “We were just laughing. Besides, Dream and I are friends. We went to the same high school, happened to go to the same college. He was one of the only people who kept talking to me after I had to quit an actual, you know, in-person education.”

“You were home-schooled?” Sapnap asked.

“Yep,” George popped the ‘P’, “I asked if I could be taken out of there for a couple of reasons. Struggling with being bullied, my grandma passed away. It just generally wasn't a good time, but Dream hung out with me almost every day after his classes and gave me all the notes he could. I felt like such a leech.”

“Sounds ideal,” Sapnap said, looking at a cloud moving across the blue sky, “Not the part about, you know, being made fun of or about your grandma. Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Besides, I'm here now, so all that doesn't matter so much anymore.”

“You mean…?”

“Huh?”

“‘All that’, I mean – “

“I didn't enjoy my past, so there’s no point lingering on it, right?” George said, and Sapnap could feel the other man’s shoulder move up and down as he shrugged, “High school didn't matter, not really. I’ve thought about this in the past, but like, if I failed high school then middle school would have really, really mattered, and if I fail here, then high school would really, really matter, but if I pass here, then I don't have to care about either of those things ever again.”

Sapnap waited for a second before nodding, and George continued. 

“It’s like, I don't know. It’s unfortunate that we’re told repeatedly like, ‘this is really important!’ but it’s honestly not so long as we treat it with some respect in the moment and get over it as soon as we’re done.”

“I never thought of it like that,” Sapnap said quietly.

“I know right? I’ve got weird opinions about almost everything. Try me.”

"Barbecue sauce.”

“Good on pizza, nothing else.”

“George, what?”

“What?”

“That’s terrible.”

“Wait I have more,” George said, “Uh, I like when ice cream melts and goes over my hands. I think mermaids have been drawn wrong from day one – no fish has a tail that goes to the side like that, and no aquatic mammal has one that’s see-through at the end – and I think Disney did a good job on Cars 2. The cheese you get in cans is good, actually, and the only bad cars are ones that can't play music tapes. Dream’s hair is too long and mine is perfect, and I think Wednesdays are the best day of the week.”

“You’re so _weird_.”

“Try me,” George said, “tell me some of your weird opinions.” 

Sapnap stopped for a second, looking over the ledge of the roof and out onto the whatever-it-was building on the other side. It looked a bit like offices, but it _had_ to have an academic use too, right?

“I think…” he paused, “I don't get why people have hamsters as pets. They’re just cute but you can't do much with them.”

George nodded against his side but made no comment, allowing him room to continue.

“I don't see why people are scared of spiders, bugs or anything else like that, but I think more people should be afraid of caves. Uhm. Public transport can be both a pain in the ass but kinda romantic - if that makes sense? - at the same time, and the golden hour of morning is way better than the one in the evening. I think the feeling of sinking your hand into rice is one of the greatest feelings ever, but it’s even better when the rice is wet. Mashed potatoes are objectively the best food but only when it’s at, like, this one specific restaurant in my hometown.”

“See? It’s good to have these things,” George said, and for the first time Sapnap looked over to him.

“Hang on, wait,” he said.

“Hmm?”

“You,” Sapnap motioned towards George’s hand, the one not holding the blanket. 

“Want to share?” George asked, holding the unlit blunt up for Sapnap to see, as if it made any difference.

He looked at it, then his gaze flittered over to George and he saw the slight smile on his face. It widened as Sapnap continued to fail at forming a reply, but eventually he seemed to find some mercy within him and he asked Sapnap a different question.

“If you don't want me to, I can put it back. I just, I don't know, you seemed like one of those cooler guys who would be down.”

“I mean,” Sapnap said, kicking his brain back into function, “I am. Down, that is. Not cool. I’ve just, yeah. I haven’t smoked before.”

“Cigarettes or weed?”

“Either.”

“It’s easy,” George said, pulling out his lighter, “You just gotta, you know, put your lips together around the end and suck.”

“Suck?”

“Uh-huh. Or breathe in, if you, well. Never mind.”

George lit the end of it and put his lighter away, rolling the blunt between his thumb and forefinger. Sapnap hadn't exactly expected this when George invited him to the roof of the science building, but then again he hadn't expected their little picnic/cuddle (don't call it that) or even the beautiful view. He watched as George put his mouth on the end of it, and he saw the man’s cheeks sink in slightly as he took a breath of it. Before breathing out, he handed it to Sapnap. 

Gently, much like George had, Sapnap held it between his thumb and finger before raising the end of it to his lips and holding it there. It was a little difficult to hold, considering he hadn't done any of this before, but Sapnap tried his best to keep it between his lips. He put his tongue on the end, then thought that he probably shouldn't and pulled it back. 

“You just breathe in slowly through your mouth,” George said, “A bit like breathing in before you sigh.”

Sapnap gently did so, preparing to cough immediately and reject the rest of it back into George’s safer hands, but as he inhaled he didn't get the horrid, bitter taste he had been expecting. Well, he did, but he didn't cough and splutter like he had expected from watching TV or videos online. He handed it back over to George and put the back of his hand in front of his mouth, but with George telling him to exhale, he did. 

He didn't feel any different.

“I don't feel any different.”

“Take it slow,” George said, taking another long drag of it before continuing, “You’ll get a head rush if you’re not careful.”

“Well, you’re here to take care of me, right?” Sapnap half-asked, half-joked. 

“I am, I’ll take care of you.”

George handed it back to him after a moment, letting Sapnap take another drag, and for a second there was only silence and the back and forth between them. For every hit Sapnap took, George took two, which made sense. Or at least Sapnap thought that made sense. George was supposedly more experienced at this, which was a weird thing to think about since he looked younger than a lot of the people on their course, but then again George was more experienced because he managed to get the weed in the first place. 

“How’d you get this, anyway?” Sapnap asked as he handed the blunt back. 

He watched George keep it in his hand for a second, just letting the end of it come to a head before he ashed it off to the side of their blankets. The motion his hands made, smooth both in appearance and in texture, seemed practiced. George looked at him, and Sapnap looked at the coppery colour in his deep, brown eyes which stood out in the sunlight. As a cloud sulked across the sky, the colour returned to normal and Sapnap could breathe again. 

“Found it.”

“What the hell?”

“Nah,” George laughed, “I knew a guy back home. Just a friend of a friend.”

“You bought it?”

“Duh. No one goes around giving away free weed.”

“You literally did,” Sapnap laughed, and he couldn't stop, “You literally just gave me some.”

“Oh, shit. Yeah I did, didn't I?” George said, laughing too. 

They were quiet again for a few minutes, but every time Sapnap looked over to George he held his breath, struggling between pushing his head against him like a cat and laughing again. George wasn't helping the matter, glancing over to him and smiling each time, looking away again. They sat there for a second longer before George spoke up.

“Go on, you asked me about my history,” he said, and he turned to Sapnap, “Tell me about yourself.”

“What do you want to know?” Sapnap asked, and he kicked his foot out, nudging the abandoned script over the blanket George had laid out below them. 

His ass was numb, his back hurt and he decided to ditch the appearance of professionalism (as professional as one could get while sitting beneath two blankets on the roof of a building and smoking weed) and stretched out on the blanket, laying his back down onto the concrete and looking up at George. Without another word, the other man did the same and lie down on his stomach, dragging his backpack over to act as a pillow and letting his arm stretch out so that his hand and the blunt were off the blanket. Fire safety was important around those parts, apparently. Smoking kills, wildfires killed, but then again, it’s not exactly like they were in the woods at that point. 

“I want to know you,” George said.

“What about me?”

“Just you.”

“What about me, though?”

“Just… I don't know,” George laughed at him, and since he was lying on his front the entire blanket moved when his chest rose and fell. 

Sapnap laughed too. He laughed for a few seconds, then a few more as he looked up at the pale blue sky and the pink-ish clouds. The wall of the building seemed yellow, almost, which was weird to think about when it was just concrete. 

“I can tell you, wait,” Sapnap paused, “Did Dream talk to you about the second time we met?”

George groaned. 

“Yeah he did, the fucking idiot walked out behind you when you were trying to park.”

“Uh-huh. I kinda freaked out on him because, well, he was probably trying to be friendly – “ 

“But it came across creepy.”

“Yeah. It did. Well, not really. I could kind of tell he was, you know, being friendly about it. Teasing, kind of, but it reminded me of someone I know from back home.”

“Uh-huh.” 

“A complete dick. An asshole.”

“You got flashbacks, huh? Or at least reminded. Preservation instincts.”

George seemed to understand, nodding along with him when Sapnap said it as if he understood.

“Dream tried the same shit with me,” George said, “back in freshman year of high school. I thought he was being a dick at first but it turns out he just didn't know how to talk to people. Honestly, I thought he knew better by now.”

“Does he do that a lot, then?”

“Huh?”

“Just,” Sapnap waved a hand around, “getting hit by a car and then getting revenge by hitting on me instead?”

George laughed, “Yeah. Basically. So this guy you knew.”

Sapnap groaned, already regretting bringing it up, but he laughed at the end as George tried to copy the noise he just made.

“You sound like Chewbacca,” Sapnap told him.

George put a hand over his heart, “Finally, my dream has come true.”

They both laughed for a second, and Sapnap felt giddy. He couldn't remember what day it was, what time it was, what month or year, but in the present all he could think about was the shade of pink that coated George’s cheeks and the rough texture on the man’s bitten bottom lip. He wondered if George bit it, if someone else did, if he let other people do it often or if whoever it was turned out to be a one-time thing. He wondered if George would let him do it too.

“How’s your job search?” Sapnap asked out of the blue.

“Oh, don't ask.”

“Dream got a job at this diner – “

“Yeah I told him about it after I'd applied,” George laughed, “thief.”

Sapnap shrugged, and George shrugged back. Sapnap did it again, a smile edging at the corner of his lips. George grinned and did the same. 

“Tell me about the guy,” George asked.

“No.”

“Please.”

“No. He was an asshole, that’s all you gotta know.”

“Okay,” George said, “I get to ask one question and I’ll leave everything else alone.”

Sapnap sighed, rolling his eyes at George and turning to face him slightly more. 

“Fine.”

“Are you gay?”

Sapnap looked over at him, confused. George raised an eyebrow. 

“Sure,” Sapnap said, instead of any other option.   
He cursed as soon as it left his mouth, turning his gaze up towards the sky again and letting his head fall back onto the concrete with a ‘thunk’, and he sighed deeply as he heard George shuffling around to get closer. 

“Sure – ?”

“I shouldn't have said sure.”

‘What did you mean instead?”

“Uh… I’m bi.”

“Cool. Me too.”

Sapnap opened his eyes, but before he could find a reply to say in response, maybe ‘cool’ or ‘ass or tits?’ he made eye contact with George. Who was leaning above him. 

“Huh?” Sapnap said, blinking up at him.

And, yeah, this was a lot. 

The sky was still blue, the clouds still swimming across it in pink smudges, but Sapnap could see the faintest hints of orange at the very bottom of his vision, making a diagonal line across the bottom of his view. George was in the middle of it all, with his dark eyes and slight smile, with his bitten lip and tousled hair. Things like this should be illegal, but he didn't complain when George dragged his torso into his lap. 

George’s hand was on his stomach. George’s other hand was in his hair. His thumb moved from side to side. 

“I just want to say,” George said, “I think that shade looks great on you.”

Sapnap could almost feel himself shrink.

“Shade?”

“I don’t know,” George continued, putting the hand that had been on Sapnap’s head on his face instead, thumb stroking his cheek. “Something about it, like, your skin is really good. Compliments your shirt. Did you shave today?”

If it was possible to curl up into a ball like an armadillo, Sapnap probably would have just then, but he was paralyzed. George’s thumb went over his hair again.

“I think you did. Like, this is the thing with smoking, since for some people it dulls shit down, but for me it always makes me notice the _little things_ , you know? Like. Your cologne. Is that Dior? It’s good.”

“I don't know.”

“And like, I didn't notice before. You have a mole, it’s really cute, right there.”

Sapnap didn't stop George from poking the mole on the right side of his bottom lip, and he let George leave his finger there for a moment, the skin on lip tingling when he did eventually pull it back.

“Yeah, right there,” George said to himself, “and like, your eyes are really good too, you look sleepy, but so… I don't know. Yeah.”

He groaned when George smiled at him again, closing his eyes so that he didn't have to see the earnest look on the other man’s face, and he buried his own face into George’s shirt, pulling the fabric around him as if it would obscure everything that had happened between them. His tongue felt too flabby and heavy to do much of anything when it came to formulating a response, and no ‘you too’ would do much to salvage it now. George just chuckled, and Sapnap felt the vibrations from his chest travel through his forehead and directly into his heart, panging. 

But when Sapnap eventually pulled his head out of George’s shirt, he looked at him. He looked long and hard at George, staring off into the middle distance, at the underside of his chin and the few small moles that littered his skin, at the sky behind his head turning to a mixture of vibrant pinks and flattering oranges, and at the purple clouds continuing their migration across the sky. Crows, pigeons, some kind of bird flew overhead in flurries now that the wind was gentler, but it was still enough to tussle George’s hair around, and as Sapnap leaned up and out of George’s lap he saw the dramatic contrast between the yellow sun on the distant mountains and the green valleys beneath them. He watched the sky turn darker, hitting a point where the clear areas of the sky seemed almost viridian and jade, and his feelings swam. Nothing came to mind from the watery thoughts; they were drowning, and he was helpless to stop them. 

Wild geese, another formation of them heading south, flew from the distance towards them. Over prairies and mountains they would go, and no matter how lonely, they would still go. 

George watched them too. Then, in a movement Sapnap hadn't expected, he fell back into the blankets and adjusted himself so that he was pressed against Sapnap’s side. He pulled the blankets over them both, one so that it was covering their legs, and the other so that it was over their chests and shoulders, and he pulled his backpack over again. The blunt, long forgotten, lay smouldered and cold to one side of the blanket. 

“I think we should wait this out,” George said quietly, as if he didn't want to disturb the moment.

It took a long moment for Sapnap’s scrambling head to catch up, but when it did he almost smacked himself with how stupid he felt. George had been _right there!_ Right in front of him and complimenting him and looking at him with the Snow White eyes. But now he was… well, George was on his phone, laying down in the sheets and his curls. Waiting. 

So Sapnap lay down. Sapnap did the hard thing and lay down next to George with the unspoken _something_ of what had just happened between them. His head still felt fuzzy, from the weed or the view or the heady air between them, it was impossible to tell, and while George didn't say anything when he lay back down he did throw an arm over Sapnap’s stomach.

Which was something.

It probably meant something. 

Woah, that was a lot of stars. 

He didn't notice drifting off to sleep, but he did notice waking up in the darkness, the warmth of the blankets and with the cold air against his face. The galaxy lay above him, and George lay off to his side, and somehow the latter won the unspoken competition.

“So,” George said.

“Fuck off.”

“You’re finally awake.”

“I hate you.”

George laughed as Sapnap pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, but Sapnap just groaned at the killer headache he had gained in the hour or so nap. He didn't realise weed could do that, but he just added it to the thousand or so things he had learnt since waking up that morning. He’d add it to the list. 

“You said that to Dream,” George said, putting his phone aside and looking at him, and Sapnap raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I, uh. I apologised?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just thinking about how you saying that might actually mean something else.”

Sapnap snorted, and George smirked as he shook his head. 

“What, like ‘sorry, I can't deal with this’ or ‘pass the salt’?”

“Something like that,” George said, “Do you want me to walk you back to your dorm?” 

“You don't have to.” Yes please. 

“No, but I want to.”

“You sure?” Yes please.

“Uh-huh, but only if you are.”

“And you’ll be okay getting back to wherever you’re staying, right?” Yes please.

“Yep. Want me to walk you, then? Now that you’ve made sure I’m not going to keel over and die on the way back to mine?”

Sapnap smiled slightly, no longer overwhelmed by sensations and feelings, or at least, not from the drugs. George looked at him, not quite smiling but… content. 

“Okay,” Sapnap lamented, “Yes please.”

He took George’s hand. He’d let him take his whole life, too. 

“You’re back late,” Bad said, seeming surprised to see Sapnap coming through the door, “Or early, I guess, depending on what you were up to.”

Sapnap ignored the question in favour of closing the door behind him, and he instead said, “Hey Bad, hey Skeppy.”

“Hey.”

Sapnap leaned down to take off his shoes, and after he did so he proceeded to take off the leather jacket and scarf too. He dumped his bag by his bed, let his arms go limp by his sides, and collapsed into his own bed. His dramatic display made Skeppy look up from where he was lying on Bad’s bed, Nintendo Switch in hand, and Bad lowered his own to look at him, too. Both of them were, thankfully, clothed beneath the covers of Bad’s bed. The nine pm music from Animal Crossing played through the speaker on one of them, and the sound of the ocean came too. 

“You good?” Skeppy asked.

Sapnap nodded, not raising his head. 

“Cool,” he said, going back to his game, but Bad wasn't one to leave things alone when they clearly needed to be left alone.

“Are you sure? You seem… wait.”

Sapnap knew what was coming. He sighed before he responded, thankfully before Bad had a chance to say anything.

“I did it safely and I wasn't forced into it. I’ll wash my clothes tomorrow to get the smell out.”

He heard Bad huff, indigent at Sapnap successfully guessing what he was about to mother-hen him for. 

“Are you – ?”

“No, it wore off a while ago.”

There was a pause. One of their games whistled as they caught something. Probably Skeppy’s. Bad was still trying to find something to pester him about, and he could almost hear the whir coming from inside his head as he tried to figure out what he could nit-pick him for. But there wasn't anything – it was a bit like Bad caught himself at the last second and decided against his train of thought – until he spoke up again.

“Did you at least have fun?”

Sapnap snorted, and he heard Skeppy making a giggling noise into the sleeve of his hoodie too, but in the end he just raised his head and looked over at Bad with a stupid smile on his face.

“You know what, Bad? Yeah. Yeah I did have fun.”

“Well! That’s good. I’m glad your date went well.”

“Huh?”

Sapnap leaned up now, looking at him with a confused expression written all over his face, but before he could ask what Bad meant, or worse, how he knew (he had to squish that one at the last second), the other man was speaking up.

“Yeah, Puffy mentioned some blonde guy you saw, she said you have his jacket. Was it with him?”

“Oh! No, I wouldn't. I’m not into him. Besides, it was with someone else, anyway.” 

Bad had returned to his game now, fishing by the sounds of it, not to mention getting mad at Skeppy digging holes, but he kept talking. 

“Was it a date with them?”

“No, Bad,” Sapnap sighed, putting his head back into his sheets. He remembered George’s lips. He remembered the moles beneath his chin. He remembered George leaning over him, and the feeling of flying, being still as a statue, and of being terrified.

Sapnap finished his statement, “I’m not like you. I don't have game.”

“Sapnap!” Bad hissed, putting his Switch down.

“Huh?” Skeppy asked.

“Nothing!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! The responses I've been getting so far have been excellent, and I really appreciate people leaving comments so far :) 
> 
> Three things about this chapter;  
> If you like poetry, please read 'Wild Geese' by Mary Oliver!!!! It's so good!!11 the VIBES  
> I stole a line from Elvis' "Can't Help Falling in Love" and another from Lana Del Ray's "Fucked my way to the top", so check them out if you wanna see where I got a couple of lines from. 
> 
> And as you may have noticed, the rating for this fanfiction has changed! This is partly to do with the drug use in this chapter, and in chapter 8(?) there will be NSFW content or the implication of it, which I haven't written yet, so the rating may change again. The whole fanfiction is officially planned, with a couple of hiccups in later chapters I've noticed already, so hopefully it'll be smooth sailing from now on :D 
> 
> (also, this chapter is 3k longer than it was supposed to be. The next chapter should hopefully have more DNN content with all three of these idiots in a room together, but it's looking to be more like 2 or 3k. Should be out on Sunday, maybe)


	7. Chapter 7

On Wednesday, Sapnap didn't leave his bed.

That’s a lie. He left it twice to get food and twice to pee, but overall he spent all of the time that he was awake in his sheets and on his laptop or phone, switching one for the other when he eventually got bored of whatever website or app he was on. So when Puffy messaged him that afternoon, asking to call him, he sat up in his sheets and messaged back.

The call came a minute later. 

“Hey,” Puffy said, “Sorry if this is awkward timing.”

“It’s cool. I needed a study break anyway,” he said, “what’s up? Is it something bad?”

He could hear some stuff going on in the background of Puffy’s phone, sounds of traffic and walking, but he didn't comment. In the gloom of his room, and with Bad spending time with Skeppy in the library that day, the phone call was the first human conversation he’d had since talking to Bad the night before.

“No, nothing bad. I wanted to ask you for a favour, actually.”

Her feet went onto solid ground, and he could hear clicking noises as if she was wearing proper, fancy shoes. He’d seen Puffy wearing high heels once, to that party, but never since and he found himself wondering about what could have possibly warranted them. It wasn’t his place to ask, but there was no harm in thinking about it. 

“Okay…” he said, trailing off in the hopes that she would continue. 

He heard the sound of keys jangling and the click of her shoes stopped for a moment as she spoke up, the sound of a door being opened in the background too. 

“My sorority is doing this dumb thing,” she said, “and everyone has to ask three people so I’m asking you.”

“What makes you say that it’s dumb?” Sapnap asked as he lay back down on his bed. 

He opened the drawers beside his bed to try and find his headphones, wanting nothing more than to continue to be under the sheets as he tried to decipher this strange conversation she was having with him. Her shoes made sounds against wood now, and he assumed she was going towards her own room in the Alpine Alpha house. As if to confirm his suspicions, the noise of an elevator dinged and she paused before answering him, her shoes sounding like they were hitting the hollow ground of the insides of an elevator.

“I need to not insult it now,” she said, confirming his suspicions, “but yeah. We’re trying to raise money for charity, and instead of a movie night or a bake or second-hand book sale, the head of the house, the president – her name is Becca – she decided it would be a great idea to do like, I don't know. It’s like an auction of people who are single to get them a date. Apparently it’s been really successful in the past.”

Sapnap didn't like where this was going. 

“So do you need me to, like, bid on you or Niki or something?” He asked, hoping. 

“No, this is my favour,” she said, “we need both men and women. I’ve been made exempt because I’m in a relationship and Niki’s playing auctioneer, so…”

“No.”

“Come  _ on _ ,” she said, and the clicking of her shoes continued as she exited the elevator.

“No.”

“You’re single, right?”

He didn't say anything for a moment.

“Sapnap,  _ please _ . I’ll pay you back, I’ll even pay for your dinner if it doesn't work out or if whoever it is turns out to be a cheapskate.” 

“Puffy,” he sighed, “Puffy I’ve got shit to do, midterms, and then Thanksgiving is only like a couple of weeks after the week break, and – “

“It’s the week before Thanksgiving break, so you’ll hopefully have a few days where you don't have to see them, and – “ the sound of a door being unlocked, “Hey Niki. Sapnap, you don't have to be in a relationship with them. It’s literally, just, you know. One night. You don't even have to kiss them, you could stick your ground and tell them to fuck off.”

“That doesn't sound very charitable.”

Sapnap plugged his headphones in and he missed the beginning of her sentence, but he listened clearly as he shoved his head beneath the covers of his bed. They smelt sweaty. He should probably wash them. 

“I know, just… We’re kind of looking for anyone and everyone at this point, and I’ll be honest, we’re looking for more men than women at this point. You said you’re bisexual, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then you’d really be a hot ticket item, Sapnap! I promise, you’ll have at least five to ten people interested in you as soon as you step on stage, and I’m sure we can convince Becca to bump the starting bid up a bit. How does a hundred bucks sound?”

“A hundred bucks?” Sapnap asked, pulling his sheets down again, “That’s a lot, Puffy.”

“Well, how much do you think you’re worth?” She asked, throwing her keys onto a hard surface, “I think a hundred is a good place to start. You’ve got great hair, nice dark eyes to match it, you can grow a beard or keep it clean and still look good. Sapnap, you’re two inches away from being Jake Gyllenhaal levels of perfect.”

“But you’ve never seen me like that.”

“Height.”

“Ah.”

Sapnap turned onto his back and stared up at the white ceiling, or more specifically the grey corners, as Puffy kept talking. He could hear the faint tapping of nails against keyboard keys, too distant to be Puffy and more likely to be Niki. 

“Look, just. Think about it? I can help you get ready, you’ll be doing it for charity, and you might get a handsome guy or a beautiful girl or just someone who’s nice to take you out. We’re working on the brochures and posters in the next week so I think it’ll be okay if you agree at the last minute. Let me know what you think, okay?”

Sapnap sighed, trying to think as his eyes went from one side of the room to the other, not really paying attention to what he was seeing. Then, finally, he spoke up again.

“I’ll let you know,” he said, “because hopefully in two weeks I’ll stop being a coward.”

Puffy didn't respond for a long moment, her breathing coming through the phone still and Sapnap could hear Niki turn around in her chair to make sure she was alright, but eventually she spoke up again.

“I hope it works out for you, genuinely. If it doesn't though, or you haven’t said anything and want a go at this, let me know, okay? I’ll pay you back somehow.”

“Alright, Puffy. Thanks.”

“Good luck Sapnap, let me know and I’ll see you around!”

Puffy ended the call and Sapnap sat listening to the tone before his phone went back to the video he had been watching, and he couldn't pay attention to the person’s voice. He pressed the button at the top to switch his phone off, wrapped his headphones into a neat pile of cables and put it back onto the bedside table. Even with the covers to muffle everything, his thoughts were as loud as ever. 

Thursday. 

Game time. Rehearsal time. ‘He left his script on the roof of the science building like a fucking idiot’ time. 

October arrived on the breeze which shook the trees and spat rain down onto the floors around campus. It forced windows closed and made Sapnap dig out an actual jumper, no longer able to cycle through the same eight band and video game t-shirts, although he did just layer one on top of the jumper instead. It made him look cool. Or at least he thought it did. Hopefully the effect was still there even when he looked away from the mirror, even when he couldn’t make sure of it.

As he walked across the quad, heading towards the Theatre and Arts building hidden on the other side of the campus, the light rain hit his skin and he pulled the lapels of the leather jacket up higher, tucking his head further beneath it as if it would do anything to protect his hair from the moisture. And it was important to protect his hair now, since he wasn't completely sure if the product he’d dragged through it that morning had completely soaked in yet. The last thing he wanted was for it to start running down his face and into his shirts, since while it didn't smell bad, it was very slightly tinted a yellow-orange colour. Amber, perhaps, but he didn't really care enough to know. 

And, to be on the safe side, he had started to refer to the leather jacket as exactly that –  _ the _ leather jacket. Not his, not George’s, and not Dream’s. 

So coffee in hand, thinking about the grey skies on the horizon, Sapnap hurried to the Arts building and hoped for the best. 

The entirety of backstage was painted black, aside from a few props and clothing racks, and it meant that everything seemed both far smaller and far less personal than it would have otherwise. It was a necessary precaution, though, considering the fact that at some positions backstage they could see where the audience sat and, in turn, everything happening behind the curtains. The black paint and curtains helped make sure that everything remained a secret.

The lighting booth was off to the side of the stage, out of the way of where the stagehands were walking and out of view from the audience’s perspective too. Sapnap dumped his bag below the desk where all the buttons and sliders were, letting it slump against the side of the booth as he took his seat. He was damn near invisible in the darkness, or at least he was until he turned on the lamp so that he could see the buttons and dials a bit better, but it also had the disadvantage of making his face look orange. That was the disadvantage of old light bulbs.

Noises came from the rooms further backstage, but he ignored them. Sapnap shrugged off the leather jacket and let it hang on the chair behind him, it’s sleeves limp and almost touching the floor, and he went to grab his bag. 

Before he had a chance to reach down and at least make an attempt at seeming like he had his script, a certain someone appeared in the seat next to him, spinning so that they could face one another. Sapnap wasn't able to speak up before George was doing it for him.

“This worked out quite well,” George said, and slipped Sapnap’s script onto the controls, “And I got to copy your notes, too.”

“ _ Thank you _ ,” Sapnap said with a sigh of relief, “God, I thought I’d left it up there, and will all the rain today and on Wednesday – “

“Thankfully I’m a little more observant than you,” George teased, pulling out his own copy of the script, with his notes done in blue instead of green handwriting. It looked almost like it had been printed onto the page. 

“How are my two good boys doing?” Dream asked as he walked past, dressed jeans and a hoodie, both black. 

His arms were full of what looked like a basket of flowers, but it was difficult to tell from the way Dream was standing. He technically had his back to them, curving his spine and looking at them from the side. Before Sapnap could think of anything to say in response though – maybe an insult or something, if he could get over the sight of Dream’s hair, backlit from the stage door – Dream spoke up to amend himself.

“Maybe not you, George,” he said, and George flipped him off with a smile, “I know you, and you’re a good boy gone bad.”

“My influence is stronger than you think, Dream,” George said, and at this point Sapnap was content to just let things play out in front of him, until, of course, George continued, “We were on the roof of the science building on Tuesday.”

Dream’s gaze snapped to them both, eyebrows raised and looking first at Sapnap in surprise, to George for confirmation. His eyes flickered between the two of them again as he grinned. 

“Damn,” he said, “you work quick.”

“Huh?” Sapnap looked between them, but all Dream did was stick his tongue out at him teasingly and walk off, carrying the set piece onto stage. 

“Ignore him, he’s just jealous I didn't share with him,” George said, and he was rustling his script so that he could get to the notes on the first page. 

Sapnap looked after where Dream went, before turning back too. 

“The weed, you mean?”

“Yeah, you know how it is.”

“I didn't realise you two smoke together,” Sapnap said.

“Not all the time, but you know. I mentioned we knew each other before coming here, right?”

Sapnap thought back to the multiple times it had been mentioned and nodded. 

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you this,” George said, and he looked over to him, “Do you want to get dinner some time? Me, you and Dream?”

George’s face was friendly, void of teasing or mirth, but Sapnap still blinked at him in something akin to shock. His face was only half visible in the lamplight and from the stage, and Sapnap assumed his was much the same, but the effect it had on George’s expression was pronounced. Sapnap could see the twinkle in his eyes, the slight dip in the corner of his mouth as he drew his lips back in a smile, and the rough texture of the bottom lip like he had been biting it. It hadn't gotten better in the day since Sapnap had last seen him, and he wondered who, if not George himself, had been biting it. 

“Oh,” Sapnap said, for lack of anything better coming to mind, “Like… for fun?”

George raised a shoulder and dropped it, a smile on his face like he didn't really know what else to do with his expression. He wasn't wearing his denim jacket, and Sapnap could see the faintest outline of a mark on George’s neck, just before it disappeared beneath the collar of his shirt. He was wearing blue, the usual. It suited him.

“Yeah, sure. We were like, I don't know. Before all the midterms and stuff sweep us over I thought it might be fun, and Dream already agreed to me asking you, so…”

“Yeah, okay. Uhm, I’m not sure when I’ll be around,” Sapnap said it only to make it seem like he had at least  _ something _ going on outside of these interactions with George and Dream, “So, uh, can we try and pick a date and time when Dream is here, too? And, well, not when the show is about to get going.”

They both glanced to where the director was shouting in the back rooms, probably at the actors messing about with the costume department and at them refusing to take it seriously. All of the actors had been through their freshman year already, with experience under their belt about how things worked so that they could appreciate what went into it, but apparently that wasn't the case today. Sapnap could see Puffy walking through the back room with her arms filled with hangers, and he didn't envy her one bit.

Just as Sapnap was about to say something, however, George leaned out over the lighting booth and snagged Dream’s arm when he was walking past to grab another piece of the set. 

“Dream,” George whined, dragging out the vowels, “I’m cold.”

Dream snorted, looking at him with a teasing smirk.

“Why didn't you bring a jacket? You know it gets cold back here.”

“But I didn't think of it.”

Dream sighed, but before George or Sapnap could think to say anything else he pulled off his black hoodie and handed it to George, who put it on without hesitation. Sapnap tried not to watch as Dream pulled his shirt back down after it had ridden up over the soft expance of his stomach, and he wasn't completely sure if he succeeded in his mission. Failure wasn't exactly unpleasant, though. The hoodie was far too big for George, draping down over his hands and pooling around his neck like a scarf, but Sapnap only stared. The mark on George’s neck was gone, whatever it was. 

“You get it next time, Sapnap,” Dream told him, misinterpreting Sapnap’s look, with a hand over his heart and a cheeky grin on his face, “I promise.”

“No thanks, I already have one piece of your clothing, Dream.”

“How did you get that anyway?” George asked, “Dream mentioned he saw you before he walked out behind you, so – “

“Oh, we – “

“We fucked.”

“Dream!” Sapnap hissed, but George just laughed. 

Sapnap struggled to form words, his voice overwhelmed by the noise from further backstage, but Dream had already started to walk away. Sapnap could still hear him talking to them both as he walked off, floating in the air. 

“I’ll talk to you guys after the show,” he said, and disappeared around the corner.

Sapnap and George both watched him go, but when George turned around and Sapnap expected to get told off for eyeing up someone that may or may not be George’s boyfriend (that was all that Sapnap knew about George, really. They may or may not have been in a relationship. They may or may not have been something like that in the past. They may or may not be teasing Sapnap, leading him on intentionally, trying to play with him to make it good for one another – ) but all he did was adjust his seat, kick his legs out, and get himself ready as the director announced that the show was about to start. 

It took about two hours for the show to have a complete run, with an extra hour added with the director pausing everyone to make changes, and with another half an hour where one of the rigs, a scissor lift or something, stopped working. From his and George’s side, however, it went fairly smoothly. There were only a couple of instances of them forgetting which buttons to push and hitting the wrong slider, but the director liked their idea for the scene in the church – the one with the stained-glass affect – and they were able to finally,  _ finally _ able to start packing up their gear at around four thirty that evening. 

And by that point most people had left. The director was in his office, the costume department around the back of the stage were doing their thing but even then they were thin on the ground, and most of the stagehands had been and gone. Sapnap and George were only behind because they were talking. 

“I think that went well,” George said, “And since this has been pushed back and the midterm for it is after the break, we should be able to focus on the other stuff for a bit, you know? That’ll be good, give us a bit less stress.”

“Uh-huh,” Sapnap said, rolling a cable up, but he was still taking his time with it. He continued, “I hope it’s easy on us, this whole thing.”

“I’m sure it will be. Worst comes to worst, it’ll just show us where we all need to improve.”

“That’s true,” he sighed, pulling stuff around in his bag to make space for his script, “I guess I just keep thinking about how it was luck more than skill that got me through high school. Shit sucked, but you know. I’ll have to put my head down and get to it.”

“Yeah. It’s been a while since I did one too, being home-schooled and all. We should meet up at some point, maybe with all of us and your friends too, just to study.”

“Dream too?” Sapnap asked, but speak and he shall appear.

“What about me?”

“We’re talking about the midterms,” George said as he came over. 

Dream put his hands on his hips, out of breath, and Sapnap watched George as he traced the movement of Dream’s arms. When Sapnap looked too, he could see why – veins were sometimes what people saw when it came to someone’s hands, and that was probably what George was looking at too. Dream wasn't lean all over his body (Sapnap had seen his stomach when the other man was lying in the back of Puffy’s van, not to mention for the brief second where he took the hoodie off) but his arms were slender in some places and defined in others. His nails were short, his fingers long, and they made eye contact by accident. 

Dream raised an eyebrow as Sapnap looked away.

“Yeah?” Dream asked, “I’m sure we’ll be okay. It’s not the real deal or whatever. We’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say,” George said, “I’ve got a billion things going on at once.  _ And _ my roommate wants to have a party tonight.”

“Yowch.”

“Sapnap,” Dream said, “Do you do any of the same classes as us?”

“Not sure. Are either of you doing the foley and lighting one?”

Dream shook his head, but George nodded.

“I have it on Fridays. You?”

“Mondays.”

“Damn. I do  _ Modernist Theatre.  _ You?”

“I do that one too,” Dream said, “It’s bullshit but I think I can bullshit the test right back.”

“Nah,” Sapnap said, “I don't do that one either. Uh, how about  _ Expressionism and Acting _ ? That one with the presentation?”

“Oh! I do that,” Dream said, “I expected it to be more hands on though. It sucks that we were not like, properly told about what was involved in the courses before joining them.”

“I kinda prefer that,” Sapnap said, “Getting up on stage and actually doing stuff? No way.”

Dream laughed slightly, and George didn't respond, too busy going through his bag to try and find a safe space for his script. The lighting on the stage was off now, so all three of them were illuminated by the single lamp on the lighting booth, with the undersides of their chins and the apples of their cheeks being hit with the light. Dream’s hair was still a wild mess of blonde curls, but it somehow looked a bit like a hat with how it framed his face. George, on the other hand, seemed like a villain in a C-rated movie. 

“So you’re an actor?”

“I want to be, but you know. There’s only so much you can do without a degree in the field, and it’s not like my home town was much of a hot spot for that sort of thing. I just thought going to college would be fun.”

“What appealed then? Other than just the enjoyment factor.”

Dream seemed to think for a moment, giving the conversation enough of a pause for George to look up at him, too. He parted his lips, which looked like he had put lip balm or something on them, when he finally responded. 

“I don't want to learn  _ about _ dance, I want  _ to _ dance,” Dream said with a sigh, “I only figured out that freshmen couldn't be casted in the performance after I’d agreed to come. I was going to go for one of the lead roles. I didn't want to learn dance, so I didn't do a dance course, but I know enough to get going with it.”

“Maybe next time, Dream,” George said, distracted by his bag.

“Wait,” Sapnap said, putting up his hands with the motion as if it would actually stop him, “You dance? Professionally?”

“Kind of. I have an older sister, so she was always going to practice when I was a kid. I got jealous, and, you know.”

Sapnap tilted his head, crossing his arms as he leant back against the wall behind him. He could feel the cool surface through his shirt, seeping beneath his skin, but still he just waited to see if Dream would elaborate. Eventually, he did.

“You don't believe me,” he said.

“You don't seem like the type.”

Dream put out his hand for Sapnap to take, stepping forward so that the other man would have an easier time getting around the lighting desk, but Sapnap just put his hand up and out in a silent refusal. Wordlessly, Dream shrugged and put his hand on George’s arm instead. He watched Dream’s thumb rub back and forth on the fabric of the hoodie, almost like he was trying to sooth George. It somehow seemed like a familiar action to him.

“Ugh, fine,” George said, putting his bag back onto his chair, and he let Dream lead him around into the open space.

It was still behind the stage, but now that the props that had been there before rehearsal had been moved there was enough room for a few people to all stand comfortably. There was only George and Dream there at the moment, with the former being held close by the latter, but before Sapnap could ask what they were doing, Dream dipped George, who yelped, and hoisted him up to spin him around, laughing, before he put George back safely on two feet. Dream continued to laugh as George stumbled, despite being put down without incident, and Sapnap felt himself laugh too. Or at least he did until Dream offered his hand to him as well.

“No, no,” Sapnap said, putting his hands out, “I’m too heavy, I’ll crush you.”

“Try me,” Dream came closer, grabbing Sapnap so that his thumb was pressed into the other man’s palm, “I’ve lifted the set all day, I'm sure I can lift you too.”

“Dream’s got safe hands,” George said too, as if it would persuade him any, “Even if he can't keep them to his self.”

“Safe hands,” Dream said, flexing his fingers, but he didn't move forward to force Sapnap into it, “Do you want me to demonstrate?”

Sapnap snorted, looking away from Dream’s smile as he grabbed his backpack, but the thought didn't leave him and Dream’s eyes didn't either. George had walked further behind the stage by now, waiting for them off to the side and watching as he came out from behind the lighting booth. He felt heavy, weighed down by the long day and by the sweat, grime, whatever on his skin, and even if Dream was in good humour it didn't mean they all were. 

“You’re good,” Sapnap said, walking over to him but staying a short distance away, “I don't want to weigh you down.”

“You won't. Are you sure you don't want to?”

Sapnap sighed. He dropped his backpack onto the floor. 

“Okay,” he said, “show me a spin or something.”

Dream’s grin, just before Sapnap felt himself being pulled over, probably should have sent off a warning bell in his head. 

He shrieked like a cat when Dream put his arm around his back, one behind his knees, and pulled him up into his arms with almost no effort. Sapnap’s arms immediately went around Dream’s neck as he picked him up like a bride who had just been wed, and he could hear both George and Dream laughing as he clung on tight to Dream, who spun him around in a big circle. Dream did it once, twice, before stopping with a laugh. 

Sapnap’s arms were still tight around Dream’s neck, and he looked over at George carrying both of their bags as he walked off. Before Sapnap could say anything though, Dream was walking after George with him still in his arms, marching forward as if Sapnap’s weight was nothing to him. He bounced slightly with each step. 

He didn't realise before, given the… position, but Sapnap pulled his face away from Dream’s with a flush across his cheeks. That was close, a little too close, with Dream’s hands on his back and thighs, and his own arms around Dream’s neck. He tried to distract himself by watching George lead them over to Dream’s own bag. It was right by the back door, on one of the coat hooks along the wall and it was the only thing left hanging there, along with a warm-looking baseball jacket. Dream didn't seem like the kind of guy to play baseball, but George picked it up as well. 

“Okay,” Sapnap said, finding his words, “You’ve proved your point, so can you put me down?”

“On one condition,” Dream said, and Sapnap groaned, “No! It’s nothing bad.”

Dream looked down at him, his face a few centimetres from Sapnap’s nose, and he automatically drew back a fraction, although it wasn't much. Dream’s eyes were shockingly green, which he hadn't really paid attention to before even if he had seen them, and while Dream had probably expected him to come up with some rebuttal – a snide remark or a groan of frustration came to mind – he stayed silent. Sapnap could feel the hem of his jumper, not to mention the t-shirt he wore over it, sliding up his back slightly. 

“Don't torture him, Dream. You’re still trying to pay him back for being a creep that one time.”

“I apologised,” Dream said, and Sapnap let his head fall as far back as it could go so that he could see George too. 

“Ah,” George said, “but did he accept your apology?”

Sapnap raised his head again, finding himself face to face with Dream again. It was a bit like being between a rock and a hard place. Dream’s arms felt sturdy on his back and on his thighs. 

“What was your thing?” Sapnap asked.

“My what?”

“You said you’d put me down for a– a thing.”

“Oh yeah,” Dream said, “Can I have your number?”

Sapnap blinked. He could hear George laughing as he lingered by the door, and he could see Dream smiling out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't say anything for a moment, his mind too blank to think properly. 

“My number?” he asked. 

“Yeah.”

Dream said it without any fanfare or mockery, and Sapnap waited a second longer before coming up with a reply. 

“Yeah.”

If a picture spoke a thousand words, Dream’s face was an open book. He grinned before letting Sapnap down to the ground gently, and when he was back on two feet he spun in a circle and threw his hand up in the air to announce his victory.

“Are you done?” George asked as he handed Sapnap’s bag back, “I want to go have a shower.”

“Yeah, I’ll join you in a sec,” Dream said as he pulled out his phone.

“In the shower?” Sapnap asked with a smirk, but the other two both brushed it off. 

Dream pouted at him, his ‘add contacts’ open on his phone and waiting for Sapnap to give in.

Sapnap sighed, giving Dream a mock glare before pulling out his phone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT:  
> As I've already mentioned, the next chapter will be NSFW, but I've already written it and I can say that it's optional. There will be an SFW recap at the beginning chapter 9, so if you are someone who doesnt like smut, or otherwise would rather skip over it, it's totally optional. You just have to skip chapter 8 and wait for chapter nine :) 
> 
> Let me know what you think! I'm glad so many people liked the last chapter, and even though this one isn't as atmospheric I hope seeing Dream, George and Sapnap in the same room together is enough to make up for it ;) enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOU! YES YOU!
> 
> This chapter is NSFW! I'm not going to baby you and explain why you shouldn't read this chapter if you're a minor - I trust you to turn back now or wait for chapter 9. I'll be posting a recap in the summery of that chapter so you can catch up without the NSFW content. 
> 
> Until then, enjoy!

Sapnap dreamt of many things on Friday night. It might have been since he accidentally slept for about fifteen hours straight, from two in the morning until five in the afternoon, waking up just in time to catch the sunset. Which was nice. He'd dreamt of many things, but the overwhelming theme had been both heat and flesh, which Sapnap knew didn’t bode well. That sort of thing never boded well. 

He slept terribly, even though Skeppy had taken Bad downstairs to his room to ‘get some privacy’ as he put it, since his roommate had gone home for the end of the week slash weekend. So Bad was gone, and when Bad was gone, Sapnap did as roommates must.

He moaned softly into the pillow, squeezing his eyes tight to stop his thoughts from meeting the light of day, or really the light of the setting sun. The dorm room was dark, save for what little light came through beneath the curtains, and he wished he could turn off the sun, too. He didn’t want to see himself, not even in the softer light of the evening, and especially not in the unforgiving light of day.

Sapnap’s breathing came out shallow, breathy and low as he shifted beneath the covers of the bed, causing hardly any movement at all but it was still enough for him to feel disgusted with himself and at what he was imagining. He hadn't even put a hand into his boxers, too fearful that committing to it would mean that he felt something towards them, even if he wasn't afraid to think of them now. 

Hands on his back. Hands on his thighs. Leaning back in George’s lap and being held steady by Dream. Small flairs of pain on his neck, his thighs. Bite marks.

He’d tried not to think about it, he really had, but sometimes a man is more mortal than he pretends he is, and Sapnap was no different. Face down, pretending to be doing something else, something more innocent than lying beneath his sheets and thinking of people he shouldn't be. 

His hips rutted against the mattress and he let out a shuddered breath, catching onto the end of it when he breathed back in deeply and clenched the sheets in his palms. Sapnap pushed his face into the pillow, finding it hard to breathe through but it was exactly what he wanted, as if the fabric could muffle his thoughts as well as his noises. 

Dream’s hands pulling his thighs apart and sliding his body between them. George’s hands in his hair and fingers in his mouth. The smell of fresh air and pancakes, or of alcohol and coffee. Would he open his mouth for them? Would he lay back and take it?

Sapnap shuffled on his bed, his legs splayed out and his back arching at the thought of George and Dream just watching him from a few feet away, sitting back and seeing him grind down on the bed in desperation, not allowed to touch himself and yet so, so desperate. 

His cock ached in his boxers, begging to be touched or manhandled, to have a mouth or ass or  _ something _ on it, but Sapnap didn't budge. He needed, actually  _ needed _ to remember that this was a fantasy. Putting a hand on his aching dick would do nothing but make him think of it more. 

George and Dream were a means to an end for now, nothing more. He begged with himself to let them be nothing more. 

Sapnap pulled his face from the pillow again, blind and unseeing, and he breathed in deeply. It felt too warm under the covers, but he didn't want to pull them off. He did, but he didn't. He did though, just a little. The fantasy in his head told him he should just pull them all off, turn himself over so that he was on his back and touch himself properly, but Sapnap was known for nothing if not commitment issues. He stayed face down. 

But then he stopped, gripping the sheets like he never wanted to let them go and he huffed a few breaths out through his teeth, gritting them, holding himself to a standard. He dropped the act and rutted forward as he pulled himself up. He turned himself over, and the heat of his body met with the chilly air in the room. 

He groaned, loud and deep as he first touched his cock. His back arched off the bed when he thumbed the tip, spreading out the precum over the head of his cock and dragging it slowly, gradually, lower. 

Sapnap realised as he began to stroke himself that he’d swum to the deep end without even knowing it. But if it was so bad, why did it feel so good? 

Wow, this sucked. Sapnap didn't realise how much this would suck until he was making his way over to the library in the middle of the night since Bad was being kept awake by his keyboard keys being hit too hard and too quickly. He didn't mention seeing Skeppy sneaking upstairs when he made his way outside. If Bad wanted to keep secrets, it wasn't exactly in Sapnap’s best interests to call him out on it. It wasn’t like Bad was the only one keeping them anyway.

And yeah, Sapnap had moved onto typing as soon as essays were a thing and he regretted not making the change sooner – handwriting was hard at the best of times, but reading it? That was far worse. 

Sapnap entered the library at ten pm, and it was around one in the morning now, still dark outside and busy enough for noises and voices to be coming from the floor below, but since he was sitting on the third floor it was slightly muted. The desktop he’d found was in one of the nooks off to the side of the floor, out of sight of the stairs and elevators, and only seen when people were actively looking for a seat in private. It was more so luck than knowledge that led Sapnap to it, but he shoved his bag into the spare seat as soon as he saw it. No one was sitting there currently, and he’d be damned if he let someone sit next to him at that hour of the morning. 

He’d laid out his notebook on the desk, along with three pens of various line thickness, a pencil which he didn't intend to use, a highlighter he also didn't intend to use, his laptop, his laptop charger, his phone, his phone charger, his keys, a pack of gum, a warm bottle of soda, a cold cup of coffee, the packaging from a sandwich he’d eaten earlier, a candy bar, a candy bar wrapper, and Dream’s, his, George’s leather jacket. 

_ The _ leather jacket, he kept having to remind himself. 

More so than anything else, Sapnap felt tired in the icky, ill-feeling kind of way. It had been a few days since his ill-fated encounter with himself, the first since he had gotten to college and here he was thinking that he had been doing well. Maybe he hadn't been doing well and fooled himself into thinking he had, which meant the fall down the rabbit hole was much more unexpected. Maybe he had expected it all along, since it didn't feel like some debauched thing he hadn't seen coming, but instead an inevitable. It was inevitable that he’d slip up at some point, do something he regretted, say things he didn't mean or do things he didn't want to, but as it stood he… he didn't know how to feel. He knew to feel shame, but there was the great, lingering question of  _ why? _

With his earphones firmly in and his Lo-Fi Hip-Hop Beats To Study And Relax To playing quietly through them, Sapnap didn't notice the chair beside him moving until his bag was dropped onto the floor.

Before he could say anything, however, Mr Daydream (or Mr Nightmare, given, well, everything) himself smiled at him.

“Hey,” Dream said before Sapnap had removed his earphones, and then again when he had, “Hey. I didn't expect to see you here.”

“I could say the same about you,” Sapnap said, saving his progress on his essay automatically, “What brings you here so late?”

“Midterms, what else? Are you doing essays or exam prep?”

Dream started unloading his stuff onto the desk, and Sapnap didn't comment as he moved aside a couple of his things, namely the jacket and the two empty packets, the latter of which he threw at the trash can and missed. As Dream typed in his login into the desktop computer, Sapnap tried not to let his eyes wonder. 

The man was wearing George’s denim jacket, and he could see a mark near the top that looked a bit like a tear, but he wasn't sure, and beneath it he had a black and white striped shirt. Sapnap couldn't tell if it was a long sleeve one or not, but what he did notice was how it didn't leave an awful lot to the imagination. Dream’s hair was down (he must have only worn it up when he was working, since he hadn't seen it up since) and he seemed relaxed. Tired, but relaxed. Dream’s eyes flickered over to him.

“You good?” he asked, “I’m sorry I kinda invited myself over here. If you want I can go soon.”

“No, it’s cool,” Sapnap said, typing in a sentence for his essay, “do you have a lot to do?”

“I want to try and get as much of it done as possible. You know how it is – all of it in one go makes it easier later on, or at least doing as much as possible will.”

Sapnap hummed in agreement. He could see Dream pull the jacket off and leave it hanging over the back of his chair, and he deliberately had to stop himself from turning to look as the other man’s bare arms were revealed. Sapnap wasn't exactly the kind of guy to go for arms, and he definitely never thought of them as attractive until he saw Dream’s, but something about his just… spoke volumes. 

“I’m surprised you don't get cold,” Dream said, “When I wore that jacket I always did around this time of year.”

“Oh, I don't usually get as cold as some people. Not sure why.”

“It has been pretty mild this year,” Dream scribbled something down, pausing as he did so, “Something tells me that as soon as the week after this one hits we’re going to be in for a cold spell.”

“What makes you say that?”

Dream shrugged, “I just feel it. It’s almost November.”

“It’s almost Halloween, too,” Sapnap said, just for something to keep their little conversation going. 

Whether or not Halloween was close didn't really matter to him, but it seemed like something normal people would talk about, be it their plans for that year, their activities in the past, or whether or not they celebrated it at all. Dream smiled to himself, looking out of the corner of his eye at Sapnap before looking back at his screen again. Somehow, Sapnap felt like he had messed up the unwritten rules to their social interaction, or at least he did until Dream found it within himself to reply.

“Yeah, I guess it is. It’s a shame it’s falling over the week where we go home. Are your siblings or parents looking forward to you going back home?”

“Oh, I’m staying here,” Sapnap said.

Dream looked at him properly now, his eyebrows raised in surprise and Sapnap tried not to shrink under his gaze. 

“Damn. What’s up? Did you just choose to or – ?”

“I chose to, don't worry.”

“Ah, that’s okay then,” Dream said with a smile, turning away again, “what’s up?”

“I just didn't want to take the trip home and burn cash doing it, you know? I figured I’d rather go home for thanksgiving than the week’s break, especially since my family will actually be at home around then.”

“Do your parents work a lot then?”

“Yeah. Damn near every day, and if not, then days off are usually spent getting to and from wherever they are.” 

“Mine too. I usually spend thanksgiving with my aunt,” Dream said, “She’s nice and all but, you know.”

“I get you. Are you spending the week off with her?”

“No, with George.”

“Oh, cool.” Sapnap said, and the conversation died between them.

He didn't mean to let it fizzle out, but it was almost second nature for him to try and brush stuff off when it upset him, but as it currently was, all Sapnap succeeded in doing was making himself look jealous. Unfortunately, he was, and he had to just try and brush it off if Dream noticed. 

But Dream didn't comment. He just hit the keys of the computer and read through an article about modernism versus postmodernism versus some other stuff. It looked boring, but Dream was reading it and leaning in closer to the screen, a hand over his mouth as if he was concentrating on it deeply, registering every word on the page, and Sapnap thought better of interrupting him.

As it turned out, he didn't need to. Dream spoke up without moving his hand away from his mouth or looking away from the screen. 

“Damn, just say something,” he said, “If you keep looking at people like that then they’re going to start getting ideas.”

Sapnap didn't say anything for a second. Dream was looking at him.

“I don't know what you’re talking about.”

“You do. You keep looking at me like– I don't even know. It’s like you're torn between throwing your chair at me and doing something else. And by something else, I mean kissing me. It looks like you want to kiss me, Sapnap.”

Dream said it casually, no heat or venom behind the words, and despite Sapnap trying to keep his own tone neutral, all he succeeded in doing was making himself sound like an idiot.

“I’m not into you,” he lied. 

“No, tell me,” Dream asked, “George said I reminded you of someone you knew.”

Sapnap didn't reply, but Dream kept talking. 

“Like an ex-boyfriend or something – “

“Shut up,” Sapnap snapped. 

“–And all I’m thinking is whether that means you think I’m attractive like you did your ex.”

“ _ No _ ,” Sapnap said immediately, “You don't look like my ex and you’re not attractive, so shut up.”

“I don't think I will, actually,” Dream said, and he turned towards Sapnap properly so that he could look at the side of his face, even if Sapnap refused to return eye contact. 

Dream, unfortunately, continued, “Do you think I’m hot, Sapnap? Plenty of people do, so I won't be offended if you say yes. I’d be flattered, actually.”

“Why don't you get some other idiot to say so, then?” Sapnap asked, “If you think so many people want you.”

“Because they’re not you.”

Sapnap’s head twisted to look at Dream, and he found the man and his green eyes staring straight back. His expression was void of mockery, not a single trace of jest or teasing on it, and his mouth was smooth and pink, closed, waiting patiently for Sapnap to respond to him. But Sapnap stayed quiet, feeling the tension between them in the air and seeping into their clothes, and he knew that something here, now, was happening yet remaining unspoken between them. Dream blinked slowly, like a cat trying to invite someone’s hand to pet them. 

“Me?”

“You. You’ve acted like you don't know how you look at me.”

“I don't look at you in any particular way,” Sapnap said, and he tried to focus back on his work.

A hand fell to his thigh, just above his knee. Sapnap couldn't help but look at Dream.

“You look at me like that,” he said, “and George, too. We’re not blind.”

Sapnap swallowed. His hands left the keyboard and mouse. 

“Do you want me to stop?” Dream asked, “because I can and I will if you tell me to.”

A pause. Neither of them moved. Dream’s hand sunk heat into his leg and his eyes held him captive, but after one second, two, Sapnap lurched. 

The chair below him squeaked when Sapnap climbed into Dream’s lap, but neither of them paid any attention to it, too busy with one another and their points of contact. Dream’s hand on his hip, one on his back, Sapnap’s in Dream’s hair and holding him upright in the chair. Their lips pressed together like they hadn’t seen each other since the beginning of time. Dream’s hands felt like everything and nothing at once, something Sapnap had been looking for in every moment since meeting the man but it paled in comparison to the feeling of Dream’s lips on his, warm and soft and tasting of lip balm. 

Sapnap knew he wasn't a skilled kisser, and certainly not a well-practiced one, but he pressed himself closer as if it would make up for it. In some ways it did; Dream groaned and held on tighter, and it meant Sapnap got closer, but when Dream parted his lips slightly Sapnap realised he was in open, uncharted waters. 

Almost like Dream could tell, he went slower, slower, until Sapnap was almost desperate for there to be more. 

He thought of every bad romance movie he had ever been forced to see, he thought of every stupid story he proofread for his friends way back whenever, and he thought of any, all of the romantic encounters he’d had so far. 

Dream moved him suddenly, pulling back slightly, but before Sapnap could let out a sound of confusion or voice his hurt, Dream’s mouth was on his neck and Sapnap was sitting on the desk. The keyboard clattered as Dream shoved it further back, the computer making an unhappy sound when Sapnap pressed something, but neither of them looked. 

A bite against his neck, a lick to sooth it, and Dream’s hands were under his shirt. Sapnap breathed, closing his eyes as he leaned back to let him access more, more, more. But it was an awkward position, with Dream being taller than him anyway and with Sapnap sitting on the desk, and without a word Sapnap pushed him back.

“What – ?” Dream asked, voice out of it and something Sapnap would remember forever, but all he did was slide down onto the floor, dragging Dream with him so that he could sit in his lap again. 

Dream’s hands went to either side of his face to drag him in closer, and he could feel a huff of hot breath fan out over his face when Dream felt his tongue tentatively moving forward. The other man wasn't laughing at him, not really, but it felt like more of a confirmation than anything else, like he was giving in to Sapnap completely. As if to approve the motion, Dream gradually, slowly moved backwards so that he was laying down flat with Sapnap on top of him, letting him take the reins on their make out in the library and control the pace.

Sapnap didn't seem to remember where they were though, and thankfully staying quiet, he pushed his hips deliberately, gently forward. 

Dream groaned, guttural and deep, his face moving upwards to chase Sapnap as he pulled back slightly and his strong hands slid up Sapnap’s arms, trailing along the sweater he wore. 

“God,” Dream said, breaking their lips apart and pressing their foreheads together to get some air, “You’ve wanted this, huh? I have too, but you looked like you were somewhere between killing me and kissing me.”

“Now you know, huh?”

“Does that mean I can kiss you again?”

Sapnap didn't reply, pressing their lips together again and shoving his hips forward. Rolling them, and Dream huffed as he moved them forwards and back, gripping Sapnap’s hips tight enough to bruise and trying to take control back from where he had lost it. He rolled his hips, felt something hard pressing against his ass, and pushed back into it. Dream hummed, running his hand down Sapnap’s waist, over the curve of his hip, and back up. Sapnap could hear a motion downstairs, and he stayed still for a moment before being dragged back into the moment when Dream pressed a hand against his clothed crotch. He gasped.

It was deceptively easy, deceptively slow and soft, and then the muscles under Sapnap tightened. Dream squeezed his waist and let go, pushing himself up off the ground, and lowering his legs until he was sitting up again with Sapnap in his lap.

Sapnap moved up on his knees again, climbing up onto Dream’s thighs, enjoying the height advantage, the way Dream had to tilt his head up and strain to reach Sapnap’s lips.

But then Sapnap stilled, his body still pressed flush against Dream’s and his hands still on his shoulders, in his hair, and he watched. They were not completely invisible here, and people were still in the library, past midnight or not. He tried to bite his lip as Dream settled on licking at his neck again instead, and as if Dream could tell what he was thinking, he bit into the soft flesh at the side to make him gasp.

“If you want to be quiet,” Dream said as he soothed the wound with his tongue, “You shouldn't be doing this with me.”

Sapnap snorted at his bold claim and was tempted to hit him, but just as he reached back to try and smack the blonde on the side of his head, Dream’s hands ghosted over the base of Sapnap’s spine and he squirmed as he touched the dips in his lower back, leaning forward to bite at Dream’s lip until his fingers moved away. Dream might have been a cocky, arrogant dick sometimes, but when Sapnap pulled back to admire his work Dream’s mouth was wet and swollen, his colour high, and he was starting to show the strain of keeping in control. He quite liked the look on him, actually. 

But then Dream flipped them, setting Sapnap on the carpet and keeping him trapped beneath his hips and caged in with his arms. Sapnap could tell that his hair had fanned out behind his head, dark against the grey carpet, and Dream pulled back to admire his work. He had no doubt that a variety of kiss-red marks and bruises were going to be there in the morning, or even in a few hours, and he couldn't find it in him to complain. Dream’s smirk, however, would have to go. He gripped the man’s hair and shoved it between his neck and his shoulder, rutting upwards and pressing them together again. 

It didn't stop him from talking, though. 

“Do you like that?” Dream whispered, pressing a kiss into his neck and rolling his hips again, “Do you like me pressing against you like this?”

Sapnap, even through the red haze, was tempted to say ‘no’ just to piss him off. 

“Do you like me below you?” Sapnap asked instead, whispered so that no one else on the third floor could hear them, “Do you want to be in me?”

Dream groaned far louder than Sapnap had dared, and the sound buzzed through Sapnap’s lips. He rolled his hips and Dream pulled him in closer, urged him on.

The small of Sapnap’s back was slick with sweat. He could feel it as Dream put his hand beneath his shirt again and used it as leverage to push himself down lower, grinding against the outline of Sapnap’s cock and hoping for a reaction. He got one moments later when Sapnap moaned, throaty and low, trying to keep his volume down and only half succeeding. Dream pulled his face back again and grinned, but Sapnap could only pay a slight amount of attention to it. He felt hot. Everything felt too hot. Dream felt so good, so big and warm and easy, and Sapnap rubbed against him, pressing back against the thick line of his dick. He groaned at the firm pressure.

“You look gorgeous,” Dream said, pressing a kiss to his mouth, “God, look at you.”

Sapnap clenched his eyes shut, breathing through his mouth as Dream pushed his lips against his again, not quite kissing but just together, as he pushed their hips, their still clothed cocks, together. He could feel himself gasping, trying not to make noise but needing to breathe, and the heat in his stomach began to pool like magma inside him. He pushed a hand down the back of Dream’s jeans, gripping the flesh of his ass and chucking at the gasp the other man made in turn, but his laughter didn't last when Dream shortened his thrusts, focusing on getting them both off. Sapnap blinked at the lights, clenched his thighs, and moments later it was all over. 

He moaned, far louder than he wanted to, and shuddered as Dream pushed himself faster. Just before he could catch his breath and try and stop the overstimulation, Dream came too, grunting into his neck and biting Sapnap’s shirt to try and muffle himself. 

For a while they didn't move. Dream’s chest was pressed against his, rising and falling but not helping at all with Sapnap trying to get his breath back, and he tried to keep himself upright with his arms. He could feel where his shirt had ridden up and the rug burn on his lower back, and he wondered if Dream’s knees ached from thrusting.

But just as soon as the afterglow came, it went, and Sapnap shivered. His stomach hurt, his legs did too, and overwhelmingly he realised the implications to what they had done. Dream rolled off him without a noise, sitting dumbly on the floor and with his hair all in his face, and not to mention his jeans lower than usual from where Sapnap had grabbed a handful of his ass earlier. Sapnap suspected that he was in much the same shape, and he could feel the cool air of the library on his exposed stomach. 

And yeah. The  _ library _ . 

“I think I’m going to go,” Sapnap said quietly. 

“Alright. Do you want to, like, talk about this?” Dream asked, and he hated the hopeful edge that snuck in at the end. 

There was the noise of someone coughing further down in the building, and Sapnap’s head snapped to the entrance to their little area as if he expected someone to be standing there, but he saw no one. Dream followed his gaze lazily, still recovering from the afterglow, and he looked like he had just had the time of his life. Good for him, but Sapnap couldn't enjoy it with a good conscience. 

He stood slowly, feeling his knees twinge with how he had knelt over Dream earlier, and while he didn't move quickly he could still feel Dream’s eyes on him. He packed his bag as subtly as he could, trying not to do it too quickly, but Dream just blinked like he was sleepy. 

“I think we should talk about this,” Dream said, “but, like, tomorrow or… or I’ll message you or something. I don't think I can stay awake like this now.”

Sapnap stopped for a second, finding it within himself to stop moving his hands and go from foot to foot instead. 

“Yeah,” his voice broke, “You’ll be okay getting back home, right?”

“Yeah, it’s cool if you wanna go now. I might just…” Dream slapped his hand against the floor, making a muffled ‘thud’, “I might try and get my brain to function first. Fucking really takes it out of me.”

Sapnap tried not to cringe as Dream said the word, but he grabbed his backpack and, thinking better of it now, left the leather jacket behind. Before Dream could say anything about him leaving it though, Sapnap spoke up.

“I’ll see you around,” he said, walking out. 

He didn't stay to hear Dream’s reply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't posted NSFW publicly in at least two and a bit years, but I do feel the need to say this.  
> I write nsfw anonymously sometimes. This is mostly because some people I know irl know about this account :( I'm worried they'd judge me for just writing a smut fic by itself, so if it doesn't have plot then it's not getting linked back to here lmao. 
> 
> If you liked this please let me know what you think! I'd love to hear feedback on this chapter specifically since it's not what I usually post (publicly lol). As always, comments are wonderful. Thanks for reading :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IN THE LAST CHAPTER (if you skipped it):  
> Sapnap fantasised about Dream and George and felt bad about it.  
> Sapnap went to the library late at night to study for one of his midterms and Dream showed up. Sapnap mentioned that he wasn't going home for the week break, and Dream said he was. Tension came to a head between them, with Sapnap admitting that his ex looks like Dream, and Dream asked if that meant Sapnap was attracted to him, too.  
> They have sex in the library, and afterwards Sapnap can immediately tell that he fucked up. He leaves without properly talking to Dream about what happens now/what brought this on, and he leaves the leather jacket behind.

Sapnap could have cried. He could have honest-to-god cried. 

He felt awful. It wasn't just the stickiness in his trousers or the bitter cold of the October night, but the horrid, awful memory of his daydreams becoming a nightmare. He’d fucked, not fucked, what was the word for _that_? He didn't want to think. He needed to. He didn't want to. Sapnap’s shoes slapped against the concrete pavement of the quad, walking diagonally across its grassy space and feeling the cold air in the breeze. He didn't hurry, too uncomfortable feeling to move his legs in any motion that couldn't be called ‘stiff’, and he hated himself just a little bit for leaving Dream’s jacket behind, and simultaneously for not giving it back sooner. 

But like the night, with his guilt, his vices, his wishes; everything was catching up to him. His feet stopped moving. Sapnap took a breath, more of a gasp. Another. His face burned in the cold. Another. 

“Fuck,” he gasped, “fuck, fuck.”

His chest felt tight, and his breathing unsteady. If there hadn't been a bench behind him he would have fallen straight onto the grass, but either way he wouldn't have noticed. His backpack made an unpleasant sound as it was crushed between his back and the bench. 

“God,” he said, though it was broken by a sudden need for air, his voice coming out as more of a croak than a word. 

A tear ran down his nose. His arms, legs, body wanted to curl up into a ball and die there, wanted to freeze to death and become part of the earth surrounding him. He was a hundred miles from home, at least three weeks until he’d be in his own bedroom and looking at the rain on the window in the attic, and he had at least one panic attack to get through first. 

Because that’s what this was. Between his gasps, sobs came out of his stomach like a thing alive, and he gripped his hair in both hands. The bumps on his forearms, a long insecurity of his, rose in the cold. 

But before he could fully immerse himself in whatever the fuck he’d fallen into, he held his breath. Someone was walking across the quad, in the same direction Sapnap had been going, with his hands in his pockets and his glasses reflecting in the light. He felt his body shake, not from the cold but from the ill-contained panic wrecking through him, and he tried to hold it together at least until this stranger walked past.

“Hey Sapnap.”

Okay. Maybe they were not a stranger after all.

“Oh. You don't look so hot.”

It was Skeppy’s roommate, Mr whoever the fuck. He seemed more awake than anyone should have been at that time of night, and considering the state Sapnap knew he was in, he didn't respond intentionally. Maybe if he was closed in enough, unresponsive enough, then the guy would go away.

The guy sat on the other end of the bench next to Sapnap. 

“You want to talk about it?”

Sapnap breathed again, his air coming out shaky and long as if it had been trapped inside him for years, and he could feel his eyes staring intently at the pavement. He knew that there were security cameras facing out onto the quad, but he wondered if being arrested was still as unappealing when he thought about bludgeoning this guy with his laptop. 

“No,” Sapnap said. 

His voice was still shaky, and he hated it, but the other guy stayed quiet. He could see his breath in the air. 

It wasn't quite a comfortable silence. If Sapnap had to describe it, he’d call it heavy, maybe unsettling, as Skeppy’s roommate sat around on the bench and waited for Sapnap to get his damn act together. He didn't want to raise his head and look out over the quad, too busy thinking about everything. Nothing. All the things that didn't matter and all the things that did. Dream’s smile haunted him. 

Breathe, he told himself, breathe. 

The air was freezing cold. The bench was too. His back ached. His thighs did too. Don't think about that, he told himself. He smelt a distant fire. Someone might have been smoking out of a window. The air was obnoxiously fresh, like it had something to prove. He could hear music in the distance, crickets, his own breathing. The guy scuffed his feet on the pavement. Breathe in, one, two, three, breathe out, one, two, three. Leaves were on the ground. He could see the red in his shoes, see the blue of his jeans. His head felt warm in his hands. His hair was soft. The air was freezing cold. The guy was on the bench next to him. 

Sapnap looked up. 

The quad was empty. He might have thought that earlier, but then again, he might not have. Street lamps were in each corner of the quad, casting their amber glow over the ground and fallen leaves, illuminating the frost he hadn't noticed before. It made sense that it was there, waiting on the ground like discarded jewels, but Sapnap hadn't been paying attention until now, and he saw his own breath collect in the air like it didn't know what to do with itself before it disappeared. Skeppy’s roommate’s breath did much the same, lingering before it vanished, but the man stayed on the bench. 

“What do you want?” Sapnap asked, his voice coming across bitter. 

The guy didn't reply for a moment, but then he did.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay,” he said and stood.

Sapnap’s hand lurched out and grabbed the sleeve of his hoodie before he could walk off. Wordlessly, the guy sat down again. He didn't comment. 

The pause lingered between them.

“I think I fucked up,” Sapnap said. 

A pause. 

“You think you did?”

Sapnap nodded. The guy didn't say anything for a moment before he spoke up again.

“Could you put it on a scale of one to ten?”

“I don't know, it could vary depending on how I deal with it. Or if I even fucked up at all. I think I did though. I think I did.”

The guy stuck his legs out, putting the ankle on one knee and leaning back onto the bench. One of his arms was stretched out behind the bench, and if Sapnap leaned back too he knew that the guy would be able to feel his backpack, maybe. It was all an unknown.

“Maybe you should figure out whether you did or didn't before deciding if you should worry about it,” he said, his deep voice smooth and soothing, almost emotionless, “There’s no point crying over spilt milk, especially if you don't know if you’ve spilt it yet.”

“This is the thing,” Sapnap said, and he felt like moving so he did. 

He stood up, walked to the end of the bench and back again, moving his cold fingers to try and get some better circulation in them.

“I don't know if I fucked up because I’ve been getting mixed messages since day one. There’s these two guys, right? And I thought they were a couple but they might not be, but they might also be, too. I don't know. They’ve been kind of flirting with me, but also not, and kind of flirting with one another, but also not. I don't know.” Sapnap put his head in his hands, standing still, “It’s like… It’s like they're in some kinda competition to see who can fuck with me most, and I keep seeing red flags but it’s like I can't help but ignore them. One of them looks like my ex. Surely that’s reason enough to avoid him, right? And yet here I am.”

“So you don't want to be attracted to them? Or you want them to stop talking to you?”

“I don't know,” Sapnap sat down again, “I could happily be in a relationship with them, either of them or together, but like I said, I don't know what _they_ want. And I also don't know if they're already in a relationship, and if they are then I don't know if they're messing with me on purpose because _that’s_ something, isn't it? I might have helped one of them cheat on the other accidently. And I can't talk to anyone about this.”

“You’re telling me,” the guy said.

“You’re no-one to me though. I don't know you. You’re almost a stranger, as close as anyone gets to being one.”

The guy nodded his head and didn't say anything. 

“Just,” Sapnap paused, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down again, “I don't know what they want, but everything I want feels like crossing a line.”

“Can you not ask them?”

“I keep trying to but I get nowhere. I think they’re in a relationship, but I haven't seen them kiss or anything. I don't know.”

“Have they asked you to stop?”

“No,” Sapnap said quietly, “they haven't.”

“Well,” the guy said, “I don't know the full story but I’m assuming these guys are adults, and if they’re adults they’re capable of saying no to things that they don't want to do, and you are too. If you were uncomfortable, you’d tell them to stop, right?”

Sapnap thought back to being in Puffy’s van with Dream and nodded. 

“Right. And you’d do the same with them, right?”

Sapnap thought back to being in the library, about how he’d enjoyed it and wanted it at the time, and about how he was regretting it now. He didn't know if Dream was in a relationship with George, and he might have accidentally helped one cheat on the other. He didn't move a muscle. 

“Well, I’d hope you would. So I think you just kind of need to sit them down, be it one of them or both, and ask. It’s not fair for them to be pushing you around like this if they didn't mean anything by it, and if they didn't mean anything then they’re assholes and you deserve better.”

There was another long pause between them, and after the excitement of the day had gone, Sapnap just felt cold. His head was cold, his face was cold, and his heart was sitting in his stomach.

“I forgot your name,” Sapnap said, and the other guy chuckled. 

“I don't think you ever asked for it.”

There was another pause between them before Skeppy’s roommate spoke up again, answering the unspoken question.

“Techno.”

“Sapnap.”

Silence. 

“God,” Sapnap said again, “I thought this shit was over now that we’re here.”

“Out of high school you mean?”

Sapnap nodded. 

“Please. All the high school shit was just a boiling pot, and everyone was a loser, but some pretended they weren’t. And some were better at pretending than others. It’s not changed, just different. You’re not wrong for feeling things you felt before, you’re the same guy, just different.”

“That makes no sense,” Sapnap told him.

Techno shrugged. 

“Doesn't have to. Nothing really does.”

“Yeah, George is in,” George’s roommate, Wilbur, said at the door to the dorm, “Why? You want to come see him?”

Sapnap felt out of place outside the dorm, and even though he’d texted George asking if he could come over, having George send his roommate down to get him only succeeded in giving the man a power trip. 

“Didn't George send you to come get me?”

“He did. Doesn't mean I can't be protective of _my_ room.”

“George was right,” Sapnap said, but when he refused to elaborate Wilbur squinted at him.

“I’m not sure why George wants to see you. Did he mention he was ill?”

“He did.” Sapnap had the cold medicine in his bag to prove it. 

“So why are you here? You want to catch it too? Go through your remaining essays and exams with it?”

“Dude just let me in,” Sapnap said with a sigh, “I need to talk to him privately, and he said I could, and he said you wouldn't be here.”

Wilbur huffed but stepped aside, having to duck his head to get out of the doorframe, but it let Sapnap slip inside the dorm with ease. 

“Second floor, door nine,” Wilbur said, “Make sure you knock.”

“Okay, thanks,” Sapnap said with a roll of his eyes, and Wilbur closed the door to the dorm. 

He felt a bit like an imposter, walking the halls which were not made for him, but the stairwell was empty as he trudged up them and the walls were both bare and clean. The lights overhead, almost neon white, made everything feel far more washed out than they had to be, and the old carpet lining the floors only reminded Sapnap of the marks on his own back from the night before. He tried to settle his breathing as he came up to the second floor, and he went through the fire door and into the hallway. Rooms twelve and eleven were opposite each other, and the rest of them staggered further down the hall, and Sapnap walked down them quickly in case someone opened theirs and asked him what he was doing there. Room nine had a poster of some musician on it, along with a sticker of, for some reason, a fish, but he tried not to think about it as he knocked. He had bigger things to worry about now.

“Who is it?” George’s voice, almost unrecognisable from how croaky it was, floated through the door. It sounded, somehow, teasing.

“George? It’s Sapnap.”

“Oh, come in!” 

Sapnap twisted the door handle and shouldered open the door, hearing the mechanism inside click as the door handle went back into its normal position. His eyes immediately went to where George was laying on his bed. He hadn't seen George in casual clothes yet, and with his covers kicked off and his body splayed out, Sapnap had ample opportunity to watch the way George’s chest rose and fell beneath his black t-shirt. His feet were bare too, pale in comparison to his arms and face, and Sapnap closed the door behind him when George smiled. 

“Welcome to my humble abode,” he said when Sapnap took a couple of steps inside, “I’m sorry about Wilbur’s shit being everywhere. That guy lives like an atomic bomb.”

“It’s cool,” Sapnap said as he walked around a pile of expensive looking shoes, “I’m pretty sure this is cleaner than most places around campus.”

“True.”

George sat up in bed and he swung his legs around so that his bare feet were on the floor, and he patted the sheets beside him, indicating to Sapnap that he should sit. Sapnap did so, and he left a couple of inches between them on the bed. The sheets were purple, and for some reason that surprised Sapnap – he’d always thought of George being more of a blue kind of guy, but that just showed what he knew. 

“What did you want to talk about?” George said, his voice sounding rough, “you seemed… I don't know, meaning always gets lost over text but, yeah. It seemed like you were upset or it was important or something.”

Sapnap paused for a second before sighing, looking at Wilbur’s scattered belongings all over the room as he tried to find the words he was looking for. He could feel George trying not to ask, but he distracted himself by pulling the cold medicine out of his bag, which George quietly thanked him for before going to his dresser and grabbing a bottle of water. The sound of the foil packaging and the water bottle being opened were the only sounds in the room for a second, but then rain started to hit the window in shallow sounding ‘thunk’s. Sapnap could tell that George wanted answers, but for a second all he did was watch and listen to the rain fall. 

“I think I fucked up,” Sapnap said quietly. 

George didn't say anything for a moment, but his posture straightened as Sapnap said it. It was impossible to tell if George already knew what Sapnap was referring to. 

“How come?” George asked when he came to sit back down.

Even after drinking some water his voice croaked. Sapnap closed his eyes and wished he hadn't, since even though he knew it was just George being unwell, it sounded like he was already halfway to crying. The guilt ate at his insides, like something alive, and he tried to muster up the courage to continue talking. 

“I…” Sapnap trailed off. 

“Sapnap, are you okay?” George asked, putting a hand on his shoulder in an effort to comfort him, but the touch burned. 

“I think I fucked up, because, uh, Dream and I – “

“Oh,” George said, the emotion in his voice unreadable, “Did you two, like…?”

Sapnap closed his eyes and nodded silently.

“I’m sorry,” he said, feeling his eyes grow wet with tears even though he wasn't the one that should be crying, “I’m sorry, I – “

“No, Sapnap, it’s fine,” George said, but his hand slipped off Sapnap’s shoulder when he stood up.

“It’s not fine. I’ll– I’ll go.”

“No, Sapnap, please just listen for a second,” George said, and for some reason Sapnap stopped. 

Like he could tell Sapnap was thirteen seconds from seeing himself out, he talked quickly.

“You didn't fuck up,” he said, desperately, “We should have told you sooner, and I _told_ Dream not to get involved in this. No, no please don't cry. I told Dream not to get involved because he acts instead of talks like an idiot and gets into messes like this. See, Dream and I, we’re – “

“God,” Sapnap raised a hand to his face. 

“- We’re in a relationship, and – “

“George, I’m sorry,” Sapnap said with a gasp, hurrying towards the door, “I’m so sorry.”

“No, Sapnap, wait!”

But Sapnap was already gone. George didn't follow him. 

The door to his dorm slammed as he pushed it open, hitting the wall beside it and shaking within its frame, but Sapnap didn't pay attention to the noise as much as he did closing it again. His face still stung from the cold air and rain outside, not helped at all by the wet streaks of tears sliding down his face, and he didn't make it to his bed before collapsing on the floor. He seized a breath, rattling inside his chest and coming out in a sob, and he pulled his knees up to his chest to hide his face. 

He couldn't get his breathing steady, too focused on everything and nothing. His ribs hurt, and his knees, and his lower back. Everything just ached and he could feel the moisture prickling his cheeks as they slid down and into the collar of his jumper. He pressed his face into the crook of his own elbow, letting his eyes force themselves closed as he tried to breathe, breathe, breathe. No amount of telling himself to get a grip changed it though, and he stuttered through another round of hiccups to try and get some air. 

It was just his luck, wasn't it? It was just his fucking luck.

Not only had they been fucking with him, they had been _mutually_ doing it, too. Sapnap tried to breathe through his nose but couldn't, too busy pressing his hands to his forehead and putting his fingers into his wet hair. 

The guilt was no longer as strong, though, knowing that he had been played with, and instead it turned into a bitter collection of anger and frustration. He had been told college would be better, and yet here he was. Now that it had happened here, it was far, far worse. 

And it was worse in every way possible. Instead of it being one manipulative, conniving idiot, it was two. Instead of it being for the last two years of high school, it was about to be all four of his college years. Every assessment on the mandatory courses meant that he’d have to interact with them again at some point, meant that he’d have to see their faces and talk to them, maybe even work with them. Sapnap’s stomach ached at the thought, and while his breathing had begun to calm down, his thoughts still sloshed from side to side in his skull like flotsam on an ocean. He drew a shaky breath. 

Then, the jangling of keys. Bad stood in the doorway, the light of the hallway coming through the door in a thick, unbroken slab. 

“Oh, god, Sappy. Are you alright?”

Sapnap squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to anything out there that Bad was going to turn himself around and walk straight out the door again, but unfortunately he heard the other man close the door behind him and walk over the floor. Bad’s hand didn't reach out to touch him but Sapnap still pulled himself into a tighter ball.

“Sapnap, did something happen? Do I need to call someone for you? Or – or do you want me to go?”

He didn't know what made him speak out so suddenly, but Sapnap’s hand grabbed at Bad’s arm, getting a handful of his sleeve.

“Stay,” he demanded, and Bad didn't move.

It took a few minutes for Sapnap’s breathing to calm down, but now that the unspoken barrier between them had been shattered, Bad didn't hesitate in putting a hand on Sapnap’s and brushed his thumb over the knuckles. Sapnap could only assume Bad meant it to be a soothing gesture, and in some ways it was, but he had to focus on it being Bad and to try and stop thinking about when George did the same thing in his hair. Eventually, Sapnap pulled his face out of the crook in his elbow and looked over at Bad, who turned his head away from the window to look back. He seemed shaken, almost, as if he had expected Sapnap to never be the one in this situation.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Bad asked gently, but Sapnap shook his head.

“It’s just a dumb mistake. One which I shouldn't have made again.”

“Well,” Bad said, tracing Sapnap’s knuckles again, “I saw Puffy earlier today at the store, uh. She was buying ice cream and I’m sure that, well, if I say you were upset and that you want to see her, I’m sure she’d be willing to bring some over.”

“Just…” Sapnap stopped himself and looked out the window to his right, “I don't know. I kinda want to crawl into a ball and die, Bad.”

“Well, how about this. We invite her over, maybe whoever else you may want to bring too, and we’ll put on a movie! It’ll be, like, it’ll be a movie night for us, and Puffy will probably want to watch something sad and if we do it’ll take your mind off whatever you’re sad about for a little bit?”

Bad said it earnestly, his voice coming across as both hopeful and delicate as if Sapnap could break again at any moment. Sapnap couldn't bring himself to be mad though, too busy wiping the end of his sleeve into his eye to get the crusty-gunky feeling out of it without needing to stand up again. He felt, more so than anything else, cold, although he couldn't tell if it was the remaining water in his hair from the rain or if it was the tears he had just shed taking it out of him. 

“Fine,” Sapnap said, “but I’m going to stay in bed and not move for… forever.”

“Alright Sappy,” Bad said as he went to stand up, “Whatever makes you happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor, poor Sapnap :(  
> Thanks for reading! process on the next chapter is going quite slowly, so there might be a little while between this update and the next one.  
> However, in good news, this fic is actually going to be 12 chapters instead of the aforementioned 11, since I accidentally wrote 'chapter 10' twice so.... yeah? This is also a good place to mention that this is (currently) my second longest fic! Thank you as well for 2k views on this work, and 200 likes. We're almost at 3000 views (how??) so thank you in advance for that too :0  
> Let me know what you guys think, and have a cool week B)


	10. Chapter 10

A week passed. 

Bad went home. Skeppy went home. Puffy and Niki went too. Sapnap could only assume that George and Dream were in a similar situation.

But Sapnap had, for better or for worse, stayed. It was really a debate between being alone at college or being alone back in Seattle, so there wasn't an easy option either way. Well, there was, and it meant staying where he was and saving money for the bus back home for Thanksgiving. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to that either, but at the very least it meant an opportunity to go back to the normality of being a loser and having no-one know his name. 

He was just thankful that most of his midterms had been before the break, aside from the dreaded Theatre Production assessment which had been pushed back, since he couldn't bring himself to leave bed more than strictly necessary. It also meant he didn’t have to juggle the ill-feeling of being alive along with the added pressure of the essays and tests. The world moved on without him now that he didn’t have to try for a while. 

The sun rose and set at different times each day. The air grew cold and thin; an invisible silver tulle, silk, floating in on the northern wind. He kept the window open to let the see-through feeling in, sinking into his lungs and making his breaths grow short. Sapnap left his phone unanswered, aside from a single message to his parents. 

_ College is great :) _

He floated and sank through sleep, weightless and sluggish, and waited quietly for October to end. 

It was Thursday, the week after the break, when Sapnap had to get up. He almost forgot that the midterm for the  _ Theatre and Production _ module had been pushed back until Puffy came to his and Bad’s dorm to try and knock the door down. He didn't focus on it, or really anything else, until Puffy shoved the coffee into his hand and rolled him out of bed. Bad lingered awkwardly in the doorway, watching him. He hadn't been staying in their room.

“You’ll be okay,” Puffy said to him, but he didn't reply. 

Socks, shoes, a change of hoodie, a brush running through his hair, his coat and a cereal bar later, and he and Puffy walked across campus and through the wild weather of Montana in November. It was still early in the month, and yet the air was cold enough to be like any of his Decembers back home. Even though it was around midday, the lights in the quad were on due to the dark clouds smothering the sky, and Sapnap wished that he had brought a scarf.

The walk across campus wasn't long enough, and Sapnap had never thought he would say such a thing, since it was pouring it down with rain and blowing a storm of leaves with each ebb and flow of the wind. The leaves scuttled around their feet like pigeons as they made their way over to the arts building, with Puffy having to occasionally stop to adjust her umbrella, but eventually they made their way inside and into the theatre which their production was being held in. Not many people were inside yet, and Sapnap found himself sitting alone and waiting in the spotlight of the booth. The lamp hummed as Puffy rubbed her hand over his shoulder, before she disappeared into the costume department backstage. 

It was weird being out of the dorm now, and he felt out of place in the position he was supposed to be in as people started milling about back stage, with even the director asking him how he was. Sapnap kept his coffee, now cold, on the table and kicked his bag further beneath the lighting booth. He checked Twitter for the millionth time that day, scrolling up to see if there were any more posts, before he sighed. 

Sapnap threw the cold coffee into the trash before sitting over the lighting booth again, both of his elbows leaning against the wooden section at the front which didn't have any dials or buttons to push. His script was off to one side but he didn't glance at it, too busy going through his ‘following’ page and tapping the button to unfollow people. First to go were his second cousins who he had added four Christmases ago, then the people he had hardly known for more than one or two group projects, the two women who had kids as soon as they left high school, the guys who had married them, the one who bought a restaurant business in town and got one star reviews all the time, the girl who liked horses a bit too much, the guy who might have been a furry, the woman who wanted him to buy her leggings. The list went on and on until he got to the point of having thirty or so people on his list – old friends, a few celebrities, his brother. As if the phone had been spying on him, one of the recommended people to follow was Bad, and he almost felt impolite when he turned his phone off instead of following back. 

It took a while, but George arrived sometime after Puffy had vanished. 

“Hey Sapnap,” George said as he sat down. 

“Hey,” he said back, but didn't say anything more. 

George shoved his backpack beneath the lighting booth, and Sapnap avoided all eye contact with his hands and arms as he adjusted the sliders to be in their resting position, ready for when they’d need to turn them on when the show began. The single lamp, Sapnap knew, was both hiding and exposing his face in the darkness of backstage, and he hoped beyond all else that George felt bad for his actions, or at the very least, didn't care enough to look at him.

He was wearing his denim jacket, the sleeves a little too long and the hem of the collar worn thin. Sapnap thought back to when he had seen Dream wearing it, to when George cradled his head in his hands, and did his best to not think of both. 

But then George drew in a breath – the kind someone would take if they were about to sigh – and he spoke up again. 

“Hey, uh,” he paused, “is it okay if we talk after this? Like, one to one?”

Sapnap didn't respond for a second, but he closed his eyes to stop the rattling thoughts from shaking through his hands.

“Fine,” Sapnap responded.

George turned back to the task at hand, and he sincerely hoped that the frostiness of Sapnap’s single word held him down. It might have been unfair to put it only on George, especially since it had been Dream taking action at the end, but he was angry and he intended to let it show. If George wanted pity from Sapnap, even though he was mad at him, well, he wasn't about to get it. 

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing George said when they found an empty back room, “And Dream nor I should have done what we did.”

Sapnap sat on the table near the rear of the room, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at George. He had his chin pressed almost to his chest, waiting for someone to come in with another prop or to ask them what they were doing in a room alone together, but there wasn't an interruption. George just sighed as he walked away from the entrance, having propped the door open with a doorstop so that, Sapnap suspected, either of them could leave if they wanted or needed to. The air sat, stagnant and stale, between them.

“Yeah,” Sapnap said eventually, and George acted as if it was reason to continue. 

He walked closer to Sapnap, still leaving a space between them as he crossed his arms over his chest as well and leant against the only available wall. Everywhere else around them was filled with old props and bits of set, costumes or old plastic boxes of cables, and each shelf and other surface had a variety of stuff on too. 

“We should have been upfront from the beginning,” George said, and Sapnap turned to actually look at him, “because it wasn't cool of us to continue if you were not cool with it – “

“Wait, wait. Upfront?” 

George nodded.

“About what?” Sapnap asked, “I thought it was obvious. You were trying to, well, you two were fucking with me.”

George blinked at him, straightening his shoulders as if he was about to say something important, but before a sound could leave his mouth the door slid across the carpet, taking the doorstop with it, and it slammed shut. They both jumped at the noise, staring at it as if they didn't know what had just happened, and wordlessly Sapnap got up from the table to walk over and pull at the handle. It didn't budge, and he could hear the click in the door from where the latch had snapped across to lock it properly. They both looked at it, then at one another, and Sapnap took a step back.

“Uh,” George said. 

Sapnap just stared at the door for a second longer, because of course, of  _ course.  _ It was a good thing he wasn't claustrophobic or else he might have had a harder time than he was already trying to remain calm. He just sighed instead of commenting on it though and pulled out his phone.

“I’ll text my friend, Puffy,” Sapnap said, and George pulled out his as well.

He seemed to debate for a second out of the corner of Sapnap’s vision, his thumb hovering over the screen, but without moving it he put it back in his pocket. Sapnap raised an eyebrow at him and George shrugged.

“I was going to message Dream but…”

“Yeah.”

George closed his mouth and looked off to the side, before he slid down the wall he had been leaning on and sat down on the floor. Sapnap looked at the space where George’s trouser leg had rolled up, exposing his sock and a thin sliver of skin before it disappeared under his clothes. The other man took a deep breath through his mouth as Sapnap sat down on the table again, but he didn't have to wonder for long about what George was going to say.

“Dream and I have been in a relationship for a couple of years now,” George started, “but I had always been up front about being more like… interested in multiple people, if that makes sense? There’s a word for it, but I’ve never heard someone say it aloud so I don’t know how to pronounce it. Pol-e-am-more-e or something.”

Sapnap didn't say anything, just watched him watch the door. 

“And I can see now why that might have… been a bit weird for you. I should have been upfront about this, but you reminded me of someone I had a crush on a few years ago, but when Dream asked if they were interested in him or I, they said no. We were laughing on the first day because, well, he was teasing me about it.”

“So, you’re attracted to this person,” Sapnap said, his voice hollow.

“Not any more. I kind of got over it, but Dream and I saw you and we were, you know, I was curious so I talked to you at the library. We’d always been accepting of potentially going out with multiple people at once, but only if it was a three-person thing and not, like… not someone being attracted to Dream but not me, because that wouldn't be fair, right? And when I saw you, I wasn’t attracted to that person I used to like anymore, but I was still interested in knowing you.”

George looked up at him, and it caught Sapnap off guard. He seemed… different somehow, as if the week away had done a number on him in emotional terms, and it made Sapnap fiddle with the string of his hoodie. He didn’t feel bad, necessarily, but just… different. 

“But… yeah. Dream agreed that he’d let me do the talking, but he’s nothing but impulsive, so while his conversation with you started off as friendly, he’s still himself and pestered you in the van.”

“He said sorry,” Sapnap defended without really knowing why.

“I know he did. But it was kind of in the air at that point,” George sighed and paused for a moment, finding his words, “Dream had already come on to you, and I kind of had too, and it was messy. We shouldn’t have put you through that, Sapnap, and I’m sorry for it. Dream is too, but I warned him to stay away from you until we could talk properly.”

Sapnap didn't say anything for a second and George looked away again, looking over at the door as if it was about to magically open up and let them both out, but unfortunately it stayed closed. He could hear the buzz of the overhead light, the noises of something outside the room came from the wall behind him, but no sound came from the door. 

He let the words George said slosh around inside his head for a minute, thinking on his explanation, his reasoning, and how Sapnap somehow fitted into it all. Some small part of his chest ached at the realisation that he might have a chance at becoming something bigger than he was now, but the rest of him, from his clammy skin to his cold toes, wanted nothing more than to be left alone to think for a little while longer. It might have been his own unwashed hair or the tired look in George’s eyes causing it, but regardless, Sapnap came to his conclusion to leave things alone for the time being. 

He took a deep breath, listening to George crack his knuckles out of nervousness from across the room, and let out a sigh.

“Okay,” he said quietly, “I accept your apology. I’m sorry too for, you know, freaking out and not letting you explain.”

“Thank you,” George said, “and it’s okay. I’ll get Dream to leave you alone, too.”

“Would…” Sapnap paused, but George didn't interrupt the space he left, “Would you still… be, well.”

Sapnap didn't continue. George seemed to realise this and opened his mouth, his small, white teeth catching the ugly fluorescent light slightly.

“I would, and I think Dream would.”

“Can… Can I have space for a bit?” Sapnap asked, brushing his finger across the end of his hoodie string, “Just a while. Maybe until after thanksgiving or something. I’m… I’m not sure where I am at the moment.”

George nodded.

“I get you,” he said, “Sometimes you need to think things over, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, uhm. I’ll tell Dream and please,  _ please _ ,” George said it with a smile, “If Dream tries that stuff again you have my permission to hit him.”

Sapnap smiled and shook his head from side to side, but before he could come up with some witty rebuttal, the sound of a key sliding into the door drew both of their attention. The handle swizzled around, before it made almost a crunching noise as the latch was withdrawn and the door opened. 

“Hey, sorry,” Puffy said, “I only just got out of costuming. You know how that teacher is.”

“It’s fine,” Sapnap said.

“Yeah, thank you for coming to get us,” George said too, “It would have been awkward if we had to get the director or someone to come let us out.”

Puffy laughed, but accepted the hug Sapnap gave her with a smile. George lingered a little ways back, his hands shoved into the pockets of his denim jacket, and Sapnap drew back as Puffy walked back towards the door. 

“You guys want to get out of here?” She asked, “I have a show I’d like to catch at nine so I’d appreciate an answer.”

George and Sapnap glanced at one another before looking away, and silently they picked up their things and went their separate ways. 

“Okay,” Puffy asked as she dragged him out of the Arts building and under the roof’s ledge, “What was that?”

“What?” Sapnap asked, sighing at the sight of more rain.

The weather hadn't eased off since she had frog-marched him across campus, but the wind had picked up and the rain turned impossibly icier. The numb feeling inside his shoes hadn't let up since she had let him go at the lighting booth, and even though he felt at least a little better since his last encounter with her, he knew he still looked like shit. Greasy hair and eyebags did not a handsome man make. 

Puffy just raised an eyebrow at him, and before he could say anything along the line of ‘what does that look mean?’ she spoke up.

“Want to go to the store?” she asked, “I need more eyeliner. And a screwdriver.”

“Bad might have a screwdriver if you don't want to buy one,” Sapnap said, voice mild, “what do you need it for?”

“Girl things.”

“Just girly things?”

She laughed, “No. Niki, well, I accidentally broke Niki’s chair, but I do want to keep one in the van as a ‘just in case’ thing, you know?”

“No.”

“Shut up. Do you want to go to the store or not? I’m driving so you can get the heavy stuff if you want.”

Sapnap sighed, closing his eyes as he felt the spray of the rain against his face, and he opened them again to look at her.

“I could do with picking up a few things, but you’re driving the cart.”

She snorted and stepped out into the rain, “Come on.”

“Now that you’re trapped with me,” Puffy said as she pulled the shopping cart out from the place they were kept, “What was that? Was that the George guy you said had been fucking with you?”

Sapnap ignored her and instead threw his backpack into the cart. Before she could say anything or put her own in there too, Sapnap got in. Puffy stared down at him for a second, seeing how he was wrapped up in his own limbs and kicking one of his feet out towards the end of the cart, before she sighed and started pushing him into the store. 

“Are you five?” She asked, waiting for the automatic doors to open properly. 

“Why? Are you jealous?”

“A little, yeah. I haven't sat down since ten o’clock this morning.”

Sapnap shuffled lower into the cart, his hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie, but she didn't say anything else. 

It was dark outside now, and with both of their shoulders dampened from the weather, the heated insides of the supermarket was a welcomed feeling. Puffy’s wet sneakers squeaked on the tiled floor as she moved the cart, and Sapnap could already tell that it was one with a messed-up wheel as they skidded over to the stationary section at the very start of the store. Puffy pushed him to the highlighters and stopped to look at the black pens and post-it notes. 

“I don't know what you mean,” Sapnap said as he pulled some coloured pens into the cart. 

“Was that guy you were talking to the same ‘George’ that upset you the other week?” She asked, “The one I took an oath to destroy should I ever meet him in person.”

Sapnap snorted and tried to grab a notebook, but Puffy was pushing them onwards. 

“You failed your mission,” he said, “because yeah.”

“Did your talk go well at least? I didn't see any tears.”

“It was… it was fine,” he said, drawing out the ‘E’ at the end of ‘fine’.

Puffy stopped the cart in front of a selection of clothes, and while Sapnap looked at the clothes for a second, wondering what she was doing looking at kids clothes, before he tilted his head up as far as he could and made eye contact with her. She stared down at him for a second, her head and brown hair obscuring the lights in the ceiling, before he realised what she meant. 

“It was fine. Look, he apologised and cleared things up, I said sorry for freaking out, and it’s cool now.”

“So are they leaving you alone now?” She asked, and Sapnap tilted his head down again. 

“I don't know.”

She came around the side of the cart and he turned his head away. She turned around the other side and he turned back again.

“Sapnap,” she said, “I don't want you to get hurt, okay?”

“I know,” he said quietly.

“So, I want to know now, are these two guys going to leave you alone?”

Sapnap sighed. For a second neither of them said anything, but then Puffy began to shove the cart forward again. Before Sapnap could say anything, Puffy threw a jumper into the cart and Sapnap had to cough around a few stray fibres that floated up into his throat. She kept moving them onward until they reached the fresh fruit, and when she stopped the cart, Sapnap grabbed a bunch of white grapes.

“This is the thing,” Sapnap said as she put some strawberries into the cart, “George said it was a… a thing.”

“Uh-huh…”

“He said he and Dream were, well, they knew a guy who supposedly looked like me who George had a crush on. That’s why they were, you know – “

“That’s no reason to treat you unfairly,” Puffy said and pushed him forwards again, “It’s not like you asked to look like that guy, and it’s not like – “

“Puffy, they never intended to treat me like that,” Sapnap said and turned his body in the cart to look at her properly, “it was a misunderstanding.”

“Of what?”

She and Sapnap maintained eye contact for a second, with neither of them saying anything. From the look on Puffy’s face, she wasn't taking his statement seriously, as if she didn't expect him to take care of himself properly or was anticipating an unsatisfactory answer. 

“Puffy,” Sapnap said, “I get that, you know, you’re defensive about this situation but calm down.”

“Sapnap – “

“No, Puffy. Listen, okay? We’re kinda… taking a break from seeing one another as friends because I need to think, but I don't want you trying to protect me from them. I’ve delt with this before and yeah, I made the mistake again, but I have this, okay?” He paused and looked at her, “I just… I need to work this out by myself for now. You know I make those snap decisions about people, and I did with these guys, and that’s what you’re sort of doing now. But I promise they’re different. We’re just… George agreed to give me space, and he said I could always hit Dream if he tries shit. I doubt he will – he’s learnt that lesson once already – but you know.”

Puffy seemed as if she was holding her breath, but a few short seconds after Sapnap had finished she breathed out, and he could feel the rush of hot air over his cheek as she did so. She stopped leaning against the cart and started to push it again.

“Alright Sapnap,” she said, “You’re the boss.”

“I’ll call and sob and tell you that you were right if this doesn't work out.”

“Call me if you need me to run one of them over, too,” she said, and cracked a smile, “I’m here for you.”

Sapnap smiled and sunk deeper into his hoodie, letting the edge of the hood slide up and cover his mouth. The hoodie smelt like his dorm room, but not in a good way, and Puffy pushed them down the cosmetics and body wash aisle as if she had read his mind. Or maybe she had just smelt him.

“Hey,” she said, looking at the eyeliner, “This just reminded me. Did you think any more about the charity auction thing we’re doing?”

Sapnap didn't say anything for a moment as she threw the eyeliner into the cart and moved them towards the shampoo. The wheel on the cart made a noise of protest as she stopped again. He grabbed a bottle of soap, apparently one than smelt of rosemary, and put it near his feet before grabbing some shampoo as well. 

“Not really.”

“We’re still looking for participants, if you want to. Like I said,” she continued, “you’d be a welcome addition.”

“Look, Puffy,” he sighed, “I don't know what’s going on with those two, and I don't know how they’d react to me going out with someone in the meantime, and I don't want to upset them, and –” 

“Wait,” she said, “how about you just tell them you might do this thing.”

He paused.

“Why?”

“Tell them it’s for charity.”

“Puffy, I’m still not getting what you mean.”

“Just, like,” she paused, trying to find her words, “It’s a case of ‘I still love you’ blah blah blah ‘I’m just doing this for charity’ sort of thing. Like an explanation. Blame it on me if you have to, and like I said, I’ll pay you back.”

Sapnap leaned his head against the handle of the cart as Puffy started the push it again, and he felt her knuckles in his hair and the vibrations from the faulty wheel as she pushed him around. Without thinking about it, he reached out with a stray hand and grabbed a pack of crackers and threw it into the cart, just before Puffy put a box of cereal on top of him, too. 

“I’ll do it,” Sapnap said, “On one condition.”

“Uh-huh,” she put another box into the cart on top of him, and he shook his leg to send it off to one side, “what might that be?”

“I get to tell those two, and you buy my groceries.”

She paused. 

“Sure. Only if it’s less than thirty bucks.”

“Forty.”

“Thirty-five.”

Sapnap pressed his lips together at the offer before pulling a pack of Oreos into the cart as well.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I have proof read most of this chapter but I got distracted at the end. This is also the chapter I forgot about so that's cool I guess.  
> We're almost at the end now, so thank you again for reading! Thank you as well for over 3.5k hits (WOW) and 60 (60!!!!!!) comments! I'm really happy that you've taken the time not only to read my fic but give me so much positive feedback, and it means the world to me that so many people have left such wonderful comments too.  
> The next chapter should hopefully be up on Sunday, although it might end up being monday due to university starting up for me again soon. Please be patient, but this fic WILL be finished in February.  
> Thanks again, and let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

A movie played in the background, one of Bad’s picks which was surprisingly not too bad for being a made in the 60’s, an old-timey romance, but then again Sapnap wasn't entirely sure if it was a romance considering how everyone kept talking over it. 

Gummy Worms were spread across the floor. Popcorn, Skittles and M&Ms, a few Twizzlers here and there, a half-eaten bar of chocolate that Niki had brought, an opened bottle of diet Pepsi, a full bottle of Sprite, some chips spilling out of a bag. Sapnap could identify it all and might have been able to ignore it if he hadn't seen Skeppy shoving a Warhead, blue raspberry, into Techno’s Jolly Ranchers when he wasn't looking. When Skeppy made eye contact with Sapnap immediately afterwards, Sapnap just looked back to the screen.

“I hate this movie,” Niki said with a mouthful of popcorn, “It always gives me such false hope.”

“How come?” Bad asked, “I really like it. The mood, the atmosphere, the message – it’s my perfect film!” 

“I think it’s dumb,” Techno said.

“You’re only here for the food,” Sapnap said, “Remember?”

“I can still be critical.”

“Bad, if this is your ideal film it makes me wonder what the music in your car sounds like,” Skeppy said as he hung his head backwards off the side of Bad's bed and looked down at him, “Do you listen to ABBA?”

“It’s just  _ Happy _ on repeat,” Puffy grabbed one of the sodas, “You know the one that was popular in like 2015?”

“When are you guys going home?” Niki asked out of nowhere, “For Thanksgiving, I mean.”

There was a small pause, with the movie playing in the background, and for once Sapnap could actually hear what the protagonist was saying.

‘ _ Oh Jeremy, I have always loved you.’ _

_ ‘Not as much as I love you, Amelia – ‘ _

“That Wednesday, I think,” Puffy said, her voice muffled around a Twizzler, “You?”

“Tuesday, or tomorrow. Is it really Monday already? I need to fly back home tomorrow night.”

“Bad and I are going on Wednesday, too,” Skeppy said, stretching his leg out and almost kicking over a bottle of soda.

“Wait, you and Bad?” Sapnap asked.

Techno shoved a handful of chips into his mouth and the chewing made the beginning of Bad’s answer become lost, along with whatever was happening on screen.

“-just. It seemed easier, and we were going in the same direction anyway, so it made sense!”

“He’s coming to mine,” Skeppy supplied helpfully, “My mom really wants to meet him.”

“Sounds good,” Techno said. 

“You never said,” Sapnap pointed at Bad.

Skeppy put an arm around him and stuck his tongue out at him as Bad sputtered some response to Sapnap, but Puffy nor Niki seemed surprised, and Techno was impossible to read at the best of times, it seemed. Sapnap just made a note in his head to talk to Bad about it later, but for the meantime he turned back to the screen.

“How about you, Sappy?” Bad asked when a quiet scene was playing out on screen. 

“Huh?”

“When are you heading home?”

He paused for a second and continued to look at the screen. The protagonist was walking down a street with her love interest by her side, and she was looking at anything other than his face. He chewed the Twizzler sticking out of his mouth, like a piece of straw being eaten by a camel, but he pulled it from his mouth a second later when the thought had crossed his mind. 

“Not sure,” he said, “I haven't booked the bus tickets yet.”

“You’re taking a bus?”

“Coach, whatever. I haven't heard if my parents will be back by then either, so I’m just waiting to hear something.”

“Oh,” Bad said before trailing off. 

“Yeah, I don't know if they’re coming back at all, considering how they were too busy last year,” Sapnap continued as he pulled out his phone, “For all I know, I might just stay here. Seems easier.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Puffy said and put a hand on his knee, “You’re more than welcome to come and spend it with my family and I. We always invite over as many people as possible, so you won't be the only one.”

“Thanks but…” Sapnap sighed, “Yeah. I think I could just go home for the sake of it, if worst comes to worst. Thanks for the offer though, really.”

“Keep it in mind,” Puffy said.

‘ _ Oh Jeremy _ ’, the woman on screen was gazing up into the man’s eyes, her dark hair spilling out over her shoulders like a curtain drawn back to reveal her face. Her eyes sparkled, mouth dark. ‘ _ Oh Jeremy, my sweet. How could I live without you? How could I love? _ ’

_ ‘Even when I’m gone, Amelia, I will walk my phantom steps with you.’ _

Sapnap looked down at his phone as the two black-and-white people came together in a kiss, and he waited to see if he’d get a response from his parents that night. The screen stayed dark, and all Sapnap could see were his own eyes in the black mirror. 

“Alright, show time,” Puffy said as he sat in front of her mirror, “You just got to walk out there, Niki will ask you a couple of, like, dumb generic questions and you have to giggle and be flirty and smile a lot, and you’ll make the charity millions. You know the president? Becca? She said we could start the bids on you for a hundred and twenty-five.”

“That’s a lot,” Sapnap winced as she pulled his hair through the comb again, “And can you be gentler? That hurts.”

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just – “ She paused as she sucked in a breath through her teeth, “I’m nervous  _ for _ you, you know? I’m worried, and I really appreciate you being here and everything, but I’m just so worried that some dumb frat boy is going to get you and be a total dick about it.”

“I’ll be okay,” Sapnap promised her, “and besides, like you said, I just have to keep up the act for one night. Are we almost done?”

Puffy and Niki’s room was in a greater state of disarray since the last time he had been in there around a month and a half ago, but it seemed excusable considering how both of them had half-packed suitcases spilling their contents out over the floor like the insides of dead animals. That was a little gruesome, he thought in hindsight, and thought of something else instead, the purple and pink scarf one of them had hung up on the wall, or the smell of burning hair from where Puffy blow dried and doused his with hairspray earlier. It didn't mix well with the pomegranate perfume she had sprayed him with, but at the very least he was in his own shirt this time and not one of Puffy’s. It was a dark red colour, not quite maroon but more like wine, and he had the sleeves down completely so that they didn't ride up when he put his coat, his own coat, on. The black fabric wasn't quite the same leather as Dream’s had been, nor the rough denim of George’s, but it was his and that was enough. 

He had a familiar feeling, not quite Deja Vu, but a distinct impression that something like this would happen again. There was probably a word for that, too. 

Puffy brushed her hands through his hair again, trying to tussle it in such a way that she found acceptable, and even though he had fixed the facial hair he had managed to grow in the week off they had all had, she didn't seem to think any of it was quite right. He wasn't exactly surprised – nothing ever seemed to be quite right. 

“Okay, last thing,” Puffy said as the comb clattered on the table next to the mirror, and he blinked as she held something up for him to see.

Eyeliner.

“No,” he said. 

“Just a little,” she said, uncapping it.

“No,” he said again and leaned back so that she couldn't put it on him, and she sighed and pulled back as he stood up.

“Come  _ on _ , I bought it especially for this! You remember me taking you to the store the other day? All that, for this!” 

“You should have asked first,” he said as he went over to the window, which was on the opposite side of the room to her, “It would have saved you the disappointment.”

Puffy huffed and shook her head, her frizzy brown hair shaking from side to side with the movement as well, before she let the eyeliner clatter to the surface of the table as well. 

“Just a little,” she begged, “Come on. It’ll make your eyes look bigger, and you won't even be able to tell why.”

Sapnap glanced between her and the small tube of eyeliner on the table, and the back to her again. Puffy raised an eyebrow, looking at him with her arms crossed over her chest and with her mouth tilting down slightly as if she was displeased with his actions. He had never worn eyeliner, or much makeup at all, for that matter, but the idea of having something pointy near to his eyes wasn't an appealing thought. Puffy tapped her foot on the carpeted floor.

“We have fifteen minutes before we need to be in the hall,” she said. 

“And I have fifteen minutes to avoid your eyeliner.”

“It’s a good thing I’m standing between you and the door then,” she smiled, picking up the eyeliner again, “now hold still.”

She’d only managed to poke him in the eye twice in the end, and much to his relief, there were not any cat-eyes on his face when she pulled the brush back. 

“That was terrible,” he said, and fought the urge to rub his eyes, “god, how do you deal with that?”

Puffy leant near the refreshments table at the back of the hall that the auction was being held in, and Sapnap hadn't realised that their sorority house  _ had _ a hall, let alone one that was suitable to hold so many people. Puffy had a drink in her hand, just a can of cola, and Sapnap watched as she tried to blend into the crowd even with her blue sorority house hoodie. Niki was across the room, a bunch of papers in her hand and standing next to a table with various things on it, some of which he could recognise, but most of it was too obscured by the crowd. 

There seemed to be an equal mix of men and women milling about, with the ten or so people who were being ‘auctioned’ (something about selling people didn't exactly sit right with him, but it was all in good fun, so he brushed it aside) moving around the room too. Some of them he recognised slightly – a girl he had seen in the sorority house’s kitchen when Puffy had invited him over, a guy he’d seen in the library one time and recognised the keychain on his bag, someone else with short hair and black lipstick – but he didn't know any of them. What he did recognise were the pride flags on the far wall, stating without words that anyone was welcome unless they were not okay with that fact. 

A hand brushed his shoulder and he jumped, but when Sapnap turned to look, Niki smiled back at him.

“You’re on third,” she said, “Puffy, can you make sure he gets to the table when the second person is up?”

“Sure, how long until we start?”

“Soon.”

Sapnap watched as Niki went to the table and grabbed a drink as well, and Puffy just nodded as Niki wandered off again.

“You good?” she asked a second later, “you seemed to be in your own head for a second there.”

“Yeah, just… yeah.”

Puffy shrugged.

“I’m just going to check with Becca about the starting bids, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Sapnap nodded and a moment later she was gone. Deep breath in, deep breath out. He pulled his phone from his pocket to see if there were any new messages, but the home screen of his phone didn't have any new notifications to display, and part of him felt a little too hasty in hindsight when it came to unfollowing all those people on Twitter and uninstalling Facebook. It had been awfully quiet since he had put himself on the artificial break from social media, and yet his text messages, the ones he couldn't help but receive or answer should they come through, remained silent. His last message to George stayed unanswered, which he had half-expected considering their agreement to give it a break, but the slow coolness of panic was seeping into his bones when he realised the knight in shining armour he had been hoping to rely on turned out to be a bit too noble. 

He thumbed his way through Twitter, liking a post by an old friend without really thinking about it and looking numbly at a webpage he’d had open for the past two years and had never returned to. 

Puffy appeared again and stood beside him, leaning against the wall and watching the proceedings as the auction began. It felt disrespectful to keep his phone out, even though this wasn't a lecture or some kind of speech, so he tucked his phone back into the pocket of his coat. 

First up was a girl who had perfected the blonde, air-headed look, and she was wearing a little too much eye shadow. Niki gave a brief mention of what subject she was majoring in, along with asking her a couple of questions about herself and what kind of date she was interested in going on, before she started the bidding at eighty-five dollars. It was fairly obvious why she had been chosen to go up first, since she was attractive in a traditional sense and seemed to have the confidence to match, and while bidding had started slow, she raised a hundred and eighty by the time she stepped down into the arms of another woman, brunette. 

Puffy pulled his arm as the second person stepped up, this time a man with short, gelled hair. He gave his best smile to the audience as Niki again read out some stuff about him – heterosexual, interested in hiking and football, and majoring in history. Puffy pulled Sapnap around to the edge of the platform they were using to advertise the people selling themselves off, where Niki and the guy were currently standing, and Sapnap looked around the circle of a hundred or so people watching on. A red-haired girl at the front seemed displeased to see the guy up there, but after starting the bid off at seventy-five and earning a hundred and ten, the guy stepped down and grinned at the woman with an afro who had earned him. 

Niki turned around and put her arm out, and with some hesitation, Sapnap put his own in hers and let her do the talking. 

“Okay! Up next with a starting bid of hundred and twenty-five, Sapnap! Majoring in theatre, Sapnap is used to the drama and will happily go out with anyone here, and so ladies and gentlemen, any of you are able to help our cause and go out on a date with this wonderful man!”

Playing up to the audience, Sapnap put his arms out as if to say ‘come and get me’, and he grinned with some shyness at the whoops and hollers that came from around the room. He could see Niki sending him an encouraging smile too before she continued with the spiel. 

“Starting off at one hundred and twenty-five, can I get a hundred and twenty-five?”

A few hands raised in the audience, their laminated and numbered papers catching in the light as Niki pointed to the first one that broke through the throng of people. 

“A hundred and twenty-five taken, anyone for one hundred and thirty?”

Another hand, then two, and Sapnap tried to keep smiling as the money went up and up. He glanced around at the audience of strangers, thinking about everything and nothing, but unlike being on the rooftop with George or in the library with Dream, the guiding waters of sitting back and waiting for it to roll out didn't sound like a good idea now. But before Sapnap could make a decision or a move he would regret, he saw the top a familiar head.

He held his breath, looking out into the crowd as the money went up, and as Niki asked for their next bidder, he recognised the sleeve of that denim jacket. 

“One hundred and eighty-five to the man in the denim jacket,” she pointed at George, “calling for one-ninety?”

Sapnap watched him like a hawk, but the crowd was too thick for him to see who the other person bidding was. There was only one of them now, only one other person between Sapnap and his knight in shining armour, but they kept it up. George was trying to see who it was too, almost as if he suspected…

The next bid went up. Sapnap knew that jacket. 

“Two-hundred to the man in the leather jacket!” Niki pointed at Dream, “Two-hundred and five!”

Sapnap looked at George, but George couldn't see Dream, and he was helpless as Dream raised his hand again. The bidding continued, the money going up gradually in fives until it reached two-hundred and fifty, and Sapnap could see George with his lip between his teeth. Sapnap tried to make George see him, to make him understand the situation, but he had to keep up the act he had been presented with and George just let his mouth slant to one side and shrug. Before Niki announced the winner, George disappeared into the crowd. 

It was a blur for a few moments. He was guided off of the platform and near to the table where the president was sitting next to the money box, and he could feel Puffy’s hand on his shoulder as she moved him over there. When he looked up, however, he couldn't help himself but laugh slightly as Dream smiled at him.

“Heya stranger,” Dream said, “How have you been these past four weeks?”

“Has it really been four weeks?” he asked, “I swear I saw you only a few days ago.”

“Spying on me when I wasn't looking, huh?” Dream asked, “but yeah. It has been four weeks if you’re including the week off. It’s felt like months.”

“Technically, it has been. A month, I mean.”

Before Dream could say anything further though, Puffy appeared by Sapnap’s side and looked between the two. Dream waited patiently for her to say something, and eventually she did.

“If you hurt him again I’m running you over.”

“I’d expect nothing less,” Dream said with a smile, a genuine one that made the corners of his eyes wrinkle, “and besides, he’s not for me.”

“Huh?” Sapnap snapped to look at him.

“I’m giving you to George,” Dream explained, “And I hope you’re okay with that because he’s been pissed off with me for the past month, too.”

“As he should,” Puffy said, “but now that you’re all paid up, you two can both go if you want, or stay and enjoy the rest of the auction if you fancy turning a three into a four.”

“I think I’d get too jealous,” Sapnap admitted, and Dream laughed.

Without another moment of hesitation, Dream took Sapnap by his hand and guided him through the crowd and to the refreshments table on the far side of the room, and Sapnap could see clearly through the thinning group of people. George watched the next person on the platform with some token interest but no real investment, and he didn't look up until Dream appeared a metre or so away from him.

“Oh fuck you,” George said when Dream dragged him over, and all Sapnap could do was crack an awkward smile.

“Behold, a gift.”

Sapnap put a hand on his face in embarrassment as Dream gestured to him, both of his hands out and smiling like a demon, but George could just look between them both, exasperated and tired-looking. 

“Dream, I swear – “

“For you!”

“I know, but what the hell! I said I was going to save him from date-hell, and here you are – “

“Saving him, too.”

“No, here you are dragging the bid up unnecessarily.”

Sapnap spoke up, “I mean, it’s for a good cause?”

“It’s for a good cause,” Dream repeated as if it made it okay, “ _ and _ I did it for both of you.”

George pressed a hand to his face, pinching his brows as if he had a headache, and Sapnap tried to hold back his laugh as Dream just grinned at him. Sapnap, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, smiled back at Dream slightly.

“Thank you. Both of you,” he said, letting Dream swing their hands back and forth.

“We’re your prince charmings,” Dream said, “and you’re our princess.”

“Oh please,” George snorted as he finally looked back up at them, and Sapnap could see the faint outline of a smile on his face, “I’m prince charming, Sapnap’s the princess, and you’re my faithful steed.”

“I could make a million jokes about riding-“

“Please don’t.”

Dream stuck his tongue out and Sapnap shook his head with a laugh. He heard the next person being auctioned off behind him, and Niki’s accent announcing the next person up on stage, and he wondered if Puffy would get to know how much they raised and whether she’d be willing to tell them. Before he could say anything, however, a smaller, cold hand slipped into his.

In the room the people came and went, their voices muffled as Sapnap refused to focus on anything else. 

“Let’s get out of here,” George said, and his face was close.

Sapnap looked at Dream and saw the same amount of distance between him and George, and he had to resist the urge to take a step back and away from them both. It wasn't often that he had been in a situation like this – one where the teasing was well-meaning and the flirtatious looks meant more than a passing attraction. It was almost overwhelming when he thought about the heat in Dream’s palm compared to the chill in George’s fingers, and without another word, the other two took his hand and led him forwards through the evening. 

Mid-November was harsh at the best of times and alienating at worst, and as the three of them made their way through the front doors of the Alpine Alphas Sorority house Sapnap couldn't help but shudder when the cold air hit him. The wind had eased slightly since that morning, and yet the lingering breeze fluttered through Dream’s long hair and painted George’s cheeks pink, and the remaining clouds meandered from east to west. The sky was lavender, with the edges of buildings turning orange as the sun made its way downwards to die where they couldn't see it. It was only four pm, and yet with the approaching winter the nights drew in closer every day, and Sapnap watched as a nearby puddle rippled from a stray drop of rain. 

“How about,” George said, as if sensing his unwillingness to make a plan, “we go to the store, get some candy and some soda, get take-out from somewhere and head to mine? We can watch a movie on my laptop or something if you guys are up for it.”

“My roommate has gone home already,” Dream piped up, “We could go to mine if you’d rather avoid Wilbur.”

“Oh, yes. Please. Is that alright with you, Sapnap?”

They looked at him for a second, with George smiling slightly and Dream’s eyes flickering to him and away again like a nervous butterfly, and Sapnap tilted his head down slightly when their attention turned to him.

“Yeah, uh. Sounds good to me.”

“Before we do that,” Dream stopped and let go of his hand, “I believe this is yours.”

Without another word, Dream took off his leather jacket and handed it over to Sapnap, but before he could accept or decline the offer George took it out of his hand and made a noise of disapproval. 

“No, it’s my turn,” he said. 

George put Dream’s jacket between his legs so that he could take off his own denim one. He laid the jacket into Sapnap’s arms and put on the leather one again, and wordlessly, Sapnap took off his own coat and let Dream take it, hiding his smile as he put on George’s warm denim jacket. It was colder than his coat, but considering how lanky Dream was, the other man probably needed it more. Or at least that’s what Sapnap told himself as Dream grinned down at him.

“I got the coat,” Dream said to George with a teasing smile.

“I get it next time.”

“Sure,” Dream walked off and down the pavement, the one Sapnap knew led to the road leading alongside campus, “if you can pry it off my cold, dead corpse. This obviously means that Sapnap loves me more.”

“Is he always like this?” Sapnap asked, then corrected, “no, actually, I’ve only ever seen him like this.”

“He is always like this,” George agreed, and they started walking after him.

Dream’s, Sapnap’s, coat looked a little too big for him. The sleeves were long enough and it fit in the shoulders, but the fit of it around the middle was slightly too lax and hung down over his slim hips. The olive-green t-shirt Dream had been wearing matched it well though, and Sapnap couldn't find it in him to be mad when the smell of George’s denim jacket washed over him with every step. The smell of some kind of soap was the most distinct smell, almost generic in scent but still oddly fitting as the slightly shorter man walked beside him, and Sapnap could see how George’s fingertips poked out of the end of the leather jacket. 

His heart beat in time with his steps, slowing down then Dream turned to look at them under a streetlight, and it turned on above him as if he had willed it to do so. The three of them looked up at the light, and Sapnap swore that he could see the faintest pin-pricks of stars sticking out from the violet hue of the coming night. 

“Has it really been four weeks since we last saw one another?” Sapnap asked when he and George had caught up to Dream.

“I think so,” he said, “but time has really flown since then. And dragged. It’s been both at once, kinda.”

“There was the week where everything got messed up, then the week off,” George listed them on his fingers as they made their way down the stairs to the street, “and the week where you and I agreed to give each other space, and then the Thursday theatre class this week is cancelled so… not quite four weeks? More like three and a half.”

Dream took Sapnap’s hand in his own again, like he couldn't keep his hands off him for more than a few minutes at a time, and he tucked their hands together into his, Sapnap’s, coat pocket. When Sapnap looked at him with a slight smile, Dream's cheeks turned darker and he hid his face beneath his fringe. 

“I thought you were the bold one,” Sapnap said.

“No, I am,” George smiled, “Dream is good at acting without words, but when it comes down to it…”

“No, I’m the bold one,” Dream said, “I’m just… not sure what to say. Is this our first date?”

George made a sputtering sound like a car that wouldn't start, and Sapnap laughed as Dream bumped his shoulder. 

“I’d like it to be,” Dream amended, and George or Sapnap didn’t correct him.

With the cold air making his lungs feel tight and the general excitement of the day being replaced with a giddy kind of feeling of relief, Sapnap didn't feel bad for laughing and generally feeling the best he had in weeks. The last time he had felt this sure of himself and so sanguine had been… years ago. Even the moment with George on the rooftop had been filled with nerves and worries about whether the other man had felt the same way, and even with the lofty afterglow with Dream in the library (before it had crashed down on him, mind you) paled in comparison to the easy-going emotions swimming through his blood stream now. 

George hummed to himself as he walked. Dream’s thumb went over Sapnap’s knuckles as he held his hand captive in the coat’s pocket. Sapnap looked up at the stars and walked the painless streets back to the store where he had first met Dream. He had a hankering for sugar, fast food, and good company, and it felt like it was Christmas because he’d be getting all three.

The light behind the store’s sign was still broken, but the doors leading inside were bright enough to make up for it, and Sapnap shuddered as the blast heater above the door went down his neck and over the hairs below the jacket’s collar. Dream let go of his hand as he made his way inside, and he and George left Dream to his own devices, instead making their way down one of the aisles and to the fridges and freezers along the back wall. 

It felt odd being back in the place where he had first met Dream, but Sapnap followed George to the back without questions, and he let the other man guide him over to the fridge with all the cold drinks. The tiled floor was slightly sticky, as if someone had dropped something earlier in the day but no one had cleaned it up yet, and Sapnap pulled his feet up as if he could feel it through his shoes.

“Gross,” he said.

“Yeah, uh.” 

George paused in such a way that made Sapnap look up at him, and he first saw the slight shine to his bottom lip where he had licked it recently. His cheeks were still flushed from the cold outside, with Dream’s jacket too big on him and hanging over his wrists, he looked… well…

“Can I kiss you?” George asked, coming a little closer. 

Sapnap had hardly realised that George was slightly shorter than him before now, but with the other man less than a foot or so away it was hard not to notice. He was too busy thinking about it that he realised the pause lasted just a tad too long to be comfortable.

“Huh? Oh! Oh, yeah. Uh.”

“I’m just… going to go for it,” George said, and moved in close. 

George leaned in and slowly pushed his mouth to Sapnap's lips. George’s mouth felt smooth, and warm where Sapnap pressed his own closer. The memory of the other man lingering above him, his face obscuring the sky and being the only thing in his vision made him tilt his lips upwards in a smile against mouth. George lingered for a moment longer, and then retreated, opening his eyes to watch his face for a reaction. 

Sapnap felt himself laugh slightly, just a small rush of air from his nose like he couldn't quite believe what was happening, and George’s answering grin was enough for him to feel pleased with himself. 

He didn't hesitate this time in putting a hand on George’s neck, and George didn't resist pushing him up against the fridge door, the cool surface igniting his back and making him arch up into George’s greedy hands. 

Sapnap raised one hand, drew his thumb along the line of George’s jaw as if to confirm its existence.

There was a brief moment where they only breathed one anothers air, a hesitation, and it was impossible to tell who leaned in and kissed the other. It was only obvious that they did, and that his hands dug into George’s waist, the small of his back, and George put his hands in his hair and the fridge’s handle pressed against the base of his spine and he knew it should have bothered him, that his first kiss with George was in the shitty corner store of a university town, but he refused to bring himself to care.

But when he drew back, looking into George’s fluttering eyes and at the noise of colour behind him, feeling the cold air on his back, the corners of Sapnap’s lips edged upwards. George hid his face with his hand, or really, with the sleeve of Dream’s jacket. 

They looked to their right. Dream raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m not stopping you,” he said, “pretend I’m not here.”

Sapnap looked away and closed his eyes tightly, trying not to laugh as George left him to smack Dream on the arm. 

“You’ve made him shy,” George accused.

“He wasn’t shy a second ago.”

Dream put his hands up, or he tried his best considering the bottle of soda he had under one arm, and he laughed as George tried to hit him again. There wasn't any actual malice behind it, but Sapnap could still see the slight annoyance on George’s face when Dream leaned down and kissed him on the eyebrow. 

“Come on, let’s go,” Dream said, “Do you guys want anything else? Snacks? We’re getting food though, so…” 

Sapnap snagged a pack of Reece’s before they made their way over to the counter. Without a word George took it from him and added it to the bottle of soda Dream held and picked up a pack of Gushers, too. 

“Here,” Sapnap said as he grabbed his wallet, but Dream was already paying for them.

“Don't worry about it,” Dream said, “We’re taking you out, so it’d be a dick move to make you pay for it.”

“No, but I don't mind splitting?” Sapnap asked, “You paid, well, you spent a lot earlier. On me.”

George just shrugged.

“Dream buys today, and if you want to go out again then next time I’ll pay, and the time after that you can, if you want?”

George said it with such easy confidence that Sapnap had to pause for a moment, his mind sprinting to catch up with where his thoughts had run off to with the simple statement of ‘next time’. There hadn't been many next times, many times at all, but he was willing to believe them now. 

“I-if you’re okay with there being a next time,” George tried to amend with the silence stretching out a bit too thin, “I’d… I’d like there to be, but only if you both want to.”

“I’m cool with that,” Dream said when he took his card back from the dude behind the counter. 

“Yeah! Yeah, sorry, I kind of got stuck in my own head there,” Sapnap said as he brushed the back of his neck with his hand, one of his fingers trailing over the edge of George’s denim jacket, “It’s just… are you sure?”

“Of course,” George smiled, “we haven't even gotten to the, well, the ‘dinner and a movie’ part of what we planned out and I’m still enjoying myself.”

“I want to be wherever you two are,” Dream said, “so can we get out of here? I have an idea of where we can get food.”

“Oh, I know where you mean,” George made his way to the door, “Sapnap, how do you feel about burgers?”

“They’re good,” he said, trying to recover from his brief moment of stillness from before. 

He tried not to shiver when one of Dream’s large hand pressed into his lower back and guided them outside. 

The air was colder than before, if that was possible, and the deep blue twilight of the evening was upon them. Gone were the purple streaks with pinprick stars and in its place a low, lonely moon skimmed the horizon. Dream made use of the pockets in Sapnap’s coat and put everything aside from the bottle of soda away, but he still let his hand rest on Sapnap’s back, and he swore he could feel Dream’s fingers trying to seek and fill the dips just above the swell of his ass. He didn't make any move lower, even though Sapnap half-expected that he would, and the warmth as the man walked beside him was welcome as George forged on ahead.

A comfortable silence fell over them like a thick blanket of fog, and in the streetlamps Sapnap could see the faint mist of water rising from the surface of the road, the lingering heat of day interacting with the remaining moisture in the air, and it swirled past their feet as they moved through the night. The breeze from earlier in the day was gone, but the stillness left in its place was not unwelcome. Sapnap had the impression it would either rain or freeze overnight. He didn't know if either were forecast. 

They arrived at a bridge, one only meant for people and made of some kind of metal. He couldn't tell which, but it was probably steel, painted an ill-green which flaked on his hands as they crossed. The railway below was quiet, and at a small gap in the seven-foot-fence (Sapnap assumed it was to keep people from going across the railing) Sapnap could see in a straight line east for miles. In the darkness of night he could hardly see the tracks, aside from a few wet reflections of light from the amber streetlamps, but Dream just let his hand brush over Sapnap’s hip as he and George continued on. He remembered that it was Tuesday, specifically the week of Thanksgiving, and he heaved a sigh which he could see at the memory of his plans, or rather, lack of. 

“What are you two doing for Thanksgiving?” Sapnap asked after jogging slightly to catch up to them.

“Nothing,” Dream said, “I’m staying with my aunt and my parents are still abroad. They don't get a day off.”

“Where are they now?” George asked. 

“Singapore. Only until Christmas.”

“What about you, George?” Sapnap asked, turning to him, “anything cool?”

“No, much the same as usual. Just me in a big old house,” he laughed, “maybe we could meet up like last year, Dream.”

“Maybe not like last year, I don’t think my liver could take it, but meeting up is fine by me.”

“What about you?” George turned and looked at Sapnap, his eyes dark under the streetlamp, “anything cool?”

“Uh, well. I think I’ll be spending it alone, too,” Sapnap admitted with a sigh, and all of a sudden the tightness in his chest wasn't just from the cold air and climbing up the stairs.

“Oh, that sucks man,” Dream said too, and they stopped just before the stairs back down again.

In the distance, he could hear the faint sounds of cars travelling fast along a road, and he wondered where in the town they were. Sapnap felt almost ashamed to admit his lack of knowledge from the place, and he looked at the gum tainted floor of the bridge instead of the people in front of him.

“Where do you live? Like, state-wise?” George asked with a mild kind of curiosity, “If you live around our state I don't mind driving you home, or you could always come stay with me if you want, wait it out together if you want.”

“Washington,” he said, “around Seattle, if you want me to be specific.”

They were quiet for a second. 

“No fucking way,” Dream said with a laugh, “Seattle? More north or south? We’re from around Chelsea.”

Sapnap looked between them, opening his mouth as he did so and blinking a couple of times. There wasn't any teasing or sense of a lie on their faces though, no hint that they were messing with him.

“Echo Lake,” Sapnap eventually said.

“Okay,” George said, “We need,  _ need _ to do something on the day itself. Me, a big house, you, no one to spend it with. It’s a date. We’re hanging out.”

Dream turned to Sapnap as George started to make his way down the stairs. 

“His parents are those old-money types, you know? George isn't so bad though. How are you getting home?”

“Oh yeah, if he was one of  _ those _ guys,” Sapnap made quotation marks with his hands as he said it and quirked one corner of his mouth up, “I wouldn't be here.”

“Had to deal with them enough before, huh?” Dream said as if he understood, and they made their way down the stairs.

“Yeah. And, uh. I haven't planned any way of getting back yet,” Sapnap admitted, “I wasn't even sure if I was going to, seeing as no one is home and it’s only four days.”

“George drove me and him down here.”

Dream said it in a way that just seemed… whimsical, as if he was musing about something that wasn't deep but could have been, but then when they reached the bottom of the stairs where George had been waiting he spoke up again.

“Do you think we have room for one more on the ride home?” Dream asked out of the blue.

Sapnap opened his mouth – to refuse or beg, he wasn't sure – but George interrupted him.

“Sure.”

He closed his mouth. Dream grinned at him and shoved the bottle of soda into George’s arms, ignoring the other man’s sputtering and he instead grabbed Sapnap and spun with him in his arms. Even with the unexpected action, all Sapnap could do was laugh along with him and let out a muffled shout of surprise when Dream dipped him at the waist, put a hand in his hair and kissed him stupid. 

Sapnap was too busy scrabbling for grip on Dream’s shoulders to kiss too much back, but Dream didn't seem to mind when he drew back and hauled Sapnap upright again, giggling along with George at the sight. Sapnap raised a hand to touch his mouth.

“See?” Dream said as he looked at George, “I kissed him this time.”

“This time?” Sapnap asked.

“Last time we didn't. In the library.”

“No, we did I think.”

“Oh,” Dream thought for a second, and Sapnap had the sneaking suspicion that Dream liked to have his hands anywhere on anyone’s body, “Well, this time it was with innocent intentions.”

“Are you saying you don't want to have sex with him, Dream? For shame.”

“No, I do,” he looked down at Sapnap again, “definitely do.”

“It’s freezing and you’re supposed to be wooing me,” Sapnap said as he pushed Dream away by the chest, “so I think rail-side make outs will have to be put on hold.”

“I agree. It’s one thing making out in the store where it’s warm, but out here?”

“You kissed him in front of the fridge,” Dream grabbed the bottle of soda from George again.

“Yeah, but that was contact cold, here it’s surrounding cold.”

Sapnap came up to walk beside George again, and without thinking about it, their hands brushed against one another and they pressed their palms together. Dream was off to George’s other side, and Sapnap could see where their hands were entwined too, with him holding the soda in his other arm like a baby.

“So, dinner and a movie?” George asked, looking first at Sapnap and then at Dream. “You want to take away or dine in?”

“Let’s ask our wonderfully gracious date,” Dream said, and he leaned over so that he could see Sapnap, “What do you think?”

“I don't mind,” he said, almost automatically, “Whichever.”

“Do you want to eat and watch?” Dream asked, then turned away, “George, now there’s two of us who can’t make decisions.”

“I’m not much better,” he smiled, “You know how I am.”

“Damn,” Dream said, looking between them, “three of us, and not a decision-making skill to be found.”

Sapnap smiled at the teasing tone, continuing to walk beside them as they made their way down the street in front of the train station. It was made of old stone, brick by the looks of it, and a completely different material from most of the houses in the town. The only other brick building he could think of was his own dorm, but it suited the sturdy building well, and he looked up at the arched doorway as they walked past. He knew where they were now – making their way down the main street of town – and as he expected they made a right turn down a certain alleyway. 

“I think we should get take out,” he decided, “you said your roommate had gone home, right Dream?”

“Uh-huh, just this morning.”

They reached the end of the alleyway and the diner came into view, the bright yellow glow from the windows reflecting on the wet asphalt and casting a brief spotlight on their faces. Sapnap barely remembered the sights outside the diner’s windows when he had come there with Puffy, but the vague memories of moving trees through wet glass made him look to where the road was, and the only thing that suggested the treeline was the sudden dark spot where the stars got cut off. George flexed his fingers in Sapnap’s hand, and a moment later he let go of both his and Dream’s hands and walked forward. 

“Okay,” he said, “give me your orders. We don't all need to go in so…”

“Anything, whatever.”

George looked over at Sapnap.

“Uh, fries?” he said, “I’m not picky, and, uh…”

“Okay, I’ll surprise you,” George said, and then turned to Dream, “don't do anything while I'm gone.”

“What, anything at all? Can I breathe?”

“You know what I mean,” George chuckled before he turned his back and walked towards the diner. 

Dream and Sapnap waited beside the alleyway, with Dream resting his back against the concrete wall beside the diner and with Sapnap standing a foot or so away from him, his hands inside his pockets and looking over to the road in front of the trees again. No cars passed, but he could imagine hearing the noise of them going past, the not quite roar coming from a hundred or so metres away and disappearing just as quickly as they came. Dream pulled something from his pocket, and when Sapnap looked he could see it was just his phone, but the other man just raised an eyebrow and switched the bottle of soda from one arm to the other, adjusting the weight.

“I’m sorry,” Dream said, out of the blue, “for, well, everything.”

“Why?” Sapnap asked, “I mean, what for?”

“Just… everything. The shit in the van, the library, for not asking you about it and making sure you were okay, just everything. I keep doing shit that I shouldn’t and I wanted to apologise for it.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not though, not really. The stuff I did wasn't okay, even if we’re okay now.”

“You already apologised for the van, and the library was a misunderstanding. Besides, if not for George giving you two and me space, well, I don't know.”

Dream didn't say anything for a moment, but he did sigh as he put his phone away. The chilly air was starting to get to them both, with each breath coming out in a thick cloud of steam and disappearing like a ghost through a wall. Sapnap could feel himself shiver without any specific reason, only the cold to blame, but still Dream held out the arm he had free for Sapnap to come closer. 

“I am glad it worked out, for what it’s worth,” Dream said, “I mean, call me greedy, but two boyfriends? One was fantastic, but two?”

“I hope you’re saying it’s better,” Sapnap said as he slotted himself beneath Dream’s arm.

He squeezed his eyes shut when Dream pressed his freezing lips to his forehead, and Dream smirked when he pulled away again. 

“Yeah,” Dream said, “yeah, it’s better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE NEXT CHAPTER IS NSFW!  
> I was originally going to include it at the end of this chapter, but after discussing it with the coolest of dudes sheepfriend (checkout their ao3!) I'm just making this 13 chapters instead and including all nsfw content in the next chapter. If you are not interested in nsfw (or are a minor, and if so, why are you here????) please skip chapter 12 as well as 8. 
> 
> This chapter was a trial and a half to write. There's not really a good way of saying "character walked from a to b" without it feeling like I was cheating both myself and you guys, so there's quite a few sections I'm not overly happy with but either way, I hope you enjoyed! We're approaching the end here, so keep an eye out for the next two chapters.  
> (also shout out to one of you commenters for guessing one of the plot points for this chapter. I debated changing my plan but decided against it for simplicity's sake lol)
> 
> This has also, as of this chapter, become my longest work on ao3. It's also my fifth most viewed. You guys are incredible!   
> As aways, comments, kudos and bookmarks are really appreciated! let me know what you think!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS NSFW!  
> If you are a uninterested in NSFW content, you can skip this chapter without missing any plot. If you are a minor, why are you here???? Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Do not read this chapter.   
> Chapter 13 will be both SFW and the final chapter, so come back for that one if you want to read the conclusion!

Of all the movies to pick,  _ The Iron Giant _ played on the screen of Dream’s laptop, and the three of them had dragged all of the bedding from Dream’s bed and onto the floor to watch it. The air in his dorm room was musty, a sharp contrast to the clean-smell of George’s and the constant fresh air of Sapnap’s and Bad’s, but he couldn't really focus on it any more now that they had settled on something to watch.

Dream’s room was completely dark, with the overhead light and the bedside lights being turned off to try and reduce the glare on the screen, but even in the partial darkness, Sapnap could see due to the light in the laptop screen and the light from the streetlamps outside. The thin curtains did mute it somewhat, but the affect was still there.

Sapnap chewed the burger George had bought slowly, watching as the giant tried to interact with the kid on screen, and even though he hadn't seen the film before and it seemed pretty good, he was distracted. He couldn't pay as much attention to it as he pretended he wanted to, since the hand Dream had on his hip was distracting at best and downright criminal at worst. George’s hand on his thigh was sinful too, despite its innocent appearance, and he trailed his thumb across the flat part of Sapnap’s thigh in a back-and-forth motion, gentle. It was a little too close for comfort. 

Sapnap swallowed around the lump of food in his mouth (or was it the lump in his throat? He couldn't tell) and glanced to his side where Dream had already finished his meal, and then to George who was still holding his fries in his lap and chewing. Neither of them seemed to think much of the gentle, alluring actions. 

“Uh, not that I’m hating this or anything,” he said, and his voice broke when George’s thumb dragged across his thigh, going lower, “But if this keeps up, I’ll choke.”

“If what keeps up?” Dream asked, tilting his head but not looking away from the screen, “we’re just watching a movie.”

“Right,” George said, “Just watching a movie, but if you want this to stop, you’d let us know, right?”

Sapnap paused for a second, not saying anything, but the hands on his back and leg had stopped moving entirely. For a moment the only sound in the room was the movie and the faint sounds of someone moving around upstairs, that was until Sapnap spoke up again.

“Yeah, of course,” he said a moment later, “I’d tell you.”

“Cool,” Dream said, and the thumb on his thigh stroked again.

He had to force himself to take the last bite of the burger, and he squished the wrapper up and threw it into the packaging of Dream’s, the contents of which had already been eaten faster than Sapnap had managed to open his fries. The food had been delicious, with the meat being well-cooked, the fries both crisp and soft inside, and the sauces accompanying both were succulent and rich, but for the life of him he couldn't concentrate on them. He had tried, failed, and failed to try again. George’s hand was just so dangerously close to, to…

“Okay, uh,” Sapnap said when he had finished his mouthful, “What is this?”

“It’s  _ the Iron Giant _ ,” Dream said, “one of my favourites.”

“No, no.  _ This _ .”

Sapnap put one of his hands around his back and rested it on top of Dream’s, and the other went to George’s cold hand on his thigh. For a second neither of them said anything, but as Sapnap looked between them he could see the two of them looking at one another. Dream raised an eyebrow in an unspoken question. George’s mouth twitched upwards at the corners. 

“I know this is the first date,” George said deliberately, mouthing every word, “but I’ve been dying to do more than kiss you since Dream told me about the encounter between you two in the library.”

Sapnap didn't say anything for a second, but he didn't pull away from them either.

“Okay,” he said, “before we do anything I’m going to need to get the taste of this burger out of my mouth, because as good as it was, I don't think it’ll be great second-hand.”

Dream laughed and handed him the glass of soda he had been drinking from earlier, and while he took his time taking a sip, he felt George’s hand shift slightly upwards, over the tendon in his upper thigh. He took a breath, his bottom lip resting against the edge of the glass but not actually drinking from it, and he swallowed audibly. 

A pair of lips met his neck to his left – Dream’s – as he lowered the glass again, and without looking the other man took it from him and placed it on the table nearby, out of the way so that it wouldn't be disrupted. George’s other hand, the one not on his leg, slipped up his back and between his shoulder blades, and before Sapnap could say anything, their lips met in a gentle, sinking kiss. Sapnap’s head tilted back to get a better angle, but as he did so his neck made contact with Dream’s shoulder. The other man had shifted behind him to hold him upright and to gain easier access to the tendons in his neck, nipping at them gently before soothing the new marks with his tongue. The wet areas on his neck felt cool when they made contact with the still air in the room, but all it did was contrast with the heat in his stomach and between his thighs. 

He wasn't wearing the denim jacket – all three of them had taken their coats and shoes off when they’d reached the dorm – but Sapnap felt George fiddle with the buttons at the top of his shirt, the wine-coloured one he hadn't put any thought into earlier, but he couldn't voice a comment about it when George swiped his tongue over his lips in a question. Sapnap didn't mind though, not with how things were shifting into place, and he felt Dream’s hand slide down his back like honey off the back of a spoon. Something about the motion just seemed… he couldn't think straight. The only word that came to mind was ‘glossy’ and that didn't seem quite right.

As soon as George’s mouth parted from his, Dream’s pressed against his open lips, and he gasped into it as George slipped his body between his parted thighs. Sapnap’s head felt like it was spiralling down a deep cavern, unable to keep up with the thousand thoughts as Dream slipped a hand under his shirt and vest from behind and pushed his hands around his stomach, riding them up. George’s mouth creeped along the edge of his shirt, mouthing at the collar and dampening the material slightly with each kiss, but he did eventually raise a hand from where he had been pressing bruises into Sapnap’s thighs to fiddle with the top button. Dream’s tongue invaded his mouth and he arched when he felt George’s laugh, even if he couldn't hear it. The vibrations passed through George’s chest and into his, through each rib.

Sapnap groaned when one of George’s small fingers came under his shirt and vest to circle across his chest, carding through some of the fine hairs there and finding a nipple seemingly without looking. He broke the kiss with Dream a second later when the other man's hands slipped down his back again, lower than before. He pulled back from the kiss before Dream’s hands could find their way beneath his waistband. 

“Guys,” he said, and almost all movement stopped, “ Hang on a second .”

“What’s up?” George asked as he pulled back, his hands leaving Sapnap, and there was a small edge of uncertainty behind it, “Do you need us to stop?”

“No, but, just – “ he cut himself off with a frustrated sigh at himself, “I want to keep going, but this is technically, well. It’s technically the first date.”

“It is,” Dream said and trailed his lips up the side of his neck again, “So do you want us to stop?”

“No, no. So long as you two are okay with this.”

“I’m okay,” George said.

“I’m  _ very _ okay,” Dream planted a kiss to Sapnap’s jawline, “so should we keep going?”

Sapnap was silent for a moment, and while Dream wasn't able to keep his mouth away from the tendons in his throat and George’s hands were still high on his thighs, neither of them pushed through the boundaries they’d set together. Dream’s hands didn't wonder down his back and over the swell of his ass, and George didn't reach forward to palm over his jeans. There was stillness, almost complete stillness, as they waited for his response.

“Yes,” he said.

George answered him with a kiss. Sapnap’s eyes widened and then fluttered shut as the man took his fill with greed, his lips going lax and letting him take control of the kiss completely, and as he’d suspected, Dream’s hands came to his hips and began to fiddle with the button on his jeans. One of his legs spread out further as George’s hands came to his neck again to get at the buttons there, too, and he slipped at least three of them through the buttonholes before Sapnap groaned and removed his hands from Dream’s legs to help him with them, too. He was still wearing a black vest beneath it, but it was easy enough for the other two to get under it, and eventually both sides of the shirt parted and gave them both a clear view of his chest where his vest had ridden up. 

Everything felt too hot, stuffy in the clothes which had been comfortable earlier, but became too tight as soon as they’d started pushing and pulling him into shape. He felt a bit like wet clay, being moulded to their desires and he was helpless to do anything about it other than pant between kisses and try and do more than lean back on Dream’s chest.

“He’s good, huh?” Dream said to him, but it felt distanced, woozy as George finally pulled his vest up and bit at one of his soft buds, “He knows what he’s doing.”

“Stop teasing him,” George said, then to Sapnap, “Can I fuck you?”

Sapnap groaned loudly at George’s crassness, but he could appreciate the straightforward request when George finally,  _ finally _ , put a hand on the front of his jeans and rubbed his dick through the material. 

“I hate to break it to you,” Dream said, voice turning serious, “but we left the lube at yours, George.”

“No,” he said, pulling back, “we had it here, I thought?”

Sapnap looked between them, catching his breath. George’s hair was messed up, even though he hadn't touched it, and he realised with a flare of heat that Dream must have been running his hands through it when Sapnap was too busy trying to form a coherent thought. 

“Not when I checked this morning,” Dream said with a shrug.

“You checked?”

“I wanted to get off.”

George’s hand slid over his ribs, and he cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy, asking, “why don't you just masturbate like a normal person?”

“Well, I  _ had _ to in the end,” Dream looked down at Sapnap and palmed over the tent in his jeans, and as he groaned Dream continued, “and besides, isn't fingering a kind of masturbation anyway?”

“Guys, can we – ?”

Dream chuckled, and George only answered by smacking Dream on the side of the head and shoving his hands beneath Sapnap’s waistband without ceremony, and while he ignored the indignant yelp when Sapnap felt his cold hands go under, the groan immediately afterwards was worth it. George stroked him up and down as Dream forcibly raised his hips and slipped his clothes off part way to give him easier access. Sapnap raised a hand to Dream’s hair as George bit down on his nipple again, and he felt Dream’s own erection against his ass when he arched his back and slid onto it by accident. 

With a groan, Dream buried his head into the crook of Sapnap’s neck again, only this time he went to the other side and just breathed hot air over his collarbone and shoulder, his mouth open and unresponsive against his skin. George slid backwards over the carpet, accidentally knocking the laptop to one side when his foot went out and skidded over the floor as he tried to adjust to the new angle. Sapnap’s stomach fluttered when George left an array of kisses over the skin there, his nose knocking against his bellybutton before his breath, warm and sweet, fanned out over his cock. When his stomach jumped again, Dream’s hand came and held him there, and he could feel the other man’s dick against his ass.

Shy and cat-like, George spread his tongue out wide and licked over the head of his dick, and with Dream’s hand holding him there, he couldn't buck away or move when the shock of the feeling went through him. He groaned deep just as Dream started to find a rhythm against his backside, and George’s cold hand came to keep his dick steady as his body moved against his will. Dream’s other hand left his thigh and came up to grab the lean flesh of his chest, squeezing there as if he had something worthwhile to hold onto. He gasped as George finally, finally put his mouth around the tip of his dick and sucked. 

Sapnap couldn't keep his eyes open, and he turned his face towards the dark ceiling at the feeling of George’s kitten licks and small kisses against the shaft, and he gasped again when he sunk his head down as far as he could. 

He knew he wasn't the longest or thickest, and even though he was definitely not small by any means, George made it look easy. He moved his head down and up slowly at first, with Dream’s hands holding Sapnap at bay and stopping him from changing the pace or bucking up into his mouth, and eventually George used one of his hands to sneak lower than his cock, over his balls and against his perineum as he cupped him there and applied a minimal amount of pressure to him. Sapnap’s breath came out in a shudder as George began to stroke his fingers over his hole, not pushing in at all but just letting the thought of what he’d rather be doing linger in the back of his mind as he pressed the flat of his tongue against his cock again and sucked. 

Sapnap did buck then, hips rising sharply against his will as he imagined George prepping him and spreading him open with his fingers, and Dream laughed at him slightly when George looked up, but Sapnap was only rolling his head from side to side. When he did look, however, George’s eyes met his from under his fringe and as he finally registered what he was seeing, the other man’s expression turned evil and went as far down as he could. The tip of his dick hit George’s throat, and he felt as he intentionally choked slightly on it. Sapnap’s thighs twitched and he gasped – a sharp, unexpected sound – and George rose his head and dropped it down again just as fast. Sapnap squeezed his eyes shut, with Dream rutting against his ass and lower back, and with George trying to get him to come sooner rather than later, he bared his neck, looked blindly up at the ceiling and gasped, “‘M gonna–“

George took him down to the base and flicked his tongue out wickedly. Dream bit the shell of his ear and ground against him. Sapnap came with a moan and with shaking thighs, tightening in on the sides of George’s face and pressing the material against his ears. He shook as George hollowed out his cheeks again and moaned around him, sliding his sinful mouth upwards one last time and tonguing the tip again before pulling back. When Sapnap looked down, as delirious as he was coherent, he watched the lump of George’s throat as he swallowed. 

Before he could think to say anything, or think at all, Dream spoke up.

“Hot.”

George’s sultry smile slipped off his face and was replaced with one that looked far more unimpressed than intentionally attractive, but Sapnap could feel Dream’s grin and panting breath regardless. He couldn't help but smile too, the endorphins and whatever-else floating through his bloodstream like a half-inflated balloon on a windy day – just meandering along, waiting for the next gust of wind. 

But George was talking, shuffling on his knees closer and Dream was still draped over his back like an overly possessive cat, making it harder to think than it was before. Sapnap had enough comprehension to lay a hand on George’s hip though, the fabric covering it rough in comparison to Dream’s shirt and chest behind him. None of them were the typical ‘athletic’ type, more average than anything else, but the thought of being between them was more than enough for Sapnap to fantasise about until he died a happy man thinking about it. 

“You good?” George asked, his hands coming to Sapnap’s hips again.

Before he could answer, George drew a sharp breath.

Dream’s hands, previously inactive, had come around to Sapnap’s front and palmed over the front of George’s pants in a heavy, clumsy motion. He hadn't noticed before, but the gradual grind against his ass when George had him in his mouth had stopped, and he could only assume that Dream had come too. George, however, thrust upwards desperately as Dream applied more pressure.

“I’m good,” Sapnap agreed.

He put his arms around George when he leaned forward and into his neck. George’s shuddering breaths came out unevenly, like someone trying to do a delicate task while being distracted, and Dream’s hands were dexterous and careful at Sapnap’s front, his knuckles occasionally brushing his stomach but avoiding his over-sensitive cock. It was as if he had practice doing this before – as if he and George had tried every position in the book, and now they were moving onto the three-person ones with Sapnap being brought along for the ride. Another bite was pressed into his neck and he groaned, the delicate heat from before licking at his insides when George bucked too and rested against his hips. 

The back and forth continued, with Dream eventually silencing George’s quiet breaths and moans with a kiss, and Sapnap was helpless to let them do anything but kiss over his shoulder, waiting eagerly for George to thrust his hips up one more time into the cavern of Dream’s hand and come. 

And eventually, he did. George bit into the side of his neck slightly, more so sucking than applying teeth to his skin, and he groaned against him as Dream went faster. One tilt of his hips, then two, and George pushed himself through the aftershocks until the glow afterwards greeted him too. 

With his mouth as wet as it was cherry-coloured, George drew back. His face was flushed crimson and his eyes half-lidded. 

“So you enjoyed that then?” Dream asked, but before George could answer, the Dream was pushing his dirtied fingers between his own lips. 

“Yeah,” George panted, climbing out of Sapnap’s lap, “yeah I did.”

George lay down on his back, his legs still sticking out to each side and the movie, long forgotten, was playing in the background. The screen of Dream’s laptop had been pushed down slightly, so that the light in the room was more muted than before and Sapnap could hardly see around the room. He wasn't quite catching his breath anymore, instead reeling from the interaction, a  _ good _ interaction, with Dream and George. When had he last had sex and enjoyed it whole-heartedly and guilt free? A long time, no doubt. It felt… peculiar, when he realised the weird feeling inside him wasn't regret. 

“So,” he said, and despite it being quiet he still felt like he was disturbing the room, “what now?”

“I feel like I need a nap,” George said, “and you?”

“I can get behind a nap,” Dream agreed, “But I need to get out of these pants first. They’re going to start itching soon.” 

“Then go for it. We’re not stopping you.”

Dream didn't move, and instead he leant his head back on the bed, his eyes closed, but he still held Sapnap’s hips between his thighs, and didn't seem to mind when he leant back onto the taller’s chest. George pushed one of his legs into Sapnap’s lap. 

“How about you?” George asked Sapnap, looking through the dark room at him, “What do you want to do now?”

He didn't know what to say. What was there? Making an excuse like ‘this doesn't usually happen’ or answering with ‘I’m up for whatever’ didn't really apply and Sapnap couldn't think of anything, anything at all, better to say. There was plenty  _ to _ say, but nothing good, so he shrugged.

“Yeah,” he said, “I’m cool with a nap.”

“Great,” George’s head made a ‘thud’ as he let it fall back on the carpet, “give me a minute and we’ll sort that out.”

Dream edged his way around Sapnap and stood up, leaving Sapnap to the cool air of the room, but Sapnap couldn't bring himself to mind. He was shimming out of his jeans and underwear, his back to Sapnap and George, and even with Sapnap politely deciding not to say anything, George whistled.

“Shut up,” Dream said as he pulled them off, and he went over to the dresser near the door. 

He pulled out a pair of pyjamas and slipped them over his bare legs, but before Sapnap could think about his own trousers, still halfway down his thighs, Dream threw a soft pair at him as well, then another pair to George. George didn't hesitate in pulling his own trousers off, even though he didn't stand up and looked a bit like a worm when he was trying to get into them, before he settled back onto the carpeted floor with the far too large pants hiding all the features of his legs. Sapnap then did much the same, save for less wriggling, and he made a slight noise when Dream grabbed his hand to help pull him up. 

“Come on, nap time,” he said when Sapnap had managed to stand.

George made a muffled sound on the floor, but Dream was already piling all the blankets and pillows back onto the bed, with Sapnap taking the time to rid himself of his shirt and vest fully. Dream was still wearing his olive-coloured t-shirt from earlier, but George was pressing the buttons on his shirt too, with little success. 

“Big or little spoon?” Dream asked.

“Oh, uh. Either?”

“Middle man,” George said when he finally managed to pull his own shirt off, “nice.”

“Hopefully your hands won't be as cold as George’s,” Dream pulled one of the pillows around so that it was more fluffed up, “I’ve almost screamed with the number of times he’s wrapped those things around me.”

“Nah, I think mine are pretty warm,” Sapnap said, flexing his fingers as if to demonstrate.

Dream finished fussing with the bed and turned to George, who was still lying on the floor as if he wasn't capable of getting up.

“Get up,” Dream said.

George patted his stomach.

“Nah. Don't feel like it.”

“Come on, up.”

“Hmmm. No.”

Dream sighed, then he reached down and grabbed George by the inside of his thigh and his forearm, hauled him up, and tossed him onto the bed with a shout. Sapnap laughed slightly as George emerged from the bedding, looking both offended and flustered.

“Go on, in,” Dream said to Sapnap, “he’s ready for you.”

“What if I don't?” Sapnap asked for the sake of it, but he put his hands up in surrender when Dream made grabby-hands, “No, no. I’ll go willingly.”

George pulled the sheets back and let Sapnap slip between them, but before Sapnap could find a position that worked, George was already turning him around so that he was facing out into the room. One of his frigid hands creeped around Sapnap’s waist and pressed over the curve of his stomach, and while Sapnap shivered he didn't pull away. It was tight in the single bed, but that didn't stop Dream from clambering in afterwards, all legs and elbows as he pressed his back to Sapnap and let the other man hug against him too. It was a little awkward, being spooned by someone shorter than him and simultaneously spooning someone taller, but Sapnap just mentally shrugged to himself and let George bury his head in his hair, and let Dream put a hand on top of his. 

“You're right,” Dream said quietly, “Your hands are warmer than George’s.”

Sapnap felt it before it happened. One of the cold hands on his stomach left his skin and reached forwards. Dream’s back arched away from the touch and he almost fell off the bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was like 2k so I edited it and now it's 4k. It's still a little shorter than some of the previous chapters, and the next one will be about 3k (I think?) so it should be out Sunday! Or whenever I feel like.  
> Either way, I hope you enjoyed!   
> I've reached a couple of milestones with this piece so I just want to say thank you to whoever has read it so far! This work has passed 5k views :o and its almost at 6k views :O and I've achieved me new year's goal of writing 100,000 words in 2021 8O I dont understand how all of this has happened so quickly, but thank you so much for reading! It means the world to me that so many people have read this work and enjoyed it, so thank you, thank you, thank you again!   
> As always, let me know what you think!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU SKIPPED THE LAST CHAPTER  
> then you didn't miss anything 💚

It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times, but at least he didn't have to pay for fuel. The snack-tax was enough to make up for it, given the prices of the name-brand stuff these days, but he couldn't complain – the company more than made up for it. 

The bright late-November sunshine did little to warm the day, but Sapnap still squinted his eyes into it at the sight of the quad which was almost empty, and covered in a fine layer of frost and leaves. The majority of trees had lost theirs, aside from one that looked like a pine on the far side, but he wasn't focusing so much on the visuals so much as he was the short walk down to the road. His backpack was heavy – a few changes of clothes and his laptop, along with chargers and aforementioned snacks were enough to ensure that fact – but he just shifted the weight on his back and kept walking. When his shoes hit the frosted leaves along the path, they crunched beneath his feet and looked like crystalized sugar, although he suspected that eating it wouldn't do much more than make him spit it out. Five-year-old him knew what dead leaves and frost tasted like. Sapnap, for some strange reason, didn't feel the need to double check. 

Sapnap had left Dream’s dorm that morning, just before the sun had risen and cast it red hues across the sky, and even with the delay caused by the other two’s long goodbyes, he had made it back to his own dorm in good time. 

He had checked that morning, a few too many times to be normal, that the scarf he’d stolen from Dream covered up the bruises and bite marks on his neck, which had flared up overnight to become a mottled, ugly red and blue pattern across his skin. Well, they were not necessarily ugly, but worth hiding. Sapnap had inadvertently declared it a secret between himself and the mirror when he had donned the scarf, and it felt odd to call it anything  _ but _ a secret when Bad hadn't seen them. He shared, intentionally or not, almost everything with Bad and the fact that the other man had said a hasty goodbye that morning before skipping off into eastern Montana and eventually Nebraska with Skeppy didn't escape Sapnap’s notice. 

Bad kept some secrets too, so why shouldn't he? The bruises didn't need to be seen.

He came to a stop at the end of his building, shifting his backpack again slightly and pulling out his phone. The sunshine reflected off the screen and into his eyes, so he raised a hand to block some of the light and make it easier to read the single text at the top of the screen. 

_ We’ll be there soon! Dream is still doing his hair, smh.  _

It had been sent fifteen minutes ago, but Sapnap just huffed out a laugh which appeared like a ghost in the air and he watched it disappear into the light, leaning against the wall and looking out into the road that went in front of the college. He’d know George’s car when he saw it, apparently, and Sapnap waited patiently for the two of them to show up. They didn't need to promise him they would – they’d been reluctant enough to let him go back to his own dorm the night before to reassure him of that fact – and he waited, quietly, for them to arrive.

But before he could think of anything else, Sapnap heard leaves crunching through the fallen leaves and frost behind him, and before he could turn around a certain brown-haired someone appeared.

“Hey,” Puffy said, “You going home after all?”

“Uh-huh,” Sapnap turned slightly so that they could see one another clearly, “I am. I’m just waiting for my ride now.”

“Your  _ ride _ , huh? Did your parents decide to come after all?”

“No, uh, this might be weird.”

Puffy raised an eyebrow at him. 

Sapnap continued, “Turns out that me, Dream and George live around the same area. They’re giving me a ride”

“Oh, cool. I take it that your date went well with them, then?”

Sapnap lowered his gaze, but he was certain she could still see his smile. 

“Don't tell me,” she said, her voice smug, “you had the time of your life. They took you dancing across down, you went to see a movie, you got dinner – “

“You’re not wrong. Well, the dancing bit might be, but Dream did spin me – “

“Spin you? That’s definitely a dance. Did you seriously tick off all three of the ‘classic first date’ things? What’s going to be left for your second one? If, well, if there is a second one.”

She sounded uncertain as she said it, going from foot to foot slightly as they both stood around in the cold, and despite the memory of the night before still being fresh in his mind, he couldn't really find it inside himself to admit all of the details of the evening to her. 

“Yeah, I hope there will be. Maybe not tonight or whenever – or maybe there will be, I don't know – but I don't see why not.”

“So what’s your grand plan?” She asked instead, smiling with some mirth behind it, “if the three classic first date things are out of the way, what’s left?”

“I don't know,” he admitted, “but honestly, just… hanging out is cool.”

She nodded slowly, “yeah, it is.”

They stood again in silence for a moment, neither of them saying anything and the world staying quiet, too. Eventually though, Puffy turned to him and they looked at one another for a moment, with her opening her mouth as if to speak and seemingly thinking better of it. There was another pause, before she found what she wanted to say.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad it worked out between you and them,” she said, “I know I made jokes about you being miserable all the time and how I wanted to kill those two, but I’m glad it worked out. No one deserves to be messed around like that.”

“I’m glad it did too,” Sapnap said, and he smiled, “And I’m glad you were helping me out back there. The last thing I wanted was another ‘me three years ago.’ I know you didn't know me back then, but – “

“I can imagine,” Puffy waved her hand to dismiss his worries, and she laughed lightly with him, “Don't worry. Me three years ago might not have been depressed, but she and I, well, we would have had very different ways of looking at things.”

“I get that.”

“So you and your new boyfriends are going back home, huh? They inviting you over tomorrow, too?”

“Not sure, we might discuss it on the way back.”

“That’s fair,” Puffy said, and she shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat, “well. I have a long drive back.”

“I’ll see you around,” Sapnap said.

“Give me a hug,” She said, spreading her arms wide.

It was a little awkward with both of them still wearing their bags, but Sapnap still gave Puffy the necessary hug and she tried her best to put her shorter arms around him too, and while they lingered there for a moment, neither of them overstayed their welcome and pulled back a moment later.

“And I’ll see you around, too. Let me know if I need to go back on my statement about killing someone.”

“I will. Promise me you’ll do the same?”

“Absolutely. I have a list of cousins I wouldn't mind you talking to.”

“Give me names and I’ll see to it,” Sapnap said, and they smiled at one another. 

“I’m glad I met you, Sapnap,” she said as she walked off, “And I’m glad you’re alright.”

“You too. Here’s hoping it stays that way.”

Puffy walked down towards the main street, her duffle back held in one hand as she took the few short steps down and onto the sidewalk, and she disappeared behind a hedge in the direction he had last seen her van. She didn't remerge, and he didn't miss her. They’d see one another on Monday, anyway. This wasn’t the last time they’d see one another.

So he waited, alone, for a little while longer. His chest began to feel tighter with the added frostiness of the day and he closed his eyes in the sunshine in the hopes it would warm him further, but no luck. As he stood, waiting and waning, he repeated a mantra that hadn't done anything to calm his anxieties in the past but did something to help him now. His phone, which he clutched in one hand in his pocket, didn't buzz again. 

But then a car, beaten to hell and bright cheesy-orange, rolled up the road and stopped in the street. The bumper looked like it had been bumped a few too many times, and there was some tape holding it up, though he couldn't tell if it was actually falling off or whether it was more for the effect of it. The passenger-side door and Dream stood out of it. He waved. 

“Get in the cheese car!” Dream yelled. 

“Stop calling it that!” George’s muffled voice came a second later. 

Sapnap huffed a laugh to himself before pushing himself off the wall and taking the path down towards the street. Dream closed the passenger side door and walked to the back door and opened it, gesturing like a valet for Sapnap to get inside, and while he walked down the stairs and onto the sidewalk, Dream held his pose. 

“You really used to dance, huh?”

“Did you really doubt me? All this time? I’m hurt.”

“Don't be, it was just an observation. A reaffirming. A reaffirmation?”

Sapnap threw his bag into the backseat first before climbing in, but before he could put his seatbelt on or do anything else, a certain blonde haired someone was climbing into the other seat beside him and kicking George’s seat by accident. 

“I swear you’re like a child sometimes,” George said as he reached back to smack at Dream’s ankle, “kicking my chair and harassing Sapnap in the back.”

“I haven't had a chance to harass him yet, give me a minute,” Dream struggled to put on his seat belt, “accusing me of crimes I'm going to commit in the future, for shame George, for shame.”

“So you admit it,” Sapnap said as George began to drive, “you’re here to harass me?”

“Not right now. Maybe later.”

“Cool, just making sure we’re all clear.”

The town started to pass them by when George made his way onto the main road, and even though Sapnap had expected Dream to be the one driving, he wasn't bad at it by any means. Something about their whole relationship seemed unusual, as if they were intentionally trying out things that they didn't expect to work and accepting the results as the new normal. Like George being the big spoon the night before, or Dream being alluring and flirtatious despite being taller than the both of them and having a gangliness to match. It made him wonder where in the dynamic he would fit, and about how they’d try and work things out with there being three of them now instead of two.

Even though it still felt a little early to be calling them his boyfriends. 

Almost as if George could tell what he was thinking, when they reached a traffic light at the end of the main road, he stretched an arm out into the backseat at Sapnap. He didn't look back, but when Sapnap hesitated, he made eye contact with him in the rear-view mirror. 

“Come on,” he said, voice a little teasing and whiney, “where’s my hello kiss?”

Sapnap huffed, “I kissed you this morning.”

“Yes, but you haven't kissed me since seeing you again, so come on.”

He didn't say anything, but he did lean forward and took his hand in his own before pressing a kiss to the back of his hands, between two knuckles. George cheered, brushing his hand over the side of Sapnap’s face and then his chin, before he withdrew it again when the light changed to green, not saying anything more. When Sapnap looked at Dream, the other man was looking back at him. He raised an eyebrow. 

“Well?” Sapnap asked, “are you waiting for me to do something?”

“Don't harass him, Dream.”

“It’s not harassing if I want it,” Sapnap said when Dream took his jaw in his hand.

“Come here,” Dream murmured before pressing their lips together. 

Sapnap’s stubble prickled Dream’s chin, making an odd scratching sound that at first distracted him from the ambient sounds of the car surrounding them, but it was quickly forgotten when Dream pressed his tongue against his lips to deepen the kiss. 

His mouth was hot. Sticky. Sapnap knit his eyebrows in a slight grimace. He tasted a familiar tang that was the aftertaste of either over-sweetened coffee or mint chewing gum or both, but it was hard to tell where the taste came from. It did taste a bit like both. He squeezed Dream’s hips a little harder, twisting his tongue against his as the other man pushed him down into the back seat. The motion of their tongues was more exciting than taste or texture by far; something about doing this so comfortably, with George sitting nearby and letting them get on with it, sent sparks shooting through his spine, making him arch his back.

Sapnap lost his breath as Dream tugged Sapnap further down in the seat, so that his head rested against the car door. Haphazardly he lifted up his knees a little more to let Dream slide further between them, and when Dream brought his weight down he jolted, his shoulders shifting to the side. Sapnap breathed a shivery and muffled groan that vibrated through his teeth and made him grip Dream’s shoulder tighter. He could feel the throbbing of the other man’s heart against his fingertips from where his hand was pressed to the other man’s chest, stopping him from crushing him. 

He swiped his tongue through Dream’s mouth and over his teeth one last time before leaning back. Their mouths parted with a pop and a smack, ribbons of hot spit bridging their lips together before thinning and breaking.

“Hot,” George said, “but please don't fuck in my car.”

“In the cheese car? Never.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t already,” Sapnap said, “shows what I know.”

“Oh no, we have,” George tilted his head to them, just as Dream was trying to get his fingers beneath Sapnap’s, Dream’s, scarf, “just not when it’s moving. I’m not sure how great my driving will be with a distraction like that.”

“Sounds dangerous, we’ll stop. Why are you hiding these?”

Dream pulled off the scarf just enough to reveal the bruises from the night before on his neck, and Sapnap immediately raised a hand to push it back into place, his face going dark with the blush across his cheeks.

“I didn't want my roommate to see them,” Sapnap defended.

“Are you shy?”

“No, just,” he paused, debating if he should say it, “I wanted it to be a secret. For you two and me.”

He could just about see George’s slight smile in the rear-view mirror, and Dream pressed his face into the small span of his neck that had become available since he had pulled the scarf down. Though he didn't bite down or make a nuisance of himself, Sapnap still leaned away and gave him room to move further in, and without questioning it, Dream undid his seatbelt, slid into the middle seat, and attached himself again. 

“Sorry,” he said, into Sapnap’s shoulder, “I want to be close.”

“It’s okay.”

“George is this okay?” Dream asked, “Not too distracting?”

“I don't see anything wrong with it, my eyes are on the road.” he said and kept driving. 

It felt like the car was levelling out now, or whatever the term was for when a car stopped twisting and turning down the side streets of a town and they entered the highway heading west. Seattle was pretty far away from their college, around seven hours of straight driving, so setting off so early had been an unfortunate but necessary evil. But now with Dream in the backseat with him, and George playing with the dials for the radio in his atrocious cheese-coloured car, the drive might not be so bad.

“Thank you for this, by the way,” Sapnap said quietly.

The early morning light came through in thick beams through the windows, disturbed only by the occasional shift of the wheel and street lamps by the side of the highway. The road was calm and smooth as they made their way further, some weird, unknown song playing quietly on the radio, and George’s mouth, unseen from his position in the backseat, opened as he quietly replied.

“What for? It just makes sense to do this together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO  
> THANK YOU FOR READING  
> I LOVE ALL OF YOU
> 
> I've said thank you over and over again in the notes of this fic, but seriously, THANK YOU! This is rapidly becoming the 'most' out of all of my fics - it's currently second most read, it's most bookmarked, most subbed, and most commented. It's incredible! Thank you so much!
> 
> As always (and it feels lacklustre putting this here after all that gushing) please do leave comments and kudos and whatever you feel like below. I have a terrible track record for responding to comments, but if you have questions, observations, or anything else I'll try to respond. If you want to come talk to me on Tumblr or twitter, feel free too! I'm not intimidating, just so very, very awkward :p

**Author's Note:**

> This one's a bit weird, a bit new, mostly because no one's going to get hurt.... I think
> 
> This is a work in progress, and so feedback is really important to me! I really appreciate every comment I get, even if I dont respond to all of them, so thank you for leaving them :)  
> I'm currently on chapter 3, with chapter 2 being written, and since I'm in the middle of essay season the updates might be quite slow. If you subscribe to this work, you'll get an email whenever it updates  
> Thanks again for reading, and be sure to let me know what you think!
> 
> (also, as a side note, this is my 90th work on ao3! Hooray!)
> 
> As always, please respect creators boundaries by not sending them this fic, and I will do the same in the event that they no longer want fanfiction or fan works. If it is ever declared incorrect to write shipping fics by the creators themselves this work will be deleted. Under no circumstance am I trying to insult or hurt anyone here.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: @turtle-ier  
> Find me on Twitter: @Turtle_ier


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